Great, First Mutant Manor, Now the Baxtor Building
by Monkey Ruler
Summary: Currently in the Harry Potter books. The summary is in the first chapter due to laziness. On permanent HIATUS
1. A Little Thing Called The Beginning

Summary: You could say I was a pretty average girl. I live in a nice, big ol' mansion filled with teenage mutants, my best friend is a player constantly being attacked by a blond assassin, I go to gym every day at four o'clock with a nice buff trainer, Logan, oh, and I can bend time and space. Not to mention I used to work for a psychotic preaching mutant with a bucket on his head. Yup, lifes pretty normal for me. Rated mainly for language.

DISCLAIMER: I own none of this, except for the OC I just made up, otherwise I'd be rich and I wouldn't be writing this all down on instead selling it for millions.

"Johnny!" A girl with shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes ran up to a boy with bright orange spiked hair wearing torn jeans and a black misfits shirt.

"Kira!" They both hugged tightly, Kira gasping for air.

"How's my fellow pyromaniac/favorite Aussie?" Kira asked once they let go, a hint of a Baltimore accent hidden in her voice.

"As good as evah, sheila!" He replied enthusiastically.

"How was Hawaii?"

"Alroight, although I miss havin' moi favorite sheila with me."

"You lost sheila?" Kira asked, horror-struck.

"Second favorite girl then, moi baby is in me pocket, as always." He said, bringing out the most sacred inanimate object known to those two maniacs: the Zippo lighter with the flame on the side.

"I'm touched."

"Of course you are."

"She's more beautiful than I remember." She said in awe.

"Oh please, stop droolin' over deh damn t'ing 'fore Remy blows it up." A grumbling mutant said, trudging in with his brown hair hanging in his eyes.

"Remy! How you doin'?" She gave him a quick hug, bouncy from the ice cream she just ate.

"As good as can be wit'is idiot runnin' wild over everyt'ing." He said, glaring at Johnny a bit.

"Hey, he only goes wild over fire."

"And bunnies, 'sheilas' dat t'ink he's a creep, writin' love stories wit' fire related titles, dare Remy go on?"

"Fine, he's a little over the edge, but why do you think he likes Wanda so much?"

"She-I mean, Wanda's heah?" John said with an expression that could be compared to a love sick puppy, not daring to call her sheila because he knew she'd kill him.

"Rogue's room."

"Roguey?" Remy asked with the same expression as John.

"With Wanda, in Rogue's room. Where's Petey? I bet he'll be looking for Kitty and will grow slightly jealous yet still trusting when he finds out that she's with Kurt by the pool."

"Carryin' deh luggage." Remy said.

"I'll help him, since you two lazy men obviously can't handle a couple suitcases." She said, beginning to walk out the door.

"You calling us weak, pidgeon?" John asked, calling Kira by his nickname for her. Sighing, she turned back around to face them.

"No, I'm calling you two the strongest men on the planet." She rolled her eyes.

"Works for me."

"S'long as Remy don't have to carry not'in'."

"Men." She mumbled, walking to their car.


	2. Where Kira is Utterly Creeped Out

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 'Cept Kira.

"Oh, ROGUEY poo!" Kira screamed, running into her room and spotting a white stripe and a pale face among the dark greens and blacks.

"What, ya psycho?" Rogue asked, flipping a page to her novel while she laid on her bed.

"Where's Gumbo?"

"Ah dunno. How should Ah know where that Swamp Rat spends most of his tahme?"

"His brother just called me, Belle and Julien are missin' again from N'Awlins and rumor has it they're going ofter our Raging Cajun... once more." She said in a depressed manner.

"Not those nutcases _again_?" Rogue groaned.

"Apparently so. We're probably going to go after him. He's good, but he can't last long when they have twenty of their best assassins, all with guns. Or maybe he can. Wanna watch him dodge a thousand bullets?" She shrugged, jumping off her bead.

"When are they gonna give up?" Rogue whined.

"When Remy's in a body bag. Or when they find something better to do."

_doo doo doo doo doo _**a close up of Kira's face zooms in and out of the camera with neon swirls in the background** _doo doo doo doo doo_

So, they arrived at the docks, complete with warehouses, gloom, and mist.

"Belladonna." Kira cried dramatically before visibly deflating, "What do you want now?" She groaned.

"No _homme_ leaves Belladonna Boudreaux, 'specially at deh altar!" She spoke as if it was a rehearsed speech, "'M here for m' revenge, Remy. Dis time y' gonna pay! I loved y'!"

"Y' loved dat no-good mutant?" Julien asked, outraged.

"_Oui_. Whatcha gon' t' do 'bout it, Julien?" Belladonna turned to face him, an angry glare painted on her face.

"Are yah'll gonna fight or not?" Rogue shouted.

"Oh, right." Julien said before taking out a huge metallic device. He waved his hands and a swarm of assassins leapt out from god knows where and ran towards them.

"Great. Where's a telekinetic mutant when you need her?" Kira mumbled to herself, clenching her fists and preparing to fight.

And so a huge battle scene erupted, filled with people kicking peoples butts and assassins screaming for their mommies.

Julien tried to shoot Remy many times with his weird laser gun bazooka thing, but kept missing. Cause everyone knows he's just a papa's boy who can't do nothing right and enjoys watching Lifetime.

Belladonna, fed up with her wimpy brother, grabbed the gun from Julien and aimed straight for Remy, shooting with precise aim. Kira, hoping for a big payment later on (hopefully some nice brownies), jumped in front of the ray, coughing as she smelled smoke and brimstone similar to when Kurt teleported, and we all know how bad that smells, disappearing in a flash.

"Where'd she go?" Rogue exclaimed, eyeing the siblings.

"Y' got me dere, kid." Julien shrugged, "I just bought deh t'ing. I don't know what deh hell it does."

"Uh oh." Remy looked at the angry Rogue, cringing as she charged forward.

He may have hated them and all, but he wouldn't wish that pain on _anyone_. Okay, maybe he would.

_doo doo doo doo doo _**a close up of Kira's face zooms in and out of the camera with neon swirls in the background** _doo doo doo doo doo_

Kira groaned as she blinked in surprise. _Wha? This isn't heaven_. She looked at her surroundings. It was a metal hallway, filled with glass windows looking out into space. Everything was either metal or glass.

_Metal? DoOd, this is Magneto's uber scary spaceship I heard about! Argh! I'm in hell! _She quickly jumped up and walked forward, looking around cautiously. At least, until a big huge wave of pink death surrounded her.

"Crap. AARGH!"

_doo doo doo doo doo _**a close up of Kira's face zooms in and out of the camera with neon swirls in the background** _doo doo doo doo doo_

A woman with tan skin and brown hair opened her eyes, her pupils immediately shrinking and her blue eyes growing darker as the white light flowed into her eyes. She blinked a couple times before she could make out her surroundings: a hospital room. Looking at the IV to her right, she immediately panicked. She quickly yanked the needle out of her arm, pain coursing through her whole body. How did she get in here? What happened to Magneto's new floating space ship of doom? The smell of sterilization and antibiotics sent shivers up her spine as she contemplated these things.

Screw hospitals. The pain was getting worse and all she wanted to do was go home, kill Remy, eat brownies (not made by Kitty), and sleep. In that order. She looked around and saw a glass door leading out into a huge hallway with many more doors.

She was going to find a way out of this hellhole and return to the outside world! Yes!

Nothing was going to stand in her way! Yes!

Now if only she could ignore the pain enough to stand up. Damn.

"Great, you're up!" A perky brunette girl walked in the room in the standard nurse uniform and picked up a clipboard, "So, Jane Doe, mind telling me your real name? You gave the others quite a scare when you appeared out of nowhere all unconscious."

"Uh, who's the others? And where's Magnus? He's dead."

Giggle, "Who's he? I'm talking about Mr. Richards, Mr. Grimm, and Mr. and Ms. Storm."

"Sure, let's talk to them then." She giggled and walked out, a man with black and silver hair and a blond woman coming back into the room.

"Hello, I'm Reed Richards."

"And I'm Sue Storm."

".. Kira." She stared at him, processing these comic book lookalikes.

"Are you part of Victor Von Doom's crew?" He asked.

"Uh, no?"

"Then how were you allowed on the ship?"

"Magic?" She suggested, "You wouldn't mind telling me where I am, would you?"

"You're in a hospital."

"Kinda figured. I meant the space ship."

"We were on Victor's private space station observing the cosmic rays when it went awry and rendered us unconscious." Sue said.

"Okay, good, good." _Sheesh, this is exactly like the movie. In fact, I think that's Ioan Gruffudd, _"So how'd I get here?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

"Oh. Okay. I think I have an idea of how I winded up in here." _Although I'm not exactly sure why I ended up here of all places. Bellabitch is gonna get it._

"Really? How so?"

"Uh, my best friend's ex-fiancee and her brother got really mad at him so they tried to kill 'em, but me and my other friend saved him, but in the process I got zapped with some weird.. _transportin' _device."

"And somehow you ended up on the ship?"

"Yeah." She nodded her head eagerly. Reality finally sunk in on her and her eyes widened. _Oh god, oh god, I'm in a movie! Okay, breathe, breathe, what would Logan do? I mean, other then dice up half the hospital._ (1)_  
_

"Relax. What's wrong?" Reed said, walking towards her just as a young man wearing only a pink snow jacket. She stopped wigging out to see him come in.

"So this is the mysterious girl?" He said. _Eep, it's the Human Torch, teenage squeal, _"She's hot." He smirked at her and she immediately rolled her eyes, _Oh god, it's the older version of Gambit. I'm EIGHTEEN! Pervert!_

_Ha, playing hard to get. I'll have fun with this one_. He thought, eyeing the girl's curves.

She noticed Johnny staring at her with a smirk and rolled her eyes for the second time in five seconds, _Oh god, I'm going to have to go through the four-step program... again._

_Step 1: Don't act affected by him flirting with you constantly. Hopefully he'll take the hint when you hit him with a sarcastic remark everytime he makes a move on you and he'll leave you alone._

_Step 2: After about a week, pretend you have a crush on the cutest random boy. Hopefully someone related to him. If random boy actually wants to go out with you, or confronts you with said crush, switch men and find someone new (trust me, it wasn't fun acting all starry eyed with Henri and having Merci breathing down your neck. Luckily I explained to her the situation and she suggested Lapin.)_

_Step 3: If that still doesn't work and he's even more determined to win you over, make his life a living hell. Insults and pranks will do the trick._

_Step 4: If he _still _doesn't get the picture, scream, yell, and stuff the message into his thick skull._

_Overall the process should take about three weeks._

"My eyes are up _here_, boy." She glared at him and he smirked, clearly not getting the disgust.

"Yah'll have some water? I'm a little thirsty." She asked, ignoring the hothead.

"Of course." Reed picked up a glass of water and handed it to her. When she grabbed it, though, she accidentally dropped it just for the sake of dropping it. The water started to spill until it froze in midair, the area around it soon growing fuzzy and gray. _That's not normal_, she thought.

"Wow." Johnny said.

"Johnny, what are you _wearing_?" Sue asked, getting a good look at her brother.

"Oh!" He said as if he just remembered, "I was snowboarding, and then I just went off a hill!"

"And that had you lose all your clothes?"

"No no no, I mean yes, well, sort of! I mean, when I jumped off I was completely covered in fire! And I don't mean sort of, I mean _completely_!"

"So we all have powers?" Reed asked.

"Guess so." Sue replied.

They all exchanged a look before saying one name, "Ben." and running off. Kira, who watched the movie, knew what happened and figured she had a few to spare before they went after him in the taxi cab.

She looked around her and spotted her X uniform, knee high combat boots, arm warmers, and... Gambit's trenchcoat? Must have taken the fall with her. _Kinda funny, _she thought, _the one day I lose my leather jacket, I get Gambit's trenchcoat. _(2)_  
_

She picked up her uniform and squinted, examining the damage. It looked pretty much the same. Her gray three-inch-black-trim tube top still had the white flame going up the right side of her waist with three scratch marks on the opposite side, with matching spandex pants with a faded white flame on her left side up to her waist with five claw marks on her right thigh. Next, she picked up her black arm warmers with the flames from the fist up for inspection. Mint condition. Her black choker, black four inch belt, knee high buckled boots, all still intact.

She put on all the clothes, including the Cajun's trenchcoat, and looked at her reflection in the mirror.

"Argh!" She screamed, loudly. The chipper nurse ran in, a smile still on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"M-my hair!"

"What about your hair?"

"'S burnt." The bottom right side of her hair was burnt off, hanging past her chin a couple inches, the burnt pieces scratching her shoulders. Yeah, her eyes were freaky too, now glowing a brighter and the blue a tone lighter (how come the fantastic.. three didn't notice THAT?), but.. but... her hair was burnt!

"Oh, if you trimmed the burnt part off a bit it would be, like, beautiful bangs! It would hang in your eye and you'd be just like all those movie stars!"

"Uh huh... I'm gonna go now."

"Nope, I have to take your temperature." She pushed her on the hospital bed and shoved the thermometer in her mouth, "98.6, perfect!"

"What? Perfect?" _Yeah, you're three hundred degrees off, lady! That's not perfect! 350.4 is perfect! What the hell is wrong with me! _See, whenever she powered up, her hands would glow a blinding white, and that blinding white would glow to about 300 degrees. And this energy and heat couldn't just come from out of nowhere, so most of it was bottled up inside her, making her temperature increase, by a lot. And since she couldn't just melt her hands off when she used her powers, she was fire-proof. That didn't mean it didn't hurt, though, it just didn't permanently damage her.

She even had a theory for why her powers didn't work for long periods of time, seeing as she has a limited amount of energy and whenever she uses a certain percentage of it her brain hurts from lack of said energy and she's unable to use her powers until she's charged up again.

"Yup. You can go now. Bye!" The nurse said, practically shoving her out the hospital door.

Kira, glancing backwards at the nurse, brushed imaginary dust off her shoulders and headed in the direction she thought was Ben's hospital room.

(1) A quote from Evo Kitty. I think the name of the episode was "Rogue Recruit"

(2) Okay, play along with me people. I have this backup fic I'm working on about her past and all, since most of you are all like 'Who the hell is she?' I do have an explanation, surprisingly. She didn't just pop up out of nowhere... In my Evo universe. And she does have a leather jacket. A black biker one. Because she's cool.

Author's Note: I've reposted this chapter, for those of you who didn't notice. I thought it was, I don't know, crappy? Not my best writing. So I changed around a couple details and added a few stuff.


	3. Cute Little Bee Boxers

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Fantastic Four. Or the X-Men._

By the time Kira arrived at the hallway where Reed, Johnny, and Sue were all gathered, after getting lost only twice, she rolled her eyes, wondering why they weren't going after him yet.

"Aren't we going to go after the guy? He's at the Brooklyn Bridge." She said, shocking all three of them.

"How do you know?" Johnny asked skeptically.

"How can you create fire?" He contemplated that for a second.

"I see your point. Let's go." Turning around, he started walking before her voice interrupted him.

"You might wanna change first."

"Oh, yeah." He ran away the best he could with a pink ski jacket tied around his waist.

* * *

The four were in a cab on Brooklyn Bridge where Ben was, stuck in traffic. When the four them got in a cab, the driver was surprised to see her, to say the least. Johnny put an arm on her shoulder, which she immediately shrugged off, saying she was at a costume party, explaining the spandex.

"What's the hold up?" Sue asked. Without answering Reed stuck his head out the window and stretched his neck out past the window. The driver was really scared now. He sprang back and said "Ben."

The four of them ran outside and ran to the end of the traffic jam.

For some reason, Sue had to strip down, Johnny claimed he was going to have therapy, Sue went invisible and somehow just doing that got us on the other side of the yellow tape where the catastrophe was. Really, she thought it was just so the horny viewers of the movie could get a free show from a famous attractive actress, common sense be damned.

There were fires, explosions, screaming, it was an absolute mess. _Not as bad as the whole Sentinel fiasco, _Kira shrugged. The four of the original Fantastic Four began helping people, when it was Ben's fault in the first place, as Kira calmly walked towards the fire.

Usually St. John was the one either putting out the fires or making them even bigger, but for some reason it just called to her. She touched it with the tip of her fingers and it froze before turning gray and flickering faster then ever, slowly dying down, leaving the burnt cars and a major headache behind.

"That's freaky." Johnny said to her, earning a glare in response.

And now they were the Fantastic Five.

* * *

By the time they were all at the Baxter Building, Dr. Doom had already come and gone with the whole light flickery crap. Apparently everyone already had all their luggage here or something. Who was she to doubt a movie?  
So, with lack of anything better to do, she decided to introduce herself to the Thing. 

"Heyah Mister!"

He grunted in response.

"Where'd you come from anyway?"

"I was teleported onto the ship." Ben shrugged, thinking there were stranger things happening, "I'm Kira."

"Ben."

He glared at her, or atleast she thought he glared at her when he was really just staring at her, and she gave him an innocent smile before skipping off the the bathroom and rummaging through the medicine cabinet, eventually finding a thermometer.

She put the protective plastic cover on and stuck it in her mouth, waiting for the small beep. 125.3, _Better, but not quite 300, _she thought before walking towards Johnny's room.

"Hello Hothead." Kira smiled, walking into the room. She opened up his drawers despite his protests and stole a quarter of his entire clothes before walking back out, him following.

"Hey! What was that for!"

After dumping the clothes on her temporary bed, she took a deep breath and turned around.

"While we were still in that tent after the bridge fiasco, I bummed a call off one of the police officers and tried to call home. Turns out, the institute never existed."

She already knew that, but she just wanted to make sure.

"Institute?" He said, looking at her like she was crazy. Ha, if he only knew.

"Yeah. So, like I was saying, my home doesn't exist, my family's gone, my _things_ are gone, and this is the only place I have left."

"What does this have to do with taking my clothes?"

"You think I'm gonna walk around in spandex and a trenchcoat all the time?"

"What about Sue? She'll probably give you some clothes." He said while thinking the spandex wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Thanks, but I'll pass."

"What's so wrong with my sister's clothes?"

"Not really my style. She's all fancy happy scientist lady wearing designer clothing. I'd rather wear guy clothes."

"What about Ben? Doubt he'll be using them. Or Reed? Who cares about him."

"Ben's clothes are too big and Reed is too... scientist. Maybe I'll steal a tie or something."

"But, my _boxers_?"

"But the little bees are so cute!" Kira fake squealed, holding up a pair of black silky boxers with smiley bees all over it. He turned red and snatched them, "Hey, I'm hungry, want something to eat?"

"It's four o'clock."

"So? I have to eat something," Like Kurt, using her powers took up a lot of energy. And she did love Burger Bombs, "I bet there's a Burger King here somewhere. Come on, your treat." She smiled and thought, '_the steps can start tomorrow... after I have food. I'll ruin his life later.'_

_'She's not afraid of gaining weight, she likes fire, she's hot, and she hasn't fallen head over heels over me **yet**. Not to mention she looks good in spandex. She's perfect_,' Johnny thought, following after Kira.

* * *

"Hey, Kira." Sue said as the two walked in. 

"Hi Susie." Kira yawned, suddenly feeling sleepy and leaning on Johnny's arm.

Smirking, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder so she was leaning into his chest. She dozed off for a second before remembering that this _wasn't _her best friend and pushed him away, choosing to smile at Sue instead.

"Since you're living here now, I thought I would pull some strings and get you another uniform so you don't have to dress up in that other uniform that was practically falling apart." Sue smiled warmly and Kira couldn't help but return the gesture.

"Thanks, that's really nice of you." She accepted the uniform with a large grin, "Now I'm part of the group."

**Author's Note**: Yay, more editing!


	4. The Amazing Time Warp

**Disclaimer**: I don't own this stuff

"What are you watching?" Johnny asked, sitting down next to Kira and heating up a bag of popcorn. She was in one of Johnny's smaller shirts and his really baggy denim jeans, staring at the television set.

"X-Men: Evolution." She said, mesmerized by the screen.

It was just like old times, only cartoonized. Ironically, the show where the Alcolytes, X-Men, and the Brotherhood first met each other was showing. She watched as Remy gave Rogue the card that blew up. Ha, he so likes her. She saw herself on the screen, grinning and flipping all around while randomly kicking people. Ah, good times.

"That's nice." He said, grabbing the remote and changing the channel. Kira gave him one of her biggest death glares, making him shrug and offer her popcorn.

"Ooh, motorcycles..." Kira drooled, looking at the tv and absentmindedly chewing on popcorn.

"Hey Kira, you wanna go?" Johnny said, motioning towards the tv. Kira's eyes widened, nodding excitedly.

* * *

Kira stood in the crowd. When Johnny asked if she wanted to go, she thought that she was going to do cool tricks on motorcycles too, but _no, _Johnny had to be a big sexist pig and "forbid" her from going while he burnt up the clothes he was wearing and sort of flew. 

When the reporters approached Johnny, Kira started running over to him, along with thousands of giggling women.

"Johnny..." Kira growled. He gulped, appearing uneasy before collecting himself and grinning widely at her.

"Johnny, I've got to ask you about this outfit." The X Games reporter asked. Kira glared at the girls surrounding him while standing next to Johnny.

"Yeah, it's sorta Armani meets astronaut."

"So what are your superhero names?"

"They call me the Human Torch. Ladies call me torch." Giggling ensued while Kira looked at the girls in disgust, "And this moody thing here is Time Warp." He said, thinking of the movie Kira forced him to watch last night. The disturbing movie. The disturbing cult movie. Curse you, OnDemand.

"I am not Time Warp, nor will I ever be _Time Warp_." Kira said to the camera before turning her glare to Johnny, "My name is Nightshade."

"Fine, fine, this is _Nightshade_." He rolled his eyes and the women around them giggled.

"What about the rest of the team?" The reporter asked as Sue's picture was shown on the huge screen.

"That's the Invisible Girl."

"What about your leader, Reed Richards? I hear you call him Mr. Fantastic. Is it true what they say? That he can expand _any_ part of his anatomy?"

Kira wanted to be anywhere but here. Never did she want to hear anything like that about Reed up close.

"Actually, I've always found him to be a little limp."

She tried not to gag. A picture of Ben showed up on the screen.

"What is that thing?"

"That's it. Just The Thing. You think this is bad, you should have seen him before!" Kira rolled her eyes. It was fun knowing him while it lasted.

"Ben's gonna _kill_ you." Kira sang in his ear, receiving a smirk. She rolled her eyes for the thousandth time that day before turning to the camera, "It's been fun, everyone, but the _Thing_," She directed another glare towards Johnny, "Has a couple words to say to the Human Torch here."

She hated giggling women.

* * *

"Wanna get a bite to eat?" Johnny asked as they both got on his motorcycle, Kira getting on behind him and holding onto the seat. 

"We better get to Reed. They're probably pissed off enough as it is." Kira shrugged, "That and I'm not interested."

"Come on, just one date." Johnny said, leaning uncomfortably close to her, seeing as they were on a motorcycle... while he was driving.

"Focus on the road, Hot Head!" She slapped the back of his shoulder before settling down again, "Y'know that all sexual activity between the two of us is sick, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're like, 25, right?"

"Twenty two."

"Uh huh. So that makes you, what, four years older then me?"

"You're eighteen?"

"Yes..."

"You look older."

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"I meant that in a good way! Are you sure?"

"You think I don't know my own age?"

"I don't know, the doctor said you had a pretty big bruise on your head." Kira frowned and touched her head.

"Really? It doesn't hurt now."

"Strange. Maybe you have some weird healing power."

"Nah, Reed did some testing and he didn't say anything about a healing factor. Something about bending time and space, as if I already didn't know that." Johnny frowned but said nothing, driving his motorcycle instead.

* * *

They both arrived at the hotel and Sue immediately started yelling at John, Kira slipping past unnoticed. Ha, big sisters. _Good thing Gambit isn't here_, she thought to herself, skipping back to her room, _He acts more like a big brother then a best friend._

Kira knew that she should probably be worrying about getting home. She also knew that she should be missing everybody. But she did know in some way that even after staying here for a day or two she was still in shock. Maybe when that wore off she would start worrying.

But one thing she did know that there was a secret stash of apple juice in her portable fridge that she got for free when she stopped a theft in OSH. The fridge, not the juice. Ah, the joys of cold apple juice and plastic cups.

When she finished her cold beverage she smashed the cup against her forehead and threw it in the trash, laying down on her bed and passing out.

**Author's Note:** Yes, I edited this. Because I want her to be older than sixteen. Why? Cause I said so. I'm actually going to be editing alot of this story, because I have deemed it kind of sucky.


	5. Hyperventilating Betty Boop

**Disclaimer:** I don't own this. Only Kira.

Kira woke up and looked around her room, noticing the lack of stickers and posters. _This doesn't look like Mutant Manor_, she thought to herself.

"Ayah!" She screamed, Reed running in five seconds later.

"What's the matter? Is there an intruder?"

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," She repeated to herself over and over, curling up in the fetal position and rocking herself back and forth.

"Kira, what's wrong?" He asked, putting an arm over the teenager.

"I can't believe it, oh my god, eek." She started breathing loudly, still mouthing words to herself.

"Kira, you're hyperventilating!" Reed said, and if Kira could speak she would say 'No fracking duh!' like any teenager would, "Uh, paper bag, you have a mini fridge? Not helping." He found a paper bag and shoved it over her head. Kira breathed in and out, slowly returning to normal.

"Thanks." She said through the brown paper.

"No problem. What was the matter?" Kira raised an eyebrow. A couple days ago they were attacked by a pink space cloud and received freaky powers, or freaky mutations _of_ their powers, and he was asking what was wrong?

"Just, everything finally seemed to sink in." She said, looking at her hands.

They were still cold, they've _been _cold ever since she arrived in this freaky movie. Then, she thought to herself once more, _what if I'm not really in an alternate universe where the movies are real and in reality I'm stuck in some dreamland, controlled by Mastermind the Monkey?_

_No, the X-Men would've gotten me out b_y _now. And he wouldn't have put me in this movie. Probably some chick flick like How to Lose a Guy in... some amount of days or something like that. He always was a strange fellow._

"Yeah, I'm still getting used to this myself."

Kira nodded and walked out of the bedroom, realizing she was only wearing a black wife beater and gray boxers. She shrugged and headed towards the bathroom, blinking when she saw Johnny in only his boxers brushing his teeth.

Eye twitching, she grabbed his arm and threw him out of the door, toothpaste falling down his chin. She slammed the door shut and proceeded to take a shower.

"_Raindrops keep falling on my head, keep falling. But that doesn't mean that his shoes are too big for his head!" _She sang, forgetting all the words, "_So did me some talking to the sun, and I said I didn't like the way he got things done! Sleeping on the job, raindrops keep falling la la lama! But now I'm free, nothings worrying, meeeee. _Eh, screw this song."

She scanned through all the soaps before finding some girlie shampoo that Sue used. Comparing her shiny smooth hair to Kira's mildly frizzy and dry hair, she immediately grabbed the bottle and squirted some onto her hand before resuming her wonderful singing.

"_You took me home, I drank too much. Cause of you my liver turned to dust, cold rust takes cold, creeping cold pain. Do you understand what I mean?" Cause I sure don't_, Kira thought, "_When you feel my soul drop to the floor, like a hole, like an open bleeding sore. Then you'll have bled like I bled, And you'll have wept as I've wept!_

"_Suck me down, it's time to rock and roll. Let's hit the bar, let's lose control. One false move, you took me home. One false move, you're all alone._

"_What looks so good and feels so nice, I paid the price. I'll cut you out just to hear you scream, get away from, get away from me. Blah blah blah. You, fell upon me, like a plague. Weakness sweet weakness. But I digress, after all this... You're just like all the rest!"_

Deciding she was done with the song and done with her shower, she turned off the water and wrapped a towel around her body. She stood in front of the mirror, just looking at herself.

"I've got a cut." She said to herself, looking at a large scratch on her collar bone. It must have been sometime when she was fighting those assassins. She felt her wet hair and noticed it was feeling smoother, "Yay, it worked." She unlocked the door and stepped out, prancing back into her room and finding more of Johnny's clothes.

She heard a crash, followed by Sue and Reed talking and remembered the two were supposed to be working on her powers more. She visibly cringed at the thought of all the sexual tension between the two and chose to stay inside.. for the rest of the day.

"Ooh, time for my Mango Banana Strawberry Orange Julius!" She took out a large glass pitcher of the smoothie she made yesterday and grabbed a whisk, mixing it all up from when it separated over night. She poured a cup, only scratching the surface of her wonderful drink.

"Doo doo doo, let's look at some maaaagazines." She looked at a stash of magazines she got from various stores and flipped through them, reading every article she saw.

She figured she'd be here all day.

**Late at night...**

"Boo boo, bee doo! I'm Betty Boop, yes I am, I'm also Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Made of plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, ex-plo-sions in the air."

Kira sang softly to herself, making up her own lyrics when she forgot some, flipping another page in her magazine. Pete Wentz jacks off to Pamela Anderson. Strange, but not surprising.

She heard yelling and frowned, hearing Ben's and Reed's voices outside. She reached under her bed and got an mp3 player, making sure her Billy Talent CD was in there before putting on her headphones and blasting the music. Best way to tune out fighting parents, listen to loud music.

The thought of Ben and Reed being a mother and father made her snort. Reed would be the mom, for sure. With that thought in mind, her stomach grumbled and she chewed on some strawberries before falling asleep. Such an eventful day.

* * *

Kira woke up again and was proud to say she wasn't hyperventilating. That, and it was way past morning. 

She groaned and got dressed in the blue Fantastic Four uniform, figuring she'd get in some exercise before falling asleep again. She looked at the alarm clock and blanched.

"Zoh my god, it's so late!" She shrieked, jumping out of the room and screaming again, but not at the time.

"Not really the reaction I was hoping for." Ben said, in all his normal peach skinned glory.

"Aah!" She screamed again, "Who are you!?"

"It's me, Ben."

"Oh yeah." She looked around and saw a cart crushed and fallen over. A sign of a struggle, "What the frocking dude happened?!"

"The machine worked."

"It did?"

"Miss me?" Johnny asked, walking in from the laboratory.

"You were gone?" Kira frowned, "What happened to the cart? Someone have a good freakout?"

"It was Doom." Sue said, Kira just noticing her, "He took Reed."

"Oh." Kira remembered the movie and mentally slapped herself. Of course he did. She saw the movie. Doom powered it with his awesome electrical coolness and then knocked Ben out and kidnapped Reed!

"Heat seeker." Kira said, pointing out the window and ruining Johnny's next line.

"I'm on it." Johnny jumped out the window before Kira could say antidisestablishmentarianism and before Sue could stop him.

"I'll get him." Kira jumped out the window too, before remembering she couldn't fly.

Clenching her eyes shut, she concentrated hard on freezing everything, hoping her theory she thought up two seconds ago would work. Slowly she started slowing down and the air weighed more around her.

Her eyes snapped open and she looked around at the gray world. She kicked her feet as if she was swimming and soared up. Yup, just like swimming. Except you didn't hold your breath.

She saw Johnny being chased by the heat seeker over the body of water. They were inching forward little by little, as if they were on extreme slow motion. _This'll be easy_, she thought to herself, gliding over to the heat seeker and kicking down off of it. As she soared back to the harbor she felt herself getting weaker, the air around her getting lighter. She also noticed she was sinking lower and lower. Just as she was about to reach the harbor the color completely came back and she fell down into dark wetness.

In other words, the water.

"Need a little help?" Johnny asked as he landed safely on the ground.

"Screw you." Kira mumbled from the water, painfully climbing up before collapsing, "I just saved your sorry butt from being blown up, froze time, and went through a zero gravity phase. Not in that order. I'm tired. Bring me to Dr. Doom so we may defeat him." She outstretched her arms and Johnny picked her up bridal style, "Onward, march!" Johnny sighed but started flying anyway, not burning the girl he was carrying at all. Why? How? Who cares?

When they arrived on the scene, the fight was already going on. Dr. Doom was throwing lightening bolts at Sue and Reed, looking a lot like a male metal version of storm.

The two of them and Johnny started attacking him while Kira thought of what she could do to attack him. Ah, freeze him of course. She focused all her energy on him and felt him slow down, the blows having more effect on him. Especially when a man yelled "It's clobbering time!"

Kira lost her focus and turned towards the voice, seeing Ben in all her orange rocky glory.

"Had a bit of a relapse, huh?" Johnny asked, causing Ben to glare at him.

The five of them stood in a line, ready to fight him.

"Sorry to interrupt this little reunion.." Doom was interrupted by Reed ordering Johnny to go supernova while Sue contained the flames around him. She also got this pretty little nosebleed.

After that was done, Reed and Ben worked together to spray Doom with water, Kira outstretching her arms and speeding the process a little and having twice as much water spray towards him. When they were done and the steam was gone, a frozen Doom stood in the middle of the ashes.

"Is he... gone? Vanquished? Frozen to the core?" Kira asked. Reed walked up to him and poked him, shaking his arm.. he didn't move at all.

A crowd of people surrounded them as a group of people wheeled Doom into the back of a truck. Television cameras swarmed them.

"Say something." Kira whispered.

"Well," Reed started out, "I think it's safe to say we are no longer scientists, but superheroes!" Everyone laughed.

"Who's up for a party?" Johnny asked before feeling a lump fall on his shoulder. He looked down to see Kira with her eyes closed, hugging his arm. And she actually knew it was him this time.

"Can I sleep on the yacht?" She mumbled sleepily.

"Sure." Johnny once again picked Kira up, and the picture faded into black and the credits rolled up on the screen. Either that or the chapter ended.


	6. Who Knew Johnny Was a Falsetto?

The day after the party Kira slept through, she walked sleepily into the living room, yawning and picking up the remote. It was Saturday mornings and the WB Kids was showing X-Men Evolution.

She frowned. How come she wasn't in the theme song? Yeah, there's Rogue, Professor X, Kurt, blah blah blah, what about the _cool _people? Her group is so better then those X-Dweebs, even though she's part of them now. And Bucket Head was completely obsessed.

A hand grabbed her remote and changed the channel.

"Never thought you were the one to watch kid shows." Johnny said with a smirk.

"Says the boy who watches Wile E. Coyote? I was reminiscing, dumbass." She scowled, grabbing some popcorn and stuffing it in her mouth.

"Reminiscing?"

"Yeah, this is when me and them were tryin' to steal an ancient relic, but the X-Men screwed that up. Although, they were right in the first place, we _weren't_ supposed to destroy the cute little arachnid."

"You think you're part of the X-Men?"

"I don't think, Storm, I know."

"And I _know _you need to have your head checked."

"What, you don't believe that I was part of the X-Men but I got shot with this weird ray thing that sent me into this dimension?"

"Yeah." Kira ran into her room and got her old uniform, bringing it back.

"You see this piece of spandex?"

"Yeah." She pointed to the television set. Bobby had just frozen St. John's flamethrower in the museum while they were tracking down the artifact for Apocalypse. '_Nice trick, Iceboy. But I can do one better.' _to which he replied, '_It's IceMAN!' _before his ice magically started crumbling down and Kira appeared right in front of him.

_Hey, they didn't put my powers on there! They cut out my time bending! _Kira thought.

"Notice any similarities?"

"I guess, but a cartoon lookalike isn't any proof." She rolled her eyes and grabbed the trenchcoat, holding it up to him, thinking.

'_You,' _She thought, '_Are an idiot._'

"Observe, zeh trenchcoat." She searched through his pockets and found his wallet, plucking through everything. She found twenty dollars, a couple photos, that and, to her horror, a twelve pack of condoms. No credit cards, just a drivers license which she handed over to Johnny, which he read aloud.

"State of Louisiana. Remy Etienne LeBeau, 6"2, 175 lbs., brown eyes, auburn hair, 22 years old. So?"

"Remy, Gambit? Oh, and he's just 20, by the way. Fake ID for the bars. And he's wearing colored contacts." She said, staring at the picture sadly as Remy flashed a grin to the camera that would probably make any girl swoon.

"Kira, the X-Men are a comic book, movie, tv show, they're _not real_. All of this is merely coincidence." She glared and handed him three photos from his wallet.

One was Rogue, Wanda, Laura (X23), and Kira all at the beach. Forge made a collar that negated Rogue's powers (that accidentally broke three hours later thanks to Scott) so she decided to wear a dark green bikini, Wanda was wearing a scarlet tube top style two piece, Laura was wearing a blue halter style one piece, and Kira was wearing a black and white polka dotted string bikini with a large white tee on top, the sleeves going all the way down past her elbows. All four of them were glaring at the camera, or someone next to the camera, all of them covered in sand and water.

The second photo was of Rogue glaring at Remy while he gave her a charming smile, both of them unaware of the camera. Or at least Rogue wasn't. The final picture was of the whole mansion standing outside the Institute.

"You could have had these photos doctored." She glared at him one last time before throwing her communicator at him, at least before she realized something and made a mad grab for it before it even touched him.

"Whoa, what was that about?"

"The comlink! I never even thought- Why didn't I- I'm so stupid!" She ran out of the room and clicked it rapidly saying, "'Lo? Anyone! Can you hear me!?"

"static static_ Kira? Chere, dat you?" _A voice Kira instantly recognized said, fear and relief evident in his voice.

"Remy!? Geez, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice!"

"_Where are y'? Baldy said 'e couldn' find y' on Cerebro, an' dat usually means y' unconscious, or, or, unconscious."_

"I think you already said that, Remy. I don't really know why I'm here, but guess where I am and who I'm with!"

"_Who? Gambit asked Henri t' pull some strings but said deh Assassins don' have y'. Same wit' all Remy's old enemies."_

"Not the Assassins, honey. Bella woulda died the moment I came to. I'm in the _Baxter Building._"

"_Where dat, petit?"_

"You remember that movie I dragged you to awhile ago?"

"_Y' dragged Remy to a lot o' movies, chere._"

"The Fantastic Four."

"_Oh yeah, where y' ogled Chris Evans in spandex?" _She blushed and glanced towards the slammed door.

"I'm in the _Baxter Building, _with the _Fantastic Four_, I just went through the whole movie, Remy. I was even right in the middle of that big cloud in the beginning of the movie."

"_Chere, you sayin' dat Bella's machine made y' wind up in deh middle of a movie?"_

"Yup."

"_Gambit yah big honkin' idiot! Yah been talkin' tah her this whole tahme and yah didn' even tell nobody? Gimme that!_" Screaming and shuffling continued before there was silence, "_Kira? Where the hell are yah and whah did yah make meh-Ah mean the X-Men-worry so much 'bout yah!?_"

"Sorry, Rogue, I didn't realize the communicator would work in alternate dimensions until right now."

"_Alternate dimensions? Have yah been hangin' around Forge lately?"_

"Rogue, I'm serious, that machine the blond girl hit me with zapped me into this Fantastic Four movie!"

"_Yah mean, yo' in the Fantastic Four movie?"_

"You betcha."

"_Tell meh somethin', sugah._"

"Yeah?"

"_Is Chris Fox as hot in real life as he is in the movies_?"

"Hotter."

"_What 'bout Gambit, chere?_" _"Oh shaddup and get the Professor, Gambit." "Never knew y' were so controllin', Roguey. Y' must be wild in-" "Finish that sentence and Apocalypse'll seem lahke a walk in the park compared to meh." "Y' wound meh, mon chere." "Not as much as Ah will if yah don' get outta here!" "Gambit go get deh Professor." "Good."_

"So how's life without me?"

"_Pyro's been a mess. He wouldn't let go of that lighter since you were missing, Remy's been mopin' and lookin' fo' yah, Collossus has been wallowin' in his room fo' awhile, even Kitty can't get him out. Oh, and the Brotherhood heard 'bout yah, seems lahke they have a softspot fo' yah, been refusin' tah leave the institute. Big pain in the bum._"

"I feel your pain."

"_Yah, I bet you do. Oh, Maximoff. Why are you here?" "Hey Roguey, who're you talking to?" "Call meh that and Ah'll kill ya." "Ha, like you'd hurt me." "Fahne, if yah're so confident about that Ah just won't let you talk tah Kira.""What!? Kira? She's alive! Yes!" "Do yah want the communicator or not, Quickie?" "Yes! Hi Kira!"_

"Hey, Pietro. Happy to hear me?"

"_Where are you?_"

"How many people gonna ask me that? I'm in an alternate dimension thing. And it's so _cool._"

"_Ooh! Ooh! Where? Am I there?"_

"Nope. I'm in the Fantastic Four movie."

"_You mean, you were with a blonde spandex clad Jessica Alba, and didn't take me with you?"_

"Shaddup Pietro."

"_Oh, the Professor's back, he knows how tah get yah back. Shove off, Pietro, you'll talk tah her when she gets back. We'll be here in a few."_

"What, all of you are coming here?"

"_Seems like it! I'll see you soon, Kira!"_

"Kay, Pietro!"

Three seconds later they were all in the living room. Or at least that's what Johnny's yell signified.

All, as in Wanda, Lance, Pietro, Blob, Beast, Toad, Rogue, Gambit, John, Piotr, Kitty, Kurt, Scott, Jean, Logan, Storm, and the Professor.

"Wow, someone screams like a girl." Kira mumbled to herself.


	7. Kira Finally Leaves

"Where did they come from!?" Johnny yelled/asked.

"Told you I was part of the X-Men." Kira glared at him and pouted.

"Let me guess, I told you so?"

"You bet."

"_Chere! _Y' don' know how much Gambit b' worryin' bout y'!" He said, enveloping her in a huge hug.

"Actually, I think I do." She said as the others hugged her, or used other signs of affections (Like in Logan's case, a grunt and a nod, and for the Professor, a "welcome back" and a nod)

"So, you're an X-Man."

"Yes."

"The comic is really real."

"Yes."

"And for you everything here is just a movie."

"Yup."

"So if you're an X-Man, what's your codename?"

"Nightshade. Like I said. The cloud messed with my powers though."

"What do you mean, mess up your powers?" Pietro speed talked, rushing up to her and inspected her, "You can't use them anymore? You're rendered completely defenseless in need of a strong man to come protect you?" He said, grinning smugly at her.

"Yeah, if you find one, come and tell me. The space cloud didn't take my powers, it mutated them. I'll get used to it after a few danger room sessions."

"So, you're leaving?" Johnny asked, suddenly seeming sad.

"I guess so. I mean, you've been great and everything, taking me in when I had nowhere else to go, treating me fair despite my overall weirdness," She coughed and muttered something like 'sugar highs', "There aren't any mutant hating protesters or mutants reduced to living in sewers, everything here is so perfect. But I belong with my family."

"Want a tissue?" Wanda asked, raising an eyebrow. Kira glared at her before crossing her arms.

"Ah! How'd they get here! We're under attack!" Reed yelled, running into the room in his uniform, Ben and Sue following. Kira rolled her eyes and stood in front of Todd who he was about to punch, catching the stretchy limb.

"Calm down Richards, they're with me. Fantastic Four, meet the X-Men and Brotherhood hybrid: Gambit, Rogue, Wanda, John, Piotr, Pietro, Kitty, Kurt, Logan, Storm, Professor Xavier, Dr. Hank McCoy, Fred, Todd, Lance, Scott, and Jean."

"The X-Men? Aren't they a fictional show?" Reed asked.

"Not where I'm from." She grinned wolfishly at them. Sue approached her, a small sad smile on her face.

"So I guess this is goodbye?"

"You're good at figuring this stuff out." She said sadly, "It's been great with you guys, but I have to leave." She hugged Sue before turning to Ben.

"Looks like we're not the Fantastic Five anymore."

"Fantastic Four has more of a _ring_ to it. Besides, where I'm from that's your name anyway." She hugged his orange rocky self, "I'll miss you, Ben. I hope you and your girl are happy together." She turned to Reed, ready to hug him, "Try not to explode with all that heavy thinking. Have some fun in life."

She finally stopped on Johnny, "You know, I think I'll miss your arrogant yet childish personality."

"Who wouldn't?" He said, grinning despite it all. After a second he grew serious again and put his hand on the back of her head, kissing her slowly and deeply. The X-Men watched on, shocked, the female population, even Rogue and Wanda, slightly envious. I mean, what other girl has kissed Chris Fox... other than all the one night stands in clubs and bars and his ex's? When the two separated, Kira slightly breathless, Johnny gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Guess it hasn't been three weeks yet." She said, smiling a bit.

"That program doesn't work at all," Wanda said, glaring a bit at Todd, "Atleast not on the idiots who can't seem to get a clue."

"Yah got _that_ raght, sugah." Rogue said, giving Remy a full on death glare which he replied to with a wolfish grin before looking at Kira, confused.

"What program?"

"Let's just say, I don't really have a crush on any of your cousins." She grinned before turning around back to Johnny, "You know, if I wasn't from another dimension and in front of powerful and protective mutants, I would kiss you again." She stated bluntly. Logan, extremely disturbed by that, made the _snikt_ sound we all know and fear, immediately snapping Kira out of whatever trance she was in.

"Like, how come you get to make out with the hottie?" Kitty asked.

Now, Remy wasn't very protective of Kira often, knowing that she'd bury him alive if he'd try to play knight in shining armor. Actually, Rogue would too. _All _of the girls that he's close to would. But he didn't like a boy many years older then her just kissed her. And that this boy was a _player _from a _movie._ They've only known each other for the 2+ hours it took to watch the film!

So, regardless of impending doom and dirt, Remy glared at Johnny before putting a protective arm over Kira.

"C'mon, _chere_, let's go home." Kira raised an eyebrow at Remy before looking back at Johnny.

"I'll visit you sometime in the future if Forge helps me work out the ray gun. If Madonna (Belladonna) can do it, I can too. Sue, I'm _definitely_ coming for the wedding." She added, "Lack of knowledge or not, I'm not gonna miss it for the world."

"Y'know dat guy's older den Gambit, right?"

"So?" Rogue asked, "If Ah could touch Ah'd probably kiss him too." Gambit didn't like that response, tightening his hold on Kira a little more.

"Kira, we have to go in separate groups of about three or four because there's a limit to how many people can travel dimensions at a time." He said, so the author could get away with more plot twists.

"Aye aye, capitan Forge!"

Forge zapped Ororo, Professor Xavier, and Logan and they dissappeared with a large _zoip!_

"Great, now to reprogram this sucker and send off another batch home." He said, talking to himself, before zapping another three.

When it was just him, Remy, Kira, and Rogue, he accidentally pressed two buttons instead of one while zapping the three of them, creating a _zachum! _instead of a _zoip!_. _Odd, _he thought, _Oh well! Time to zap myself!_ He turned the small machine around and zapped himself.

Johnny, with a goofy grin on his face, turned around only to face the angry faces of his friends.

"She's only eighteen!" Sue yelled out, after five seconds of silence.

"And I'm only twenty two. It's not that much of a difference." He shrugged.

"Four years!"

_'Oh great'_ Johnny thought, _'Another lecture._' He reached into his back pocket for his sunglasses, hoping to make it look like he was listening, but really sleeping, only to come up empty, '_She stole my shades! Kira stole my sunglasses!'_

**LINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINELINE**_  
_

Kira, after being _zachum!_ed, opened her eyes slowly, releasing her death grip on Remy's arm. She looked around her, seeing a nice neighborhood surrounding her. Ha, yeah right.

It was a dump. They were in an alley, with dumpsters and stray pieces of garbage. Outside of their alley she saw a random itchy lady with frizzy hair and stretchy pants.. with a tummy pack, a three year old boy in baggy clothes chasing around an old cat, gangs and cops running around everywhere. Kira felt like screaming "A muck, a muck, a muck, a muck!" over and over again. But of course, she was wearing Johnny's cool sunglasses, and had to have the cool image to go with the cool shades.

Obviously dimension traveling has some effect on your mind.

"This can't be happenin'. Ah'm dreamin', aren't Ah Kira?"

"I dunno. Looks pretty real."

"God, Ah'm dreamin'. Please slap me."

"All right." Kira cheered, slapping her on the arm.

"Ouch! Okay, this is still a very painful dream. Slap me again, dreamwoman."

"Okie dokie."

SLAP!

"Gawd, Ah imagined the pain again. Punch me in the arm this tahme."

"Kay."

_PUNCH_.

"Again."

_punch_

"Y'know, I think you're awake."

"No. I'm dreaming."

_PINCH_! And not just a normal pinch, a pinch where you take a little bit of skin in your nails and twist it all around.

"What in carnation was that fo'!" Rogue yelled, clutching her wounded arm.

"You. Are. Not. Dreaming."

"Oh god, where ARE we?!"

"I dunno. Probably in some other movie. It seems really familiar, though. Like some best selling book I've read before."

"What book? WHAT BOOK!?" Rogue yelled, practically strangling Kira.

"I dunno. It wasn't that thick, though, just three quarters of an inch. I remember it was a paperback novel, purple and red print, it had... yellow.. no gold... a mix of both."

"What was the book's name!!"

"I DON'T KNOW! It had a picture of a boy with a red cap on, though. I'm thinking... caveman." Guess what book I'm talking about and I'll give you a non-existant cookie!

"Uh, where Remy be?" He asked, just getting up. Ha, so much for master thief.

"Shut up, Swamp Rat. Can't yah see Ah'm frustrated!?"

"Now's not deh time for pet names, Roguey."

"Listen, you idiotic-"

"OOH! PRETTY!" Kira yelled, spotting a black raven flying. Concentrating so the color would fade away, she carefully walked up a building (think...vampire), careful not to crush any random bricks, she occasionally looked into a window, spotting some random man boiling _shoes_. Seriously...

Reaching the top of the building, time unfroze itself and she reached for the pretty black bird, having it surprisingly land on her finger.

"Aw, it likes me!" Squeed Kira, ignoring Remy and Rogue shouting for her.

"Kira? Where are you?"

"Chere? Don' tell me y' ran away from us already!" Hearing the word 'us', Rogue cringed.

"Oh gawd, KIRA! GET YO' BUTT BACK HERE!"

"Remy hungry. Y' want to get some food?"

"Are you crazy? We're in a movie! With cavemen!" Rogue said, recalling upon Kira's last words.

"Cavemen?" He asked before shaking his head, "Never mind. Remy don' wanna know. He gon' get some food." He walked off, leaving Rogue standing in the alleyway.

"At least that Cajun's gone now." Rogue mumbled to herself, leaning on the dirty wall.

"Y' been missin' this ol' Cajun?" A voice said five minutes later, just as she was resting her eyes.

"Swamp rat! Don't sneak up on meh lahke that!"

"T'ief." He said as if it was all the explanation in the world, "Got y' a twinkie."

"Did ya steal it?" He stayed quiet, choosing just to grin.

"Swamp Rat, we just got here and already you're stealing?"

"Hey, 'least Gambit got y' food, _non_?"

"And yah coulda paid for it with the wads ah cash in yo' pocket!"

"But Remy stole dat money too, don' make a difference."

"Remy, Ah hate tah break this to yah, but you have a stealing problem."

"What do y' mean, _stealin' problem_?"

"As in yo' addicted, just lahke yo' addicted to those death sticks?" She spoke in the 'duh' voice we all know and love.

"Gambit not addicted to stealin', and he's not addicted to cigarettes. He could stop any time he wants t', _mon chere_."

"Oh, please." Kira said, appearing out of nowhere, "Ooh! Wallets!" She said in a voice that told them that she had vast intakes of... sugar. She squealed and grabbed a stolen wallet out of Remy's hand, sitting on the sidewalk and looking through it, just as the cops arrived behind her.

"Halt! Put your hands up where I can see them!"

"Dang." Rogue muttered, "What did yah do, Kira?"

"Oh, yeah, that.. I remember it like it was yesterday."

"It was today, _chere_."

"Oh, maybe that's why I can't remember anything."

"Idiot." Rogue muttered.

"**Ha ha ha**," A voice said in the darkness, unheard by anyone, "**All according to plan."**

**Author's Note:** Yes, I plan on making this a series. Guess what movie inspired from a book they're in now? I'll give you a non-existent cookie. From now on, Kira's going to be a little goofier, though. Embracing her inner child and whatnot. She's also going to pick up a lot of personality traits from _moi_. Which means she's going to be smart... yet really retarded. Tough job, I know.


	8. Enlarged Spoons and Bad 'Yo Mama' Jokes

Hello my fellow multi-celled organisms! Sorry it took me awhile to get this chapter out. School is evil and I've been swamped by random worksheets and essays. So, on with the story!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the X-Men, or the characters in Holes. I just own my original character and create little situations to stick them all in. Don't sue me!

Let's See How the X-Men Are Doing!

Unsheathing his claws always helped keep him in check, the cool of the metal, the burning of his skin as it tore open helped bring him back to his senses, but sometimes the pain wasn't enough and the beast inside him escaped still.

Like right now in the danger room. Angry at the loss of three students (one Cajun he didn't care so much about, but the other two, yeah) and Forge's stupidity, he was currently running his own personal danger room session. Logan's Run. After slicing up another Sabretooth, Omega Red tackled him and he roared angrily.

"Is that bloke still at it?" A passing pyro-kinetic mutant said to the human lighter (Magma)

"He's been in there ever since the three ended up in another dimension." She said in wonder, staring wide eyed at the mutant with huge bulging muscles dripping with sweat.

He nodded, thinking, "Why ya shielas gathered here anyway?"

Half the females in the mansion were gathered in the control room, some with popcorn and others with drool dripping down their chins.

"Why are you just _passing by_ in the control room?" Jubilee asked accusingly, "Huh? Why? Something we don't know!?"

"Sheila, what are you-"

"How could you say something like that John!" She shrieked before he could finish, "I can't believe you! Does Wanda know you're so cruel!? Get out of here!" She faked a sob and he ran out of the control room, afraid of the dramatic girls shouting at him.

"Great acting, Jubilee!" Everyone cheered her and she turned red, bowing to the audience.

"Thanks, I try."

All eyes once again focused in on Logan, squealing as the top of his uniform was torn open.

* * *

"We can't throw them in jail, they're underage!"

Let me, the author, describe the scene before you. Remy, Kira, and Rogue stood before a judge in a minor courtroom, their hands cuffed behind their back and one out of three wearing sunglasses, due to an eye condition.

Rogue reluctantly released a fake name (Marie D'ancanto), Remy stated his full name (Remy Etienne LeBeau). He didn't care, they were in an alternate dimension. And Kira made up a bunch of names Kimberley Anne Bernadette Poupart. French name, pronounced (Poo-par, but mostly referred to as poop-art). They apparently grew up on the streets, without any parents whatsoever. Rogue was seventeen, as was Remy, while Kira was sixteen.

"Stick them in Juvenile Hall." The bailiff replied to the judge.

"Too harsh for a minor crime. Well, Mr. LeBeau can go to Camp Green Lake, but what about those two girls?" The name struck a spark in Kira's mind.

"HOLES!" She shouted out loud.

"Excuse me, Miss Poupart?"

"Rogue and I can go to Camp Green Lake also! We don't mind digging holes every day! It's good for character?" She said as if it was a question.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Can we go? I want sunflower seeds!" The guard leaned towards the judge.

"Are you sure she shouldn't go to an asylum?" If this was an anime, which it wasn't, a big blue teardrop could have been seen sliding down the judge's face.

* * *

"You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at camp green lake." Mr. Sir, please hold in all insane giggles, glared at the three overheated friends clad in ugly orange jumpsuits, a sunflower seed sliding down his esophagus.

"That sounds fun!" Kira shouted.

"This ain't a girl scout camp!"

"Well, obviously, otherwahse it'd have air conditionin' and we wouldn't be here cause we broke the law!" Rogue said, fed up with having to wear orange... orange was evil. At least it covered her, and Remy snuck in her gloves, being a master thief and all. She didn't want to think about where he hid it.

"I'm gonna ignore that since it's ye first day here and ye don't know the rules." Mr. Sir spat, actually being kind toward the Goth seemingly unaffected by the overwhelming temperature. Which was actually predictable, since she was from Mississippi and used to wearing many layers covering her whole body. Kira, however, was red all over from the heat.

"Eurgh, can we goooo now?" She whined, slowly getting used to the temperatures. She wished she was Storm. She's never affected by any weather. She can wear a tank top in winter, just cause she feels like it.

"I'm keeping my eye on you." He growled, glaring at the annoying teenage girl, "This is Mr. Intendants." He said, motioning towards the man standing behind them that no one noticed until right now.

"Hi kids. Remember, my name is three simple words. Pen, dance, key! Pendanski."

"Sure t'ing, Monsieur _Parc-Danser-Touche _(Supposed to mean Pen-Dance-Key in French. Not really sure though.)" The two girls smiled, trying to stop themselves from laughing.

"No, Pendanski." The man said as if talking to a boy victim of mental retardation.

Rogue rolled her eyes.

* * *

"This is Rex, Theodore, Alan, Ricky, Jose, and Zero." Mr. Pendanski led them into a cramped tent and motioned towards six boys sitting there, about to go to bed.

"X-Ray"

"Armpit"

"Squid"

"Zigzag"

"Magnet"

All five replied in order, except for Zero, who remained silent.

"They all have their little nicknames, however I prefer to use the names their parents gave them, the names society will recognize them by. Boys, this is your new tent mates, Kimberly, Remy, and Marie."

"Kira." Kira said, wondering why she went with Kimberly.

"Gambit."

"Rogue."

"They're girls." Zig Zag whispered, "Aliens!"

"Acute paranoia." X-Ray explained.

"Oh..." Kira said, staring strangely at Zig Zag, "Hi! I like your shimmering personality!" She walked happily to where Zig Zag was and linked arms.

"So, let's all sit in a big circle." Mr. Pendanski said, as the others groaned.

"You each are all are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is?" Mr. Pendanski asked the three of them.

"Yeah," Kira said, "Forge."

"Really?" Rogue said, "Cause Ah blame you and whatevah you did to make the cops chase yah. Not tah mention mistah sticky fingers ovah here."

"Y' wound Remy, _chere_. Want t' kiss him all better?"

"Ah'd sooner make out with a slimy frog."

"Don't put Todd down so much." Kira said.

"You're all here because of yourselves, and the mistakes you've made."

"Really? Cause Remy blame Belladonna."

"Oh yeah, lets blame Bellabitch." Snorting from both Rogue and Kira.

"So, Kimberley, what is your future career choice?" He asked, trying to change the topic.

"Well," Kira smirked, "I always wanted to be a stripper." Understanding what she was getting at, Rogue burst into song.

"Ah'm in love with a stripper!" Rogue sang loudly, before laughing uncontrollably, leaving Kira to sing another song. Mostly because Kira didn't remember the rest of the lyrics.

"These chicks don't even know the name of my band! But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands! Cause once I blow they know that I'll be the man, all because I'm the lead singer of my band!"

She coughed and laughed uncontrollably also, leaning on Rogue's back. All of the boys, including Mr. Pendanski, stared at them with wide eyes. Remy was sitting back and tapping his fingers on the floor and whistling like he didn't know those maniacs.

"Um, yes, Marie, what do you want to be?"

"Well, Ah would say a prostitute, but then there's that whole skin condition." Rogue said making Remy go slightly red, her feeling sad for a moment before smirking, "Ah guess Ah'll jus' have tah make do with bein' a dancer."

"Yeah, that seems so fun." Kira smirked.

"Especially those poles."

"And the part where-"

"All right, _chere_, y' bot' tortured Gambit 'nough for today." He said, putting his hand over both of their faces, glad that he was wearing _full on_ gloves instead of the ones with missing fingers. (He doesn't want Rogue to know all the thoughts he's been having about her and her future career choice.)

"Remy! What are you interested in having as a career?" Mr. Pendanski said cheerfully, throwing Remy off guard.

"Uh, well-"

"He'd probably be a gymnast or somethin'." Rogue said, both girls' mouths free.

"Yeah, anyone who's seen him work out knows how flexible he is." Rogue choked on air for a bit as Kira cracked up.

"Y' sure none of y' hit y' head when we landed?" Remy asked, carefully eyeing the two insane girls.

"Yo' mama so stupid she thinks square roots are vegetables." Kira said suddenly to Gambit, causing him to go 'what?'in French.

"Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ." Magnet said, noticing that Gambit wasn't going to reply soon.

"Your mom thinks polygons turn into frogs." She replied, grinning a little bit.

"Yo' mama so fat people jog around her for exercise." Magnet smirked.

"Yo mama so stupid it took her two hours to watch sixty minutes!"

"Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran out with a bowl!"

"Yo ma's so stupid she puts lipstick on her head to make-up her mind!"

"She's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!"

"Yo mama tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!"

"She tripped over a cordless phone!"

"She sold her car for gasoline money!"

"Yo mom bought a solar powered flashlight!"

"Yo' mama thinks a quarterback is a refund!"

Mr. Pendanski looked calmly around the room, shook his head, gave up, and left, the only one noticing being Zero, but nobody noticed him noticing the non-noticeable exit, so they kept on looking at the exchange between Kira and Magnet.

"Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to _everyone_." Magnet replied, doing the 'what now' look all the gangst_ahs_ at school have.

"She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept."

"She took a spoon to the superbowl!"

"She makes Beavis and Butt-head look like Nobel-Prize winners."

"She sits on the TV and watches the couch!"

"She so stupid she thought Boys Men was a _day care _center."

"Yo mama so stupid that she takes notes when she watches the Three stooges."

"Your mama couldn't integrate a nested trig function even if you let her use a computer!"

"Ugh! Stop talkin' already!" Remy said, slightly charging his gloves in anger.

"Oh, _chika_, that last one hurt." Magnet mumbled.

"Look! A distraction!" Kira shouted.

"Where?" All of the males said, looking far off.

"Ha, you're the biggest retard I've ever seen." She laughed, pointing at Remy.

"Look who's talkin', _mon ami_!"

"Ha ha ha! Backfire!" Squid yelled.

"You're mentally challenged!" Kira yelled at Remy.

"Y' belong t' a therapy room for the 'attractively challenged'!"

"Both y'all shut up 'fore Ah drain ya dry!" Safe to say they both shut up, Kira convinced she was in a 'mood' with Remy. She turned around back to Magnet.

"So, Magnet, right?" Nod, "What did you get here for?"

"Stole a dog."

"A dog?"

"Yeah, I woulda gotten away with it, if my pocket didn't start barkin'."

"_Fresca_ (A/N:You know, it's supposed to mean cool in Spanish, but I really don't know if it means cool or not, so pretend it does)"

"Habláis español también? (You speak Spanish?)"

"Si." Kira smirked.

"_Quoi_?" Remy asked, looking from Kira to Magnet. Apparently he didn't know about Kira's multilingualism.

"I'm a girl of many talents, Remy. G'night." She crawled over to one of the many it's-a-bed-but-it's-not's, and fell asleep, not caring who's it was. Thankfully, it was Squids, so it didn't smell too bad. She fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

"She took my bed." Squid pouted, poking the sleeping girl. She growled in her sleep and he jumped back a few feet.

"Then sleep in her's." Rogue said, "Who cares."

Squid shuffled over to the bed they were going to give the new people and fell asleep.

"Men." Rogue rolled her eyes and went to bed too.

"Mmm," Kira mumbled in her sleep, rolling over and curling up into a little ball, "Sliced bread."

* * *

"Listen up," Mr. Sir said, "You're gonna take these-"

"Yeah yeah, I know. We're gonna take the shovel, dig a whole and use our shovels as a measure. The hole has to be as wide as it is deep, the length being as long as the shovel." Kira rolled her eyes. It was dark, she was tired, and she wanted to go to bed.

"I don't like your attitude." He growled before walking away.

"ENLARGED SPOONS!" She shrieked, running over to the wall filled with shovels.

"Uh, _chere_?"

"Yes, Remy?"

"Dat is a _shovel_, _mon ami_, not a spoon."

"No! Everything I know is a lie!" She put her head in her hands and fake sobbed.

"Shut up and get a shovel before Ah throw yah intah one of those holes, She-Hulk." Rogue growled, grabbing a shovel.

"Oh! I'm ready for it, come on bring it!" Kira sang loudly, grabbing a shovel and running after the boys.

"Why am Ah suddenly afraid of what that girl's gonna do?" Rogue asked, slowly walking toward a plain patch of dirt with Remy.

"Cause deh _fille _got her crazy face on?" Remy suggested, clearing away a bit and beginning to dig. He was one of the few people who didn't have any trouble digging their first hole.

Unlike Rogue who had to viciously stab the thing before a bit of dirt came loose.

"Havin' trouble, _cherie?_" Remy smirked as a his hole was already a foot deep.

"Ah'm doin' fahne." She snapped, taking an inch of the dirt and putting it in a small pile. She saw his hole and glared, driving the shovel deep into the ground from frustration and kicking it with her combat boots. Satisfied, she added that dirt to her pile.

"Dang, Gambit," Squid said, looking at his already deep hole from his own moderately sized hole, "How can ya do it so fast? The new kids are always the last ones."

"Gambit's a man of many talents." He sent a flirtatious wink towards Rogue and she rolled her eyes, digging deeper into her hole and sighing.

"When Ah told Kurt Ah wanted tah get away from the Institute, Ah didn't mean it lahke this." She said under her breath.

**Author's Note:** Soo... the chapter is done. I seriously don't know why you're reading this. Are you reading this? Oh yeah, it's the author's note, it might contain important information for future chapters.

I was originally going to make this chapter longer, but then that wouldn't be good because then the whole Hole (oooh, pun) segment would be done with in just one chapter. I'm going to stretch it out as much as I can and make it at the most three chapters, with a bunch of random bits in it that you'll hopefully find funny.


	9. Down Like a Burning Lingerie Store

_DISCLAIMER:_ I own nothing except my OC. Everything else belongs to the rich people with imagination.

The furry monster hid in the shadows, waiting to pounce on it's unsuspecting victim whistling some Jazz tune. The nineteen year old was shoulder deep in his third hole at Camp Green Lake, the ground shining a bright pink and fizzling slightly. The glow went away and he whistled louder, easily shoveling the softened and burnt dirt out of his way, nobody noticing at all.

The creature leaped onto it's shoulder and stared at it, wondering why it chose it's prey so large. Oh yeah, because it was the only one left of it's kind and it would rather eat a two-legged-beast than those dreaded lizards.

Remy, who now was in the habit of charging the dirt once the hole was big enough to make his job easier, felt something small land on his shoulder while just finishing his hole. He turned to look at it, worried some dirt was ruining his good looks, and saw a big furry eight legged arachnid.

He screamed, charged it, and threw it into his hole, causing a massive explosion of spider guts and dirt. Hopefully no one would be checking the holes tonight.

"Holy shishkabob. How can you scream that high? Were you a **soprano** in the choir or somethin'?" Rogue yelled, slipping into his hole since she finished hers already.

"_Rogue.._." He warned.

"Swamp rat, ya now what ya just killed? A _spider!_ Yo' lucky Kira didn' see yah charge that thing!"

"Charge what.." A voice said slowly from above them.

"Oh, 'allo _chere_. Glorious mornin', _hein_?" He scratched the back of his head nervously and slowly inched behind Rogue.

"You... charged... a spider?" Her eye twitched and she felt the homicidal side in her unleashing.

"I's just an eight legged insect, Kira, no need t' get violent."

"You already got _violent_ with that arachnid! Why shouldn't I?"

"_Chere, _what 'bout all deh good times we had together? Y' just gon' t'rough dat all away?"

Kira crossed her arms and sighed sadly.

"I guess not." She kicked a small pebble into his hole and walked towards the Rec Room, the two behind her not seeing the spark in her eyes.

* * *

"But Maaaaags, he killed a _spider_." Kira whined, poking his shoulder as the two stood near a deserted wall. 

"So?" Magnet said, slapping her hand away.

"So? Whaddya mean _so_? That innocent little spider did nothin' but trod in his dirt before he killed it! How would you feel if he made a dog explode into a thousand little bits!"

"That _hombres_ goin' down, chika."

"He's going down like a burning lingerie store," Crazy stares, "Sorry, guess I'll leave similes to the writers, right?" He nodded, "Ooh, I know the perfect way!"

She jumped up and down, hugging the confused boy.

"How?"

"Well, you know those magnetic fingers you're so proud about?" She whispered, leaning close to him.

* * *

"Hey, Gambit," Kira said, shuffling some cards and dealing them amongst all of D Tent, "Wanna play some poker?" 

"Sure." He smirked, sitting down in the large circle and picking up some cards, "Remy never lost a game yet."

"We'll see." Kira snickered evilly.

"Eh, _chere?_ Y' okay?" He asked, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow towards the teenage girl.

"Oh, I said that out loud!?" Magnet rolled his eyes and the game started.

* * *

"Hey, what's that?" Kira had wrapped the top part of her jumpsuit around her waist, exposing her skin tight black tanktop (it had to be if she wore it underneath her spandex uniform). She had just threw her arms up in victory when Squid had noticed the letters written vertically on the inside of her arm. 

"Oh, that?" She said nervously, "Nothing."

"It's not nothing, it looks like words."

"It's a list." Zero murmured.

"Of what?" Rogue asked, noticing the names.

"Of the people I've killed." Kira said darkly.

"Of the foster homes she's been to." Zig Zag said.

And there, for the world to see, were '_Robarge Anderson DaCanto McGee Szonye Fernando Magneto Xavier' _all listed below the other in small, neat handwriting.

"How'd you get it to be a tattoo, though?"

"At one of my families," She pointed to the 'Szonye', "I met this cool little dude who could make pretty words on people," She didn't say he was a mutant since D Tent didn't know what a mutant was, "We hung till my last family." She pointed to Magneto, "He gave me the last tattoo but he didn't come with. He visits sometimes at my newest home and he had the last name written on my arm. 'Fore then I was just writing it on the back of my shoe." She coughed loudly before changing the subject, "Where'd you keep yours?"

"It faded away." She nodded and looked at her cards again, sending a small smirk towards Magnet who was sitting beside Remy.

... PAGE BREAK ...

"Gambit.. didn' win?" He said, looking down at his cards. He was sure that he had a full house. The boys and two girls slowly filtered out of the Rec Room, heading off to bed.

"There's a first time for everything, _hombre_." Magnet patted his arm, thanking god for unnaturally long sleeves.

And Gambit was left alone with his bruised ego.

**Author's Note: **So... I kinda rushed this chapter. That's why there's so many page breaks, I couldn't think of what to put in between to blend it all together.

Yes, Magnet stole cards from Gambit, deh Prince o' T'ieves. I figured he was tired and shocked from the hole spider fiasco, so then he was distracted for once and didn't notice Magnet switching the cards.

I wanna start a new story. Yes, I do. Right now it's called UNTITLED3, mainly because I can't think of any title to put for it. I'll still work on this story, since I have a bunch more random bits saved on my computer. I plan on finishing this story sometime... later. But I'll try to update regularly.


	10. Dodgy's Dodgy Way

"I hear you're looking for something." A dodgy boy with dark brown hair walked up to Kira, casually leaning against the wall in the Rec Room.

"Hey, you're that dodgy fellow who has dodgy ways of getting dodgy things." She said in recognition.

"Yeah, they call me Dodgy." He stated proudly.

"Great. I need a favor."

"For a price."

"What.. price?" She asked, backing up slightly.

"I'm a guy, Mouse." Even in alternate dimensions, people called her animal names, "And not many girls come into Camp Green Lake." She nodded slowly, not liking where this conversation was going, "And guys miss the girls, especially ones who've been here for two years."

"You're.. you're not gonna.."

"Can you hook me up with that Rogue girl?" He asked, his lips pouting slightly, "Or just get a kiss from her." She held in her laughter and instead just turned a bright red.

"Rogue.. she doesn't really.. date." She stated, "She has this weird skin condition. You wonder why she never touches anyone?" He gave her a questioning look, "I don't really know what happens to her when she touches someone, but I think it has something to do with rashes. It's very painful and I don't think you want to put her through that pain."

He nodded, "Ah, I see. I guess this'll be free of charge. Whatcha need?"

She smirked.

"Remy!"

"What, _petit_?" Remy sighed.

"I have my communicator!"

"Y' mean, y' had a way of getting us back deh whole time, and y' forgot!?"

"Well, I didn't really _forget, _it was out of batteries. I had to get some from Dodgy."

"Where y' been keepin' it?" He asked, referring to the communicator.

"Oh, easy, the one place where Mr. Sir wouldn't be able to find it."

"Where dat?" For a player he wasn't so smart.

"My bra." She said unaffected by Remy's stare as she stuck her hand in her shirt and retrieved her small communicator.

She stuck the batteries into it and immediately it crackled.

"'Ello?" She said into it.

"_Kira!_"

"Hi, Pie."

"_Where are you?_"

"In a Louis Sachar book turned movie."

"_I've been worried sick! Why is it always you who ends up in an alternate dimension!_"

"Well, I-"

"_I can't believe it! You've been prancing about in another movie for weeks and didn't even think to call? What about Gambit or Rogue? Don't they have communicators too?_"

"No, the-"

"_Tell me where you are and I'll have Forge beam us over there._"

"Pietro, let me **say something.**"

"_Hold on Wanda!_"

"Pietro-"

"_Hang on, Wanda wants to talk to you._"

"_Hold on Kitty! Kira?_"

"Hello Wanda."

"_Don't tell me you're stuck in another movie?_"

"Hey, don't blame me!"

"_Hold on, Kitty wants to talk to you._"

"_Kira! Are you all okay?_"

"I'm** fine.**"

"_Hello?_"

"Kitty, I-"

"_Hello!? I can't hear you! You're breaking up!_"

"Kitty-"

"_HELLO?!_"

"_Pass it over, half-pint, your going deaf. Mouse? That you?_" Logan asked, using his own personal nickname for her. Apparently everyone referred to her as a sort of animal.

"Logan, finally someone with some sense."

"_Apparently the reception isn't any good when you're talking between dimensions, kid. Can ya hear me?_"

"I hear you fine. Listen, I just got some batteries from Dodgy but I don't know how good they are."

"_Dodgy?_"

"Yeah, we're in a correctional facility. Camp Green Lake?"

"_What did you do?_"

"Well, it's kind of private..." Weird look from Remy, "Listen, it was either this or Juvy, and I thought I'd rather be here where I dig holes out in the scorching heat and eat slime, risking rape from one of the many boys in the tents, then go to a prison where I do nothing, have air conditioning, eat more slime and still risk being raped from one of the thousands of boys there."

"Logan, did you just snort at me?"

"_Sorry, kid. Couldn't help it. I'll go get the professor for yeh_."

"Thank you."

"_Here's John._"

"Wh-"

"_Sheila! Thought ye went and copped a dog! (Yeah, I totally just made that up. Pyro used to have such an extreme 'so-crazy-it's-not-Australian-anymore' 'American-kiddy-version-of-accent'... accent. Just milking it up for all it's worth)"_

"..." She thought for a second, thinking that she should be used to these sayings by now and wondering if he though she died, "I'm.. fine."

"_Great! Hope the bread hasn't been too stale._" She wondered if he was talking code for something. He liked doing that.

"Um, everyone's fine."

"_Everyone? Sheila, ya referrin' to ya food as a person?_" She went red.

"No no no, although there was that one dude named Cheeto. Just thought that I would reassure you everyone that everyone here is fine and dandy."

"_Ah, I get ya, sheila._"

"I'm just gonna. Be quiet for awhile." She said and he immediately yapped on and on about dogs and yogurt.

Kira sighed and put her hands to her forehead, feeling overheated for some reason. She lifted her hand back off and she was cool again. Frowning, she looked at her hands and blinked in surprise. They were white... strange..

"Hey, Rems.. are my hands supposed to be like this?"

"Not dat Remy knows of." He said, frowning and touching her hand before saying 'uh oh'.

They both blacked out.

Meanwhile, Rogue was in the Wreck Room, currently glaring at everyone within a ten foot radius of her, until she had a strong urge to... hurl. So she scurried out as fast as her extremely long legs could carry her. She was out in 2.63 seconds.

Now, of course, this was only for the author's benefit. She didn't really spew her bits, that was just so no one would see her black out.

**Five minutes later:**

"Great, we're like, here!" Kitty squealed, before wrinkling her nose at the desert temperatures. Then she grinned at the sight of hot sweaty boys digging holes around her.

"Don't get distracted, Half-Pint. We're just taking the kids and then going." Logan said, cursing his enhanced sense of smell.

"I wouldn't mind making a quick pit stop." Tabitha smirked, winking at a few gawking boys who thought they were hallucinating.

"They're not here." Jean said, doing a mental scan of the whole camp.

"What do you mean, they're _not here_?" Wanda dragged out each word, glaring at the red head.

"They were here before," Wolverine said, catching their scent amongst the sweat and rubble, "But their trail just disappears."

"_Disappear?_Whatareyoutalkingabout!?Theycan'tjustdisappear!OnlyElfboycandothat!OrmaybeifIgoreallyfastWolverinecan'tpickupmyscent,buttheydon'thaveanyofthosepowers!"

"Shut UP!" Wanda shouted at her brother, "Slow down so we can understand you!" He took a deep breath, saying the exact thing he said before.

"I said '_Disappear!?_ What are you talking about!? They can't just disappear! Only Elf boy can do that! Or maybe if I go really fast then Wolverine can't pick up my scent, but they don't have any of those powers!"

"We're going back to talk to Chuck. Forge?" Forge, who tampered with the machine to allow everyone to travel at once, pressed a few buttons and they were back at the mansion.

"This is just as I have feared."

"What have y' feared, Chuck?" Logan asked, impatient.

"It seems that Kira's powers have manifested during her stay in the Fantastic Four movie and she is now able to travel through dimensions based on movie productions similar to the device we have retrieved from Ms. Boudreaux."

"Oh." He replied, "So how do we get them back?"

"I don't know, Logan." He sighed dramatically, "I don't know. All we can do now is wait, and hope for the three of them to come back safely, whatever story they may be stuck in."

"So it's all pigeon's fault then, eh?" John asked out loud, forgetting that he was listening in through the door.

"Hothead.." Logan growled menacingly.

Kitty, right beside John, stood frozen. Three people very close to her were in some unknown movie? Well, they were in an unknown movie before, but didn't we just find them? Kitty was in such shock that she didn't realize she was sinking through the floor.

**Author's Note: **Where are they now? Where did Kitty land? And who was that spooky voice laughing evilly a couple chapters back? All will be answered.. Eventually.


	11. Sinjin the Great

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, nothing at all.. except for... THE WORLD!

Kitty closed her eyes as soon as she realized most of her was dangling from the ceiling. Sometimes she really hated her powers. Especially now as she was falling down and screaming.

She felt herself land in someone's arms and shakily opened one eye, seeing brown eyes and dark hair.

"Katzchen, are you well?" Piotr asked to the red faced stammering girl who was trying to ignore the fact that all the blood in her body was slowly but steadily rushing to her cheeks.

"I'm, like, totally okay." She said, mentally slapping herself for sounding like a ditzy teenage girl.

"Oh. I am glad." He said kindly, setting her down on the floor.

"Like, me too." She grinned slightly and blushed.

* * *

Kira, disoriented and confused, stood up from where she was sprawled on the floor and staggered for a second, bumping into a groaning Remy. 

"Shut up." Rogue said from the ground, "I'm trying to open my eyes."

Kira, still swaying, bumped into another boy with brown hair. She tripped on his shoelace (even though it's usually the other way around) and fell into him, her eyes drooping slightly.

"I hate travelling." She mumbled into the boy's shirt.

"Me too. Especially when you're flying and dodging missiles." The brunette stared at the strange girl talking to herself.

"Oh, oh!" She jumped away from him, blushing like mad, "I thought you were one of them!" She pointed to the two dead people beside her.

"No, I'm Pyro." She stared at him, her jaw dropping slightly.

"No... fricking... way." Kira said, amazed. "Sinjin? Is that you?"

"Have we met before? And are you Australian? Because no one says my name like that anymore." He asked, puzzled.

"Wait, y' sayin' dat, _you _are St. John Allerdyce?" Remy said once the world stopped spinning.

"Yes." He answered, growing agitated.

"Doooooooood." Kira compared the boy to the proud Johnny she knew. This was one messed up dimension.

"Wait, John is that crazy pyromaniac that used ta work fo' Magneto with y'all, right? The redhead who tried tah hit on Amara the first day he got at the Institute 'till he realized she was a snob?" Rogue asked.

"Yeah. And apparently he's not Australian anymore. Or a redhead."

"Or crazy neit'er."

"John's not crazy." Kira corrected, "Just a little... eccentric."

"That's the happy 'everythang is fahne with the world' way tah put it, Kira. That boys got _all_ his screws fallin' out of him and hittin' the floor behind his fire-crazed self."

"I'm standing right here." He bluntly stated.

"We know." They all said at once, Kira with a shy smile.

"Hey, John, who are the new recruits?" A girl asked, walking up with a blond boy. The girl would've been passed off as just another girl, if she wasn't covered head to toe and had auburn hair with white stripes framing her face.

"Oh..." Kira said.

"Mah.." Rogue, obviously.

"_Merde_." Maybe not 'God', but it summed things up pretty well.

**MY note: **Yup. I've done it. I've made them meet themselves. Hopefully this chapter isn't too horrible. I've been kind of tired of this story, so the next chapter might take a little longer to put up.


	12. Bets, Long Lost Twins, and Migraines

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own Aaron Stanford. If I did, he would stay in his twenties forever insead of being.. thirty. Oh, and I don't own the X-Men either along with Captain Picard.

"Wow, I guess your hairs not that unusual anymore." The sandy blond haired boy said. Typical boy next door.

"The wonders of bleach." Non-Rogue-Yet-Still-Her said, a Southern accent in her voice but not as noticeable as the gothic Rogue.

"Ex_cuse_ meh?" Real-Rogue-Yet-Not-Really asked angrily, putting one hand on her hip and glaring her icy death glare at other Rogue, "Mah hair is natural, thank ya very much."

"Rogue, meet those people. Those people, meet angry Rogue who you do not want to insult. Ever." Kira said quickly, making cheap introductions to lighten the mood and warn the people she just met at the same time.

"Wait, you're saying that _you're_ Rogue?" Other girl asked.

"Yeah, you got a problem with mah name?" Her icy death glare turned into an extremely icy die-now glare. The other girl attempted one, but was not as good in the menacing factor. Maybe it was the fact she was just wearing some eyeliner and had a nice rosy complexion while _Rogue_was pale, had gothic makeup out the wazoo even after spending weeks out in a washed up lake with no mirrors, and was just scary in general.

"Yeah. _Mah_ name is Rogue."

"Y'know, Rems, I don't think we're in Kansas no more." Kira whispered, staring at their Rogue in fear.

"Kansas, y' bump y' head? We lived in Xavier's." Remy replied, getting a 'are you really that stupid' look

"Did you even watch Wizard of Oz?"

"_Non, _fell asleep the first five minutes."

"The first five minutes is when she said it, genius."

"Y' expect Remy to remember all deh lines in a full five minutes to a movie he don' care 'bout?"

"I expect you to remember one of the most famous lines repeated all the time."

"Oh yeah? When? Gambit don' remember none."

"How should you know if you don't know the lines in the first place?" While those two were fighting, the Rogues were arguing over who was the real Rogue, and the blond boy and John watching from a safe distance.

"Which two do you think will bring out the fists first? The Rogues or that couple over there?" John asked Bobby.

"I think Rogue. Maybe not ours, but that other one scares me."

"I don't know, that other girl looks pretty fired up... and violent."

"Five bucks says Rogue fights first."

"You're on." John answered, the two of them smirking.

"Hey! What's going on here!" A woman with shoulder length white hair said, walking over to where the two pairs were arguing with each other.

She took in the scene in front of her, appearing slightly shocked. Three unrecognizeable people in orange jumpsuits were arguing with both each other and Rogue, looking like they just came out of a correctional facility. Meanwhile, John and Bobby were whispering to each other and pointing at the other four. She blinked.

"Dude, is that Storm?" Kira whispered to their Rogue, all arguing stopping as soon as she entered the room.

"How should Ah know? She has the white hair though."

"You think this is some parallel universe instead of a movie where you're not Gothic and Johnny boy ain't an Aussie? And Storm doesn't seem very in-tune with nature." Kira asked, her Baltimore accent showing through again.

"What are you two talking about?" The Storm lookalike snapped, managing to do something other than blink.

"Yeah, not in tune with nature at all." Rogue commented.

"Sorry, mademoiselle," Remy cut in, "But we just got here and we're kind of..."

"Confuzzled, a bit. We're from an alternate dimension, I'm Kira, this is Gambit, and this is Rogue. I blame Forge, personally. I mean, who on Earth gets everyone else back to the X Mansion, and then has their fingers _slip_ and send us to a Louis Sachar book? It's nuts! Do you know how many holes I had to dig? No? Neither do I-" Remy slapped a hand over Kira's mouth.

"_Chere, _y' ramblin' again."

"Oh, sorry about that. So, are you Storm? You have the white hair."

"Yes. I'm Ororo Monroe. I think you should see the Professor, though. Rogue, if you don't mind? I'm in a hurry." She said, giving a quick smile and not waiting for an answer.

"Well, I'm Rogue." She said sheepishly, "This is John, and this is mah boyfriend, Bobby Drake." She said gesturing towards the blond.

If our beloved Rogue had anything in her mouth, she would have spit it out. So, since she was lacking a drink to spit out at everyone, she settled for just staring wide eyed at them.

"Wait.. Bobby, as in.. _Iceboy_?" She asked in horror.

"Ice_man_." He corrected, agitated.

"You mean, you're dating Mr. Let's-go-freeze-the-bathroom?" Kira asked before cracking up and pointing to the Gothic girl, "Y-y-you're dating Bobby! Ha ha ha! That's, like, w-w-worse than dating _Jamie_! Boy, Sparky (Jubilee) will be mad at y-you!" Rogue didn't share her amusement, "Okay, I'll stop."

"So," Remy clapped his hands together, "Where's ol' baldy?"

John snorted at the nickname but was elbowed painfully in the gut by a certain Rogue who actually knew him.

"Is the layout of the mansion still the same?" Kira asked, looking around the hallway as if that would help her figure it out, "I wonder where my room is? Is Petey here? Eep, we're in an alternate dimension! With us in it!" She clapped her hands together and allowed herself to be dragged away by an unamused Goth.

* * *

"_Come in." _A familiar voice rang through their heads and Rogue opened the door for them, all six walking into Professor Xavier's office. 

"Hi, Professor Xavier." Kira greeted brightly, appearing unfazed by the fact they were meeting a Professor that was essentially the same person but different in so many ways. In alot of ways actually. He was still bald, but he looked so.. different.

"May I ask what you three are doing in my school?" He asked in a kind tone, not probing their minds unless he deemed them a threat.

"Well, I'm Kira, A.K.A. Nightshade, that's Gambit, and this lovely girl you see is Rogue. Now, I know that the girl over there is also known as Rogue, and no, they're not twins seperated at birth and given the same alias." He raised an eyebrow and motioned her to continue, "We, now don't be too shocked when I say this, but-"

"We're from anothah dimension!" Rogue shouted out, sick of Kira and her rambling.

"Another... dimension?" Professor Xavier asked, blinking from the sheer absurdity of it.

"Yeah. This woman who we consider an enemy blasted me with this weird ray that sent me into a movie. Weird, I know." Kira said, nodding in fake understanding, "So I acted out a whole movie with my newly advanced mutation from this big fluffy cloud of ow, and then the X-Men attempted to rescue me."

"Instead," Continued Rogue, "This idiot got his aim messed up and sent all three of us into a different movie."

"Yup. Do you know someone named Forge?" Kira asked, wondering if she could release her frustrations on an innocent mutant.

"I've not had the pleasure of meeting him, no."

"Well, he's this guy from the seventies who got stuck in some weird experiment thing and somehow got free, not aging at all from the thirty years he's been stuck in that thing and turned out to be all smart and whatnot with a magic arm that can turn into a frigging advanced swiss army knife." Kira rambled, knowing they had no clue what she was talking about.

"He's a super-genius." Remy said.

"So he's the idiot."

"Yo' the idiot too." Rogue snapped.

"It's not my fault I couldn't control my glowy hands!" Kira threw her hands into the air, attempting to defend herself.

"Right after y' called deh X-Men, though." Remy shook his head, "Dat's bad timing."

"My temperature must've gone back to normal."

"What's yo' temperature got ta do with anything?" Rogue asked.

"Well, when we first arrived in Holes, I checked my temperature which was at a whopping 88 degrees. I figured since I bent time, I could do a "Hiro" (A/N: from the new hit TV series, "Heroes") and bend space too, try and get us out of there. But that wouldn't work if I wasn't back to my normal temperature, which was around three hundred something." She would've continued if Rogue hadn't slapped a hand over her mouth and sighed.

"Listen, Professor Xavier, we'd love if you could provide for us a room or two fo' a bit while we try an' figure out how to get back home."

"Of course." He nodded, still slightly shocked from having three people from another dimension in his Institute, "Rogue, Bobby, John, if you wouldn't mind having them room with you?"

"Rogue's gonna be her own roomie. This'll be interestin'." Kira smirked as the three reluctantly nodded and left the office.

"Liberty Island was simple compared to how the next few weeks are going to be." Charles rubbed his head, picking up on the hostility between the two Rogues and the amusement from the others.

**Author's Note**: Daaang, I uploaded fast, didn't I. Well, since I have nothing else to say... PEACE!


	13. The Glaring Contest and Metal Man

Disclaimer: I only own Kira.

The six walked out of the office, silence hanging in the air. Kira's eyes shifted back and forth between the glaring Rogue's and spoke suddenly. She didn't like awkward silences.

"We look like escaped prisoners." Kira stated, looking down at their orange jumpsuits.

"Cause we were just in a correctional facility, genius." Rogue shot back, forgetting for a moment the three others in the hallway.

"I wonder where our uniforms are?" Kira wondered before they popped in front of them.

"This is all we have left of Gambit, Rogue, and the little chika." Magnet said sadly, laying down three uniforms they stole from Mr. Sir.

"We'll have to tack it up to the tents or something." Squid said, when all three of the uniforms disappeared.

"The aliens are attacking!" Squid yelled, hiding behind Armpit, and for once they actually believed him.

Rogue, or Marie, Bobby, and John, not used to the strange powers that were Kira, jumped back in shock of the falling uniforms. Actually, everyone jumped back from shock, because Kira's powers never did that before. But hey, this is completely fictional and I, the author, can do anything I want with the story.

"You don't see that everyday." John said and Kira nodded in agreement.

* * *

Kira, Rogue, and Rogue were both sitting on their own individual beds staring, or glaring, at each other. Two beds mysteriously appeared in Rogue's extremely large room so that's why they had their own beds. Why? Because I said so danggit. 

Kira, fed up with the silence, screamed. The two jumped a couple inches off their bed in shock and looked at Kira strangely.

"What the hell was that foh?!" Gothic Rogue exclaimed.

"I hate awkward silences." Was her excuse as she shrugged. A very buff man ran in through the door, covered in some metal. He looked around and saw the three sitting on separate beds, two looking almost identical, and frowned slightly.

"Who screamed?" He asked. Kira, though, was just staring at him in shock.

"Petey?" She asked.

"It's Piotr." He said automatically.

"It really is you!" She exclaimed, jumping at him and hugging him.

"Let the poor boy go." The movie-version of Rogue said, motioning for her to sit back down on her bed.

"Don't tell her what tah do." The other Rogue replied, glaring venomously.

"Ah can say anythin' Ah want."

"Yah sound like a spoiled brat." Kira, who long since let go of Piotr, watched the fight beside him. She was smirking, slightly, always knowing Rogue could never get along with herself, while poor Petey was just confused.

"Bettah than a b**leep** with no fashion sense!" Kira gasped.

"Lahke Ah haven't heard that one befo'!"

"Ah wondah why!?" The pair kept arguing for about five minutes before Peter, overwhelmed with confusino, exploded.

"Both of you shut up!" The both fell silent immediately, "Now, what's going on? And who are you two?"

"Well, I'm Kira, and the other girl is Rogue."

"I know who Rogue is, I meant the other girl."

"Ah _am_ Rogue." Rogue said, glaring.

"Is this another prank or something?" Piotr asked in confusion.

"Ah wish." Anna Paquin muttered.

"Common, ya know you love us." Kira said, waving a hand. She caught Rogue's stare and her smile disappeared, "Okay, maybe you don't love us."

"This is too strange." Collossus shook his head and left the room.

"By Petey!" Kira said, waving dorkily.

"It's Piotr." He replied, leaving.

And once again they were back where they started.

Author's Note: So, extremely short, but it was the only thing I could think of right now. Sorry for taking so long to update, people.


	14. Did It Shrink?

**Disclaimer:** I own naught but Kira. And the strange circumstances I'm putting them in.

Kira woke up to face the bright shining sun, groaning and immediately closing her eyes. She sat up, eyes still clenched shut, and clutched her grumbling stomach while making her way out of the room.

Walking down familiar hallways, she forgot that not only was she in a different version of her mansion altogether, but she slept in a different room. But she was still half awake, so she walked one full staircase down, walked down the hallway for exactly five minutes, and then opened the door supposedly leading to the kitchen, frowning slightly when it smelled more like some boy's room than bacon and eggs.

"Eek!" Kira's eyes snapped open and shrieked when she saw a familiar boy half dressed.

"Sorry!" She squeaked before running for her life.

She sprinted down the hallway and finally to her destination where she _knew _the kitchen was, according the the trio's tour.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god." Kira ran in circles, trying to get the horrendous images out of her head. She knew it was mean, but that was just _awful_. She was sure that if it was anyone else who slept in that room she'd either be giggling or making snide remarks, but that... eep.

"Kira, what the hell is wrong with ya now?"

She froze and slowly turned her head to face her Gothic friend, "Roguey! It was _horrible_!" She cried, throwing her arms around the struggling mutant.

"Let go of meh before Ah drain yah dry!" She yelled and pushed the traumatized mutant off.

"S-sorry. But, oh god, it was, god, it was _terrible_."

"What was terrible?" She asked, extremely confused.

"I-I was walking, and I thought I was back at our mansion so I could walk around with my eyes clothed, but I _couldn't_, you want to know why?" Rogue nodded, "Because the kitchen was in our tour guide's room!"

Rogue let out a loud laugh and Kira pouted.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you had to witness your alter ego's boy toy changing his pants." Rogue laughed even harder, "Is it possible for a boy to shrink from creating all that coldness and ice?"

"Who says he was big in the first place?" She managed to gasp through laughter and Kira let out a small giggle.

"Kitty would know." John's voice said from the opposite side of the rather huge counter and Kira shrieked.

"When'd you get here?"

"Please, Kira. He was heah the whole time. You were just too preoccupied with talkin' about Iceboy's small popsicle tah notice." Kira snorted before thinking of something.

"Wait, why would Kitty know? She ain't getting down and dirty with him, is she?"

"Pfft, everyone knows that they used to be fuck buddies until Drake got it into his head that cheating was _bad_." John said, taking another swig of his root beer.

"Seriously?"

"Would I lie about shit like that?" He asked, smirking slightly at the mutant. Kira blushed slightly, only Rogue being able to tell, and walked over to the cabinets searching for cereal.

"I don't know. Maybe you want to screw with my head."

"Not with your _head._" He said, throwing her a grin before jumping at the sound of Rogue growling.

"No flirting with Kira, got it?" She warned, having a Logan moment.

"You're scary when you growl." He shook his head.

"You haven't seen her angry." Kira sat down with her Special K and jar of honey, scooping a large portion of the sticky substance into her cereral and eating it, smiling happily.

John looked at her weird eating habits, then shook his head, drinking more of his yummy alcohol substitute.

"You think I'm weird?" She scoffed, "You're the one drinking root beer for breakfast."

"Wow, you got over seein' Icecube in all his little glory pretty quick." Rogue commented, slightly proud of her.

"I just forgot!" She whined, covering her poor ears and shutting her eyes.

Rogue just rolled her eyes.


	15. Paralyzed

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Twenty minutes later, they were still sitting in the kitchen, and oddly enough discussing the possibility of a cat flying.

"We never thought humans could fly, and now we have a guy with angel wings!" Kira said, throwing her hands into the air.

"That's because he's a mutant. Only humans carry the X-Gene, not cats." John responded.

"But how _did_ humans get their X-Gene? How do you know that cats can't be mutants?"

"God, ya'll are so stupid!" Rogue stormed out of the kitchen, pushing a stuttering Iceman out of the way in the process. The boy timidly walked into the room, paling when he saw Kira.

She paled too. Yes, horrific images were flooding her mind right now. So she shrieked and ducked beneath the counter.

"Look what you did, Icecube." John complained, "You broke her!"

"She's the one who scarred me for life!" Bobby defended, pointing accusingly at the counter, "She walked into my room!"

"Our room. And it's not like she'd want to see _you_ anyway."

"Nyah!" Kira suddenly screamed, interrupting the argument. Or atleast she thought it was an argument, "I didn't want to go in your room, I thought it was the kitchen, but it wasn't the kitchen! It was something that was very unkitchen-like, and not very appetizing either. I almost didn't want to eat my Special K."

"Who would want to eat cereal with honey anyway?" John muttered.

"Shush, firefly."

So, since this scene was basically over anyway (made fun of Bobby enough for one section) we will now switch to the Rogue!

Rogue was storming off in all her Gothic glory, radiating anger like a candle radiates heat. She ended up in the rec room, by some miracle, and saw Gambit shuffling cards in some dark corner.

Before she could storm back through the door, Remy somehow crossed the entire room and grabbed her elbow, because Remy's just awesome like that.

"Where y' goin', _chere?_" He asked, leading her into the middle of the room where the tons of couches were surrounding the giganitc flat screen plasma awesome television.

"Away from you." She spat, trying to shake free.

"Now, dats not very nice."

Rogue elbowed him in the stomach and he groaned in pain, grabbing her by the stomach and falling onto the couch with him on top of her.

"Oh, th' pain." He moaned.

"Shut up, Cajun, an' get up!" She yelled. He tried to get up, but fell back down on her.

"Mus' be paralyzed." He said, a lazy smirk gracing his features.

"Convenient position." She spat, "Cajun, if you don't get offa meh, Ah swear Ah'm gonna suck you dry." Remy's face was an inch from hers now.

"Remy t'ink he'll take dat chance." Rogue's face was lightly tinged with pink and the spying Kitty giggled before phasing out of the room and facing a girl with red hair and another with a bright green jacket and black hair.

"So who bet for the morning after they arrived?" Kitty asked, pulling out a small black book and flipping through some pages.

True, the trio hadn't came to Mutant High that long ago (as in just one day), but rumors travel fast, and rumor has it that they werr from another dimension. And that the girl with the brown and white hair was another Rogue.

The majority of the female population also thought that Rogue and Gambit (also known as that one hot new guy) would be adorable together. Well, those that weren't pining over him. As in really pining over him.

So, the girl with the green jacket, otherwise known as Jubilee, had twenty dollars handed to her. She did a Gerard Way (from the 'I'm Not Okay' video when he got an F and did the clapping victory fist) and yelled out a loud "Yesh! Now I can buy that cute top I saw the other day!"

Author's Note: So, again, short chapter. Thought I'd get in some Romyness. Sorry it took awhile to update. I didn't edit this much, so if it has some big suckiness to it, lemme know and I'll try and fix it.

I think the "Mus' be paralyzed" thing Remy did was from the comics. I don't remember, though, so assume it was even if it wasn't.


	16. Enter Nightshade

Disclaimer: I only own the words and Kira.

Lunchtime was always one of Kira's favorite times. She got to eat any type of food in the world. There were no limits. She could even have an omellette if she wanted. But as she looked at the practically empty fridge in dismay, she didn't think lunchtime was so great anymore.

"Darn hundreds of kids living in one huge manor." She muttered before slamming the door shut and deciding to bother the first familiar face she saw.

The first face she saw was Pyro himself.

"Hi John."

"It's Pyro." He said absentmindedly, clicking his lighter out of boredom.

"Okay Pyro. How come you bleached your hair?" She asked, tilting her head to the side, "I can see the brown roots."

"I felt like it." He shrugged.

"Wow, this has been a stunning conversation so far. I'm going to bother more people then." She said before walking off, feeling extremely bored.

Mutunts, beware.

* * *

An hour and a half later Rogue was dragging Kira away by the ear. She was pouting while saying 'ow' many times. It's painful when you're being dragged by your cartilage. 

"You bit five people, Kira! Can ya get any mo' stupid?!" Rogue asked, finally arriving at their rooms, "Why the hell would ya do that?"

"I didn't want the werewolves to die out?" She answered weakly.

"Ya an idiot!"

"Thank you?"

When Rogue yelled out in anger, Kira thought it best to run away as fast as she could.

* * *

"Peeeetey! I want the cookie!" A girl with brown layered hair that reached above her shoulders whined to a metal man, weakly lifting her arm towards a cookie jar that was high up into the air thanks to the metal man's hand. 

"Kid, you have to have dinner first." Said muscle metallic man, putting a hand on her shoulder and keeping her an arms distance away.

"I'm seventeen! I don't need people controlling my eating habits!"

"And I don't need you running around the house at top speed with an empty stomach."

"But they're cooooookies."

Kira, passing by, heard the word cookies and her head slowly turned towards the pair.

"Cookies?" She asked, inching over slightly.

"Yeah, I'm going to lock them up until after dinner." Piotr nodded towards the cookie jar slightly before continuing his departure.

"Can I have one?"

"Sorry, Mrs. Munroe told me not to give them to anyone."

"Just one?"

"No."

"But why not?" The other girl asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

"Because Ms. Munroe said so." Piotr ground out.

"But they're cooooooookies." Kira whined.

"God, you sound just like Kira." A passing girl said, sneering at the girl standing next to Kira.

"Good, it'd be bad if I didn't sound like myself." Kira stated before staring at the cookie jar.

"What? I'm Kira." The girl with layered hair said.

"Yay, we have the same names. Can I have a cookie now?"

"I've been trying to get them for half an hour now. Petey just won't give up the goods."

"Seriously, people these days." The both shook their heads in agreement.

"I'm Kira." The girl who didn't change dimensions regularly said.

"Me too."

"You know, I think we're going to be good friends, Kira."

"I think so too, Kira."

"Oh hey, you found your double?" Gothic Rogue asked, walking to the two of us.

"Double, what are you talking about?" The X-Men Evo Kira asked, tilting her head to the side just as the other Kira did the same thing, looking like twins.

"Kira, Ah know ya ain't that clueless. She looks just like yah except fo' the hair." The two looked at each other and Kira squinted.

"Y'know, I think she's kind of right."

"Really?" Movie-verse Kira asked, tilting her head even more with a cat-like motion, "I can't tell."

"I guess, if you squint."

"Idiots." Rogue muttered, walking away.

"Why do I have a double?" Movie-verse Kira said.

"I'm from an alternate dimension." Kira stated and the other Kira nodded, not shocked by this information.

"Yeah, the others have been saying stuff like that. Something about movies and zappy machines. That's why that girl who was just here was Rogue. But she's not the Rogue I'm somewhat aquainted with."

"Yup. And I got swallowed by this big giant cloud of... pink."

"Ooh, was it cotton candy?" She squealed.

"Didn't have time to taste it." She smirked, "But it completely surrounded me, so then I can freeze certain objects, and not just everything."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and it can go backwards and forwards and loop de loop."

"Wow. I wanna do that!"

"If you travel into a movie and get surrounded by a pink space cloud of doom, sure."

"Never mind." She spoke quickly, "Dude, friggin' shoot freak." The two weird girls nodded in agreement, "So you're from a parallel world?"

"Pfft, yeah. Everything's so different, yet in a strange way it's the same. My Rogue's more Gothy, the Professor I know does this weird thing where he turns his hands into a pyramid, and John... eep."

"What's so eep about him?"

"Well, everyone has this weird idea that he's psychotic. I mean, laughing uncontrollably and trying to burn everything in sight isn't crazy!"

Kira nodded in agreement with her other self.

"He sounds alot more fun than the Pyro I know."

"Kira! Are y' pollutin' deh mind of deh young?" Remy asked, walking into the room with a bottle of root beer.

"_Non_." Kimberly squeaked while whispering to Kira, "Who's he?"

"That's Remy LeBeau. He's a conceited jerk, but he's my best friend, so lay off." Kimberly nodded her head.

"And who is dis?" Remy asked, grinning lopsidedly.

"Kira."

"Remy Etienne LeBeau." Remy said, bowing and frowning a bit at Kira. How come she and Rogue were able to find their other selves, but not Remy?

The introduction gave Petey enough time to run away.

Disclaimer: I.. can't think of much else to put in this. I have a bunch of ideas, but they're for other movies, so there'll only be a few chapters left before the trio depart from this movie.


	17. OH MY GOD! She's Nekkid!

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing except my words and Kira

Kira walked around the mansion happily. She was practically a guest in this place she considered her home. She didn't have to go to school, she was free to eat any of the food that might be in the refrigerator, she could bother people and not get in trouble.

The real reason she was happy, though, was that it had been 48 hours since she saw Bobby and.. what God gave him... and she had yet to see another naked person.

She figured she would go to the game room, knowing there wouldn't be any full moons there.

What she didn't figure was that there would be a blue woman with scaley skin and shining red hair standing there, a shocked John standing next to her and a growling Wolverine with his claws unsheathed.

"The cure wore off." Mystique stated, glad to be back in her blue form. She figured that she'd warn the mutants in case there was a future epidemic. That, and she wanted to bring down the soon to be powered up Magneto. Revenge is no fun when the other is just a tired old man. It's better when it's a tired old man who can control all metal.

Kira walked in the door, automatically shrieking, "Oh my god! She's nekkid!" She raised her hands to cover her eye and ran away, bumping into the wall three times before she managed to get through the door.

* * *

Rogue was angry. And confused. Not to mention depressed. Apparently, Mystique had just arrived in the mansion. Not the Mystique she loved to hate, but another Mystique who she could hate all the same. Familiar feelings of hate and betrayal floated around in her mind and she cringed, increasing her pace. She really didn't want to be anywhere near the naked blue woman. 

But since when was lady luck on _her_ side?

**Author's note**: So... just a quick chapter to put off my homework. I thought I'd add some quick drama before I have them zap over to their next... place. Bwa ha ha, you people have noooo clue where I'm going to desert them.


	18. OoOoOh, Mysterious

Disclaimer: RING AROUND THE ROSIE A POCKET FULL OF... POSIES? SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING SOMETHING WE ALL FALL DOWN! I love the Bubonic Plague. Brought around such fantastic things.

Apparently Lady Luck was on her side this time.

Two pairs of hands grabbed the back of her shirt and dragged her into an empty classroom, both giggling in what could only be considered an insane chuckle.

"Kira, whaddya want?" Rogue asked, annoyed, yanking herself free of the psycho time benders, only to see she had her copy with her.

"Nothing." Kira and Kira held hands before giggling one last time and dissappearing, the door shutting close immediately with a few new dents.

"Ah hate time manipulators." Rogue muttered, figuring she'd be stuck for awhile. The mental patients probably put up some trap including glue and cotton candy if she tried to get out.

"Dere not so bad, _cherie."_ A smooth Cajun voice said from behind her.

Whatever the hell happened to Lady Luck?

She groaned and sat down in one of the empty seats, kicking her feet up on the desk, "They locked meh in here with you. They seem pretty bad to me. And now there's two of them."

"Once y' get used t' one of them, two ain't so bad." He shrugged, sitting on teh chair beside her only to be violently pushed up, "Y' like it rough, huh, _chere?_" He smirked, getting another roll of her eyes, "Y' eyes are gon' get stuck dat way"

"At least Ah won' have tah look at you." She bit back, sticking her tongue out childishly.

He chuckled, a deep rumbling in his chest and she sighed.

Maybe she was better off with Mystique.

Author's Note: Ha, you all thought in the beginning of the short chapter Rogue was going to meet up with Mystique, eh? EH? You thought wrong. Or did you? He. Heh heh heh. Damn Language Arts class. They made me read a mystery novel. They should know by now I get a little weird when I read mysteries. I become... mysterious. Oh crap, I'm a dork.


	19. Clamming Up

Disclaimer: I only own my Kiras. Yes, plural. HA HA HA!

Kira was walking around with Kira, smiling happily before a silver Collossus came running towards them.

"Nightshade, Magneto's back and attacking the mansion. Something about us all being blood traitors. We're getting all the kids out of the mansion." Short-haired Kira immediately frowned.

"Should I suit up?" She asked, preparing to fight already.

"No, you're going with the rest of the kids." Her frown deepened, turning into a scowl.

"So by kids, you mean me too?"

"Exactly."

"I'm fighting Magneto."

"No, you're not. Storm told me to get all the kids out of here. That means you too." He said, motioning to the group of small children following him.

"I'm not a kid, Collossus. I'm going to fight Magneto." Long-haired Kira nodded.

"You're not ready for battle. You've hardly been in any DR sessions, you're not prepared."

"Kira's my other half," Kira said, "And I've been training awhile. She can help."

"I have my orders, Nightshade. You're getting out of here."

"Kira?"

"Yes, Kira?"

"Wanna split?"

"Gladly." The two Kira's grabbed hands and froze everything running out to where people seemed to be running from. As in the basketball courts.

There, a frozen Magneto was standing in the middle of thousands of floating metal bits, hatred seen flashing behind his bright red helmet. Kira, the one from the Evolution dimension, gulped uncertainly before the two unfroze everything.

Movie-Kira rushed forward, eager to prove her fighting skills, and began dodging metal bits while the other Kira stayed back, remembering just how scary Magneto was. Age only seemed to make his intimidation more intense.

Kira didn't even noticed the exhausted and flushed Rogue and Remy coming up from behind her, ready for battle in their own uniforms.

"Kira, come on. We've taken down ol' bucket head befo'." Rogue said, taking off one glove.

She broke out of her trance just in time to avoid a broken license plate heading towards her face.

"No, the _X-Men_ have taken down Magneto before. I was working for him, remember?"

"Y' not still afraid of him, are y'?" One glance at him told him all he needed to know, "Okay, y' are."

"Ya can have this fight over in a second. Just freeze him."

She nodded sharply before holding up her hands, trying to get her hands to glow.

She wasn't doing so well in that area.

Author's Note: Oh, yeah does weird collar shirt thing gangsters do and wannabe gangsters/dorky people (guess which category I fall into) imitate, I'm adding so much sort of drama I'll have to change one of the categories to _angst_. Um, yeah, I'm kidding about that. They're getting out of this pretty soon so XP to all you angst readers. You're going to have to wait for, I dunno, my newest creation in the little Documents link that isn't an OC. Yes, it is coming. Eventually. When I can perfect it.


	20. Chere on Crack

"Gambi," Kira whimpered, avoiding a blast of fire sent by Pyro and an angry blue running woman, "I don't like this."

"Den freeze him, _chere_." He replied, throwing some glowing cards towards the mess.

"Don't you think I've tried?" She snapped, "My powers aren't working! Where the hell is Wanda? I need an angry red witch to negate his powers."

In her ranting, she didn't notice her hands glow a bright blinding white until she felt like a thousand needles were poking into her hands and her brain and all three mutants disappeared with a flash.

* * *

"Why don't ya evah warn us, Nightshade?" Rogue groaned, sitting up before realizing they were in a large metal room with a metal round table in the center of the room with a group of strange people in strange clothing staring at them.

"It's like X-Men... dorkified." Kira said, staring at their alternate dimension selves, "I mean, I kinda digged the black leather and Logan's new look, but this new dimension is.. so... Eurgh."

"Is mah hair really that big?" Rogue said, patting her hair. The other Rogue's hair looked like Chere's old hair when it poofed up twice as high as her head, "Oh gawd." She looked at the costume her other self was wearing. She liked green, yeah, but she never thought she'd wear it with yellow stripes, bright knee high yellow boots and a darker green jacket.

"Gambit's wearin' pink." He said, staring at the fuschia and blue armor.

"Your trenchcoat looks more green then brown." Rogue snorted, before realizing that her costume was just as bad.

"Atleast my color scheme isn't messed up." Kira said hopefully. Her hair was still brown, slightly tamer than Rogue's, tumbling past her shoulders in small waves. Her eyes were a pure white, the only other color being her black pupils. Not iris', pupils. She had on a black spandex suit that wrapped around her breasts drawn by horny men with white combat boots that had fancy knee guards complete with a belt and a white jacket similar to Rogue's.

All the other X-Men were wearing bright colors with strange designs and strange colored hair (Logan's hair is blue?!)

"I wanna get out of here." Kira whispered to Remy.

"Who are dey?" The older looking Gambit with the strangely colored trenchcoat said.

"They look kinda familiar, sugah." Rogue winced at the other girl's voice. It was like hers, except higher, it squeaked more, and Rogue would never call Gambit '_sugah' _in a million years.

"That's cause they look like the three of us." Kira stated, "See, red eyes and a trench coat, green eyes and white and brown hair, and brown hair and colorless clothes." She said, pointing to each in turn.

"Hi, I'm Nightshade." Kira said timidly to her alternate self.

"Likewise." The older girl turned to Gambit and Rogue, "Were we cloned by some crazy guy bent on world domination, and there was another mutation in our cells causing us to turn into teenagers with odd clothes?"

"Odd clothes? You all should talk." Kira scoffed, folding her arms underneath her chest, "At least I don't look like I'm wearing hair ripped off from a lion."

"And at least I don't look bald." Kira bit back, not used to seeing people with such flat hair.

"You call that an insult? I'd rather be _bald_ then have hair as big as yours!"

"At least I have hair. You're breaking every fashion code that's ever come into existence!"

"Look who's fricking talking!" She shrieked, "You look like some washed up eighties wannabe Chere on crack!"

"This is the eighties you lunatic!"

"No wonder your clothes are the tackiest skimpy pieces of scrap I've ever seen! I've seen Amazon women cover up more than you!"

Kira, enraged, slapped the teenager. Kira, growling, snapped her head back from the 'just-got-slapped' position and tackled the mutant, yanking at her hair and punching. They rolled around on the ground a lot, causing random cuts and bruises to each other.

"Was this any better then fighting Magneto?" Rogue asked.

"Doubtin' it."

Author's Note: I don't do well when writing drama, so I thought I'd fall back on Monkey Ruler randomness.


	21. Kira and her Numbers

Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING! Bwa ha ha ha ha! I control the force! The fooorce!

Kira was currently being locked inside some nineties remake of the guest rooms in Mutant Manor. It disturbed her, really. At least she wasn't surrounded by "psychadelic" mutants. She wouldn't be able to stand the grooviness.

Kira played back the last hour or so before she was forced into this room and sighed. It wasn't her fault that her alternate self didn't know how to fight for crap. True, she fights well for someone like, well, not to be rude, but Jean Grey. She relied only on her powers until she realized that, hey, this girl who looks a lot like her can freeze time too! Kira sighed out loud. That woman should have learned how to fight dirty. None of that hair pulling catfight stuff.

She smiled, though, when thinking of the damage she inflicted on herself. Well, not herself, but Kira #3. She, herself, was Kira #1, that other Kira that looked just like her was Kira #2, and that Cher wannabe was Kira #3.

Back to the damage. From the mere glimpse she saw of #3 while random mutants were dragging her away, she saw that she messed her up real good. A beginning of a black eye, split lip, and a bleeding nose. And she was rubbing her arm too.

She didn't know how much of a mess she looked since there were no mirrors, but she did know that #3 pulled out some of her hair and that her cheek was burning up.

Eh, she felt worse before.

Author's Note: Bwa ha, a chapter has been posted. An extremely short chapter, but still an update. I think before I said that it was the seventies or something, but I was wrong. WRONG! It's the nineties. Hate my mistake if you want, but they're only a decade into the past. Or more then a decade, I dunno. I'm too stupid to do math right now. dances to music in head  



	22. Kira, 56

There was nothing to do here!

Kira already counted how many dots there were on the ceiling. She miscounted many times. She even marked them all with pen to keep count of the ones she'd already counted. How she reached the ceiling will remain a mystery forever.

Her brain got fuzzy at three thousand four hundred and thirty eight dots on the ceiling. Stupid Kira-like ADD. And she did not really have ADD, thank you.

Kira tried opening the door, yet again.

Locked.

Dammit.

"This is no way for an eighteen year old individual with rights to be treated! I demand freedom! Freedom!"

The door suddenly opened and she looked shocked at the nineties version of an older Kurt Wagner, or a blue mutant with elf ears, yellow eyes, and a demon tail bearing an uncanny resemblance towards the fuzzy dude. Only with less fuzzies. It was strange how they were back in time, yet they were all older... Ironic..

"Give, and it shall be given to you. For whatever measure you deal out to others, it will be dealt to you in return. -Luke, 6:38" He said, smiling and acting like a preacher.

Kira blinked a few times before smiling brightly and shaking the blue man's hands, "Trident Splash tastes yummy, especially the strawberry and lime flavor. -Kira, 5"6"

It was Nightcrawler's time to blink.

He smiled and left, somewhat awkwardly.

Then the fortunate girl was greeted with yet another wonderful visitor. Yes, writing can be filled with sarcasm.

"What do you want #3?" Kira sighed, greeting her double and plopping down on the bed supplied for her.

"Number three? What am I, a clone?" She asked, sitting down on the bed respectfully and trying to seem like the betttter adult. Or the only adult.

"No, now go away or I'm going to kick you with my super.. awesome... wonderful... fists."

"Don't try and start fights with someone wiser and older."

"You're wiser just cause you're older? What a load of crap." Kira #1 sighed, leaning backwards.

"What, I've got more experience then you out in the world." #3 reasoned.

"Please, you've probably lead a sheltered life. I've been out on the streets for years while you've been slaving away to baldy over there. I bet you even know who your parents are."

"Unfortunately." Kira #1's eyes widened significantly and she scrambled closer to her other self.

"Who!?" Kira could finally know who her parents were. They would have the same parents, right? Of course, they're the same people.

"You don't know Sinister?" She asked disbelievingly.

"No, but he sounds pretty.. sinister."

"He is. Trust me, it's better you don't know who he is. You're lucky I even told you who he was. Dr. Nathanial Essex, a bigger bastard then Magneto."

"Just cause you met with a big baddy doesn't make you any wiser." Kira pouted, glaring slightly. Was she anything like #3? She didn't constantly try and sound better then others, did she? She definitely wasn't wise, and neither was #3.

Wise mutants don't get into fist fights with eighteen year old girls and come out looking and feeling worse.

Author's Note: Bwa ha, finally, another edition to the stunning series! Yup, the fic just seems to go on forever. But really, it will come to an end. Eventually. And then it will have a sequel. That I'm already working on. Which is why I'm neglecting the actual story.


	23. Dazzy

Kira lay on her bed, staring at the roof. This time, however, she was surrounded by the only two fellow teenagers that weren't stuck in the nineties. Their minds, that is. They were, literally, stuck in the nineties.

"Maaaan, the author is _tired_." Kira sighed, feeling for the poor author that didn't have much experience writing about nineties X-Men whom she enjoyed laughing at rather than watching.

"_Quoi?" _Remy asked, confused.

"Oh yeah, you people aren't OC's."

"Wha?"

"I feel tingly."

"Oh great, what now?"

"Well, lately I've been noticing that before we go off to another dimension,"

"Who's fault is that?" Rogue muttered, but Kira paid her no mind.

"I get this weird feeling, like my whole body is asleep. The thousand needles poking into skin, sleepiness, no the good one. It goes on for an hour or so before POP! we disappear."

"So ya mean Ah won't have ta listen ta myself callin' everyone sugah?"

"Yup." Kira bounced out of the room, intent on wreaking havoc. Instead, havoc was already wrought. And the author wasn't talking about Cyclops' brother.

A red haired woman was smiling flirtatiously at Scott Summers, the man with the stick up his ass, who was grinning nervously and glancing towards the fuming Jean multiple times. Scott Summers sighed internally, wondering what it was with red heads being so damned attracted to him. He couldn't help it!

"Dazzy?" Kira asked, her eyes wide and twinkling. Right in front of her was Alison Blaire, with short red hair, blue eyes, and a smile that was.. dazzling. She looked different. Really different. But she was Dazzler. Kira had an eye for these things.

"Hey, you a fan?" She asked, surprised when the girl attacked her with a hug.

"Kira, stop tryin' ta strangle innocent mutants!" Said a Southern Goth before dragging the protesting Kira off of the club singer.

"Hi, I'm Kira!" The bright time manipulator exclaimed, smiling brightly a few inches off the floor (Rogue was strong and could lift people from the back of their shirts).

"I'm Alison."

"I know. You look different here than what I remember, but so does everyone else here."

"Wha-?" Kira gave her a two fingered salute (the one actual soldiers did, not the British one) and the two teenagers disappeared in a bright flash.

Author's Note: Bwa ha, they have disappeared yet again. Sigh, they keep getting shorter and shorter. So, updating for the sake of updating, and to get them the hell out of my writer's block! So, where are they? Guess! No seriously, guess, I'm running out of ideas and I'm saving the ones I'm writing tons about for last. Yes, this'll go on forever. As in around five more, maybe? Sort of? Then I can get started on all that sequel and prequel stuff.  



	24. No, I Don't Remember the Titans

"Ooh, lookie." Kira said to the two groaning mutants on the floor. Seriously, you'd think they'd be used to it by now.

"What now?" A Southern voice drawled from the sidewalk before groaning. Ugh, talking bad. Must. Not. Barf.

"We're at a school." She said, observing a very school-like building with the words T. C. Williams in shining bright lights. Actually, they were just engraved into a sign, but it had the same effect in Kira's mind, "Aah! We're a few yards away from T. C. Williams!"

"Is that supposed t' ring a bell?" Remy said, jumping up on his feet and helping his Southern Belle up, who threw away his offered hand and got up on her own.

"Jesus Christ on a bicycle!(1)" Kira gasped, "Don't you people watch heart-moving movies?"

"Heart moving? Ya know who ya talkin' to?" Rogue asked, fine now that the dizzy feeling was gone.

"Hint for all of you, it reflects upon the racial discretion between blacks and whites years ago and includes the Tony the Tiger song (2). And there's a man kiss."

"Ah'm drawing a blank."

"Remember the Titans."

"No, Remy don't." Remy said automatically.

"That's the name of the movie." She sighed. Stupid wise-cracking Cajun.

"That stupid football movie?"

"It wasn't stupid, it had a man kiss and hot guys!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure."

"Reeemy," She whined, "We have to enlist in the school. We _have _to."

"We can't pop up out of nowhere, _petit_." He said slowly.

"What do ya think we just did?" Rogue snapped.

"In deh legal system." He explained, "Here, we don' exist."

"Gambit, you are the master of thieves, the king of deceit. Make us exist."

"Fine, fine."

* * *

Kira was enlisted in the school bearing the name Kira Anderson. Very American. 

She was walking past the protesters with Rogue (who was glaring at everyone who looked at her) and Remy (he was smirking at every female who looked at him) surrounding her, awfully reminded of back home. Only they weren't calling her mutant scum and they were protesting colored students going to this school. Which she was not.

She hated it.

She knew that she, herself, had nothing to worry about. She looked white, though she had no clue where the hell she was from (Kira figured she looked like a mix of Italian and Asian. Maybe she was part of the Mafia), she was dressed sort of like the people from this time (bellbottom jeans and a white off the shoulder tee was all she was willing to go for), she was cool, she was composed.

She was about to scream.

"Hi, I'm new here." Kira said, walking into her assigned classroom. Remy had rented an apartment for them, so the school mailed them their new schedules. Their "parents" were soldiers, maybe, or something that had them not here.

"Welcome, Miss.." The teacher looked down on a clipboard before facing Kira again, "Anderson. There's an empty spot in the back there."

Kira headed over to the end of the classroom and sat in the corner. It was strange how the empty seats were in the _back_. Usually students tried to stay away from the front as much as possible. You might actually learn something.

A fellow student who enjoyed sitting away from education reached a hand over to shake hers.

"Hey, I'm Petey."

"I'm Kira, in case you had hearing problems." She smiled brightly and shook the footbal player's hand. She didn't bother listening to the teacher. After all, she knew lots more about History then they ever would. She was from the future.

"Nah, I hear just fine."

"Good. Wouldn't wanna be talking to someone who's deaf."

* * *

(1) In the movie Ginger Snaps, the two girls, Bridgette and Ginger, take pictures of various death scenarios with lots of blood. On one of those photo shoots, with real blood for once, their parents walk in and the mother shouts "Jesus Christ on a bicycle! I told you girls, no more deaths in the house!" Yup, I cracked up) 

(2) You know, that one game where the Titans all dance and go "Every where we gooo, people wanna knooow, who we aaare, so we tell them. We are Titans!" and you can see Sunshine shaking his little butt

Author's Note: I know it's still short, but my brain hath gone away and currently resides in my math homework.


	25. Sunshine is From CaliFORNia

"End of school, end of school." Kira danced around the hallways, making a fool of herself but not really caring as she did the weird loopy butt-shaking dance that girls were famous for. Famous in the 21st century, though, not 1971. Who knew how those people danced? Better yet, who cares? It'd be like Grease, only with less coordination.

"Great. Lets go home. Wait, none of us have a car!" Rogue was fully prepared to start ranting.

"Stop being so pessimistic, Roguey." Kira said, waving a hand in her direction while still dancing, now doing some moves Tabitha would.

"Don't call meh that."

"Pessimistic or Roguey?"

"Both."

"You know you love me."

"Whatevah, Ah'm walkin' home. Where's the swamp rat?"

"Probably trying tah find you. I'm gonna go hang out at the football field, watch the boys get sweaty, act bored."

"Ah'm gonna get the hell away from anything popular." Rogue replied, sneering in disgust at the others rushing around her.

"Have fun being a social outcast." Kira waved cheerfully.

"Don't Ah always?"

The football players were running in place. Usually it would be very boring, but they had tight white pants, and Kira was behind them all from the bleachers. She wasn't bored at all.

She was ticked off, though, when a shadow of a man blocked her view

"What are you doing here?" A tall man said, looming over her as she laid on the bleachers, her back burning a little from the hot surface. She could get a tan, though.

"I've got nothing better to do so I'm watching practice." She shrugged, staring up at the supposedly intimidating man.

"You're going to be a cheerleader or something?" She stared at him as if he had insulted her on some deep level.

"If anything I'd be the one out on the field rather than one of... those." Shuddering, she stood up and started walking down the bleachers, "Thanks, man. You've now ruined my football watching experience. Why couldn't you drill the giggling teenagers over there behind the fence?" She nodded her head towards the girls staring at the men tackling each other.

"Because they're behind the fence, not on the bleachers. I can't reach them there." She shrugged and waved him off, not even bothering to learn his name.

Seeing a man take off his helmet and expose semi-long blond hair and a face familiar to her, she stared for a second and locked eyes with the football player. Her face was blank for a second before she smiled and walked away, finding some other way to waste her time before heading back to the apartment.

* * *

Second days weren't as fun as the first. You were required to use at least twenty percent of your brain. Kira pouted as she stuffed a math textbook into her locker and started looking for her French notebook they supplied for her. Yeah, she didn't have to buy anything. They gave it her everything she needed. Bwa. Ha. 

A blond young man leaned against the metal and smiled down at the brunette fumbling through her locker. She turned her head, since she makes random glances to either side of her often, and spotted the football player looking at her. She jumped, hit her head on some part of the metal lockers, and blushed uncontrollably.

"Are you okay?" He asked kindly, looking at her in a concerned matter.

"Yeah, I hit my head all the time." She waved off, not knowing how strange that sounded, "Nothing to worry about."

"I'm Ronnie Bass."

"Yeah, Sunshine. People told me about you." From the television. Better yet, Netflix..

"Hopefully good things."

"Where's the fun in that? You're the quarterback, right?" She asked, "So, come to claim dibs on the new girl?"

"Can't a guy just have a friendly conversation with a new student?"

"This is high school, Bass." Raising an eyebrow, she leaned her side onto the locker, staring into his eyes. He was only a few (five) inches taller than her, unlike Remy who was practically worlds (one foot) away.

"Point taken. You still haven't told me your name."

"You mean you only know me as the new kid?"

"Why do you think I'm talking to you?"

"I'm touched. You want to get to know me."

"I'm a nice person. And I still don't know your name."

"Consider it a mystery then. See ya later, Sunshine." She smiled sweetly before turning around and walking off.

* * *

"I see you were talking to Sunshine." A guy around her age said, walking over to her. She had no clue what his name was, but she did know that he was really fat. And that he was from the movie. 

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Don't get your hopes up, doll. He's Californian."

"So what? I know tons of people from Cali."

"No, he's Cali_forn_ian. (Quote from the movie!)"

"I know where he's from, genius."

"Kira, they're callin' him gay." Rogue sighed, appearing from nowhere behind Remy, who also appeared from nowhere. She blinked rapidly, "Fornification, genius."

"Ooooh, so that's what they were talking about (she never got that quote until right now). Really? None of you really believe that, do you?" She asked the two other football players who appeared behind the football camp.

"He kissed Gerry at camp!" A guy said, and the one who was previously talking to her nodded vigorously.

"Probably to mess with your minds. I know I've done that once or twice in my life. Or twenty. My victim was basically the only one complaining about it, especially since I was surrounded by boys at the time.."

The boys, despite their dignity, stared and drooled slightly. Remy's jaw dropped and he started stuttering uncontrollably. Rogue, being the snappy Goth she was, rolled her eyes.

"Swamp Rat wants to know when the hell ya kissed another girl."

"I have a whole other life ya don't know about, Gambi." She giggled, using her nickname for the poor Cajun (It's Bambi, with a G. Oh, I pwn.)

Then she ran away before Remy could speak coherent thoughts. Seriously, he was like an extremely overprotective brother sometimes.

A/N: Thought I'd get in most of the fun stuff. It's sort of long now, yay! It's at least twice as much as the usual short crappy edition. I think I'll have some racism next chapter. I can rant about that sooo much it's sort of funny.


	26. Musings of the Three Amigos

Rogue stalked down the hallways of the current movie she was stuck in. She was making this into a habit, not like she'd care.

She was mad at humans. Not like she wasn't human, but she hated _humans_. They were constantly going through the same cycle over and over, singling out a specific group of their own that was relatively new in their eyes and torturing them. She knew that others were prosecuted in the past, of course, and she was pissed about it, but to have to live through all that.

She would absorb every one of them if she wasn't so concerned about some of their prejudice ideas rubbing off on her.

Rogue heard a snap go off in her mind when a white man, looking very high and mighty, slammed a younger black boy against the lockers.

Stalking over in an angry manner, she tapped the preoccupied man on the shoulder.

She punched him the split second he turned his head.

"What the hell?!"

"Try pickin' on someone who won't have any trouble droppin' ya on yo' fat head."

"You're going down, skunk-head!"

"As if Ah hadn't heard _that_ one befo'."

* * *

Remy swayed through the hallways, musing about his lack of screentime. He had interesting thoughts, he did interesting things.

He smirked charmingly at a red faced giggling girl before continuing on his way.

See? Very interesting.

* * *

Kira eagerly walked down the hallways, thinking about all the famous people she'd come in contact with the past few weeks. Well, some were famous in their own world, others were cons, but they were all famous where she came from! And now she was talking to football players. Really, it was crazy.

A familiar blond walked up to her and she smirked.

Thank you, Belladonna, for making such an unbelievably crappy machine.

Author's Note: Bwa ha, I'm repaying you all by posting two fics on the same day. Yeah, I rock. Sorry for making fun of the Cajun, I just can't help it.


	27. The Author Gives in to her Movie Crush

"Kira." The blond said proudly, looking as if he deserved a cookie. 

"Congratulations, you know my name now. Who told you?" Kira clapped in a mock-happy way and smirked.

"A man can't reveal his sources."

"So, anything to say other then the fact that you know who I am?"

"Yeah, want to go out sometime?" Kira frowned slightly.

"I don't know, California. I mean, you're on the football team, and from what I hear, you're even quarterback. It'd be practically breaking the law if someone like me were to go out with you."

"Someone like you?"

"Wasn't really popular back home." She said, her eyes clouding over with her memories.

"Neither was I."

"And now you're the star of the school. I think I might turn you down just in fear of the jealous girls." Kira smirked, getting back to her usual happy mood.

"You wouldn't break this poor guy's heart, would you?"

"Well, if you put it that way," She said reluctantly, grinning, "I guess I'll accept. Just to save your life."

"Great."

Kira walked away happily, taking a few seconds to realize things. When she turned around to talk to him, though, he was gone. Probably off to gloat about how he hit it off with the new girl. Or to do yoga. Or was it Tai Chi?

Great, she was going on a date at an unknown time in an unknown place when she could disappear any second off to her next _great adventure_.

Fan-bloody-tastic.

* * *

Fists were flying.

Screams were heard.

Rogue was pissed.

Very pissed.

That asshole actually managed to get a hit in! And it actually hurt! Not as if she'd ever admit it. But it felt like a thousand birds were tap dancing on her cheek. Apparently he had no problems hitting girls.

Jack-face.

Right now she was repeatedly punching the boy in the face while pinning him down with the arm she wasn't using and her abnormally strong legs strengthened from multiple danger room sessions. Really, when that boy wasn't hitting anyone, he was pretty weak. Especially when he was up against a pissed off Goth.

The screaming around her was really getting old. It wasn't helping the argument in her head, either. One half of the voices (mainly the X-Men) were telling her to stop it, get a hold of her inner zen, those things, while the other half (former Acolytes, the Brotherhood, Logan, etc.) were rooting her on. It was really confusing. It was like having many extreme multiple personalities... or better yet, a carnival in your mind.

She started punching the boy twice as hard.

"Teacher!" A student screamed and Rogue jumped off of the student, disappearing into the crowd. No matter what time you were in, a kid would always yell 'teacher' when any figure of authority came near (She mentally pictured little caveboys similar to the position she was in now). It was like her own little alarm system.

"Who did this?" An old man asked angrily, looking at the bruised boy groaning on the ground. A scared black boy (the former victim) stared at the scene in shock. Freshman were always so easy to scare, "Well!?"

No one answered. Rumors would spread over the school, but everyone knew better then to actually tell a teacher what happened. Not only would no one every trust them, but then the one who actually started the fight would be after them.

Rogue blended into the shadows as best she could and ran like hell to the apartment.

Author's Note: Two different stories in one day. Do I rock? Yup. So, my creative juices are slowly evaporating for this movie too (Best way to beat writer's block is to do something dramatic to change it. Like have them go to a different movie.) I mean, I didn't even see the whole movie. Only part of it, and then I think I read Wikipedia's summary to get the ending. Which is why the few people the characters I'm in control have conversed with (SUNSHINE) are feeling very OOC.


	28. When Can They Go Home?

Disclaimer: I only own Kira 

"You're going out with a _girl_?" Sunshine and Petey walked down the hallways in their football jerseys, Petey eyes almost popping out of their sockets.

"Who else would I go out with? An alien?" It was funny how his friend overreacted sometimes.

"But, when you, but, first, I thought, _fruitcake_."

"What did you think?"

"Oh no, you're not going to play with my mind again!"

Kira walked down the hallway in all her mutant glory, though none knew she was a mutant, and smiled at the guy she lovingly referred to as Sunshine. And other various names when she felt like it.

"Hey Ronnie." She greeted, grinning at him. She turned to the boy standing beside him and smiled, "Hi Petey. Nice to meet you again." She stuck out her hand and he shook it, smiling in that awkward way, or at least awkward to the author.

"Yeah, it's been awhile since first period, gorgeous."

"Thank you. You're not so bad looking yourself." She smiled sweetly before turning back to the blond Californian, "Sunny, you never told me what time we were going out. You never told me _where _either. You're not really good at this whole dating thing, are you?" She teased, smiling to let him know she meant no offense.

"This is the girl you're going out with?" Petey asked, acting kind of slow.

"How about Saturday?" Sunshine asked, ignoring him.

"That answers one question, how about telling me where we're going? I may not know where anything is in this town but I should still have a vague idea."

"It's a surprise." She shrugged, knowing that was manly language for 'I have no clue, but I'm sure I'll think of something by the time we go out'

"I guess I'll have to wait, then. It was nice meeting you, Petey. I have to annoy Remy now."

Once she was far away, Petey turned to his friend, "Sunny?"

"I saw you with that football player." Said a menacing voice, annoying the bouncing brunette.

"I've been seen with a few football players so far," She said, blinking slightly at the stranger, "Care to specify?"

"Stay away from their kind, new girl." Weird humans and their vague warnings.

"What have you got against guys tossing around dead pigs?"

"I meant the black filth." She slapped him immediately, not caring about who was watching. She could only handle so many vague warnings and insults.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" She practically shrieked, "Their _kind?_ I didn't know they were a different species now! Who do you think is the football coach here? What about Martin Luther King Jr.? What are they!? Monsters!? God, people like you make me sick! They're no different than you or me, you stupid prick face mother freaking jack-off!" The people stared in awe and a little confusion over her insult, but of course her yelled out speech had little effect on their already molded minds filled with prejudice. She looked at the students who eagerly soaked up every insulting word that spewed out of her mouth and sighed.

The only thing they learned was how to curse someone out without saying one bad word. She figured she'd go out in style.

"And you can take your anemic swinging pop music and shove it up your ass!" She shouted before stalking out of school.

"Rough day, Kira?" Remy asked as the fuming teenager slammed the door shut and threw her backpack onto the floor of the cheap house.

"I hate racists!" She screamed loudly, hoping the whole neighborhood heard her. With her lungs, they probably did.

"So do Ah." Rogue replied from the couch, an ice pack on the side of her face, "They can hit as hard as Juggah-naught. (That would be how Rogue says Juggernaut in my mind)"

"You got in a fight with one?"

"Yeh." She huffed, barely spitting out the word from her swollen jaw. Good thing they got off worse in the fight. That would be embarrassing.

"You should put some ice on it." Kira sat down on the ground and breathed deeply.

"Whatcha think Ah'm doin'?" She barked out before wincing slightly.

"Oh, sorry, it's an automatic response." She sighed.

Can they go home now?

Author's Note: You know, I wanted Kira to go out with Sunshine, but I don't actually want them to go on a date. Because I can't think of anything when it comes to this movie unless it has something to do with prejudice and racial discretion. Basically, stuff for me to rant about.

So I'll make them all go away! Ha! Into... Harry Pothead! Because he got... the Sorceror... Stoned! Yeah, I've been into Harry Potter recently. And eventually, when I see POC (Jack Sparrow's father is Keith Richards? GASP!) I'll write down a few pages of the trio in that movie. But will I post it? o.O?

God, I feel so corny today.


	29. Tingly Feelings and the Need for Fish

_You make me feel like dancing_

_Gonna dance the night away_

_You make me feel like dancing_

_Something something dancing_

_WOO!  
_

_Dancing,_

_WOO!  
_

_Dance the night away!_

"Kira, why the hell are you doin' the moonwalk?" Rogue asked, coming up to the dancing girl and feeling very uncomfortable. Stupid fifties/early sixties. Their fashion sense was so messed up, it was only partially funny.

"Because I feel tingly!" She exclaimed, now dancing to the beat of an imaginary disco Lady GaGa song.

"As much as Ah _don't care _about how you feel, especially when Ah'm missin' lunch, what the hell are ya talkin' about?"

"Don't you know?" Kira looked at her with wide eyes, "Tingly feelings means we're getting out of here in," She checked her watch, "Twenty three minutes and forty eight seconds!"

"Excuse me." She walked away, shoved a boy aside and placed her head into his locker, screaming "Yes!" at the top of her lungs. She took a deep breath and turned around with no expression on her face, "Does the Swamp Rat know yet?"

"Yeah, I told him," She looked at her watch again, "Seven minutes and twenty two seconds ago. He's up on the roof blowing up every paper he ever wrote on in school. He doesn't take education very well."

"I'll go help him." She tightened her grip on her backpack and practically ran to the small dingy door that opened up to a staircase leading up to the roof.

"Apparently she doesn't like learning either." Kira said, now just choosing to do a bunch of flips in the middle of the hallway.

* * *

"Hey, swamp rat." Rogue sat down on the edge of the roof a few feet away from the Cajun and smiled brightly, looking a little insane. 

"Hey, _chere_." He replied, taking an old homework assignment and holding it until it started deteriorating in the pink glow. He let it fall down, a loose smile on his face as it exploded.

Rogue chose to just tear up her papers and watch the scattered white flecks float down in the air.

"This place sucks." Rogue said, happy to eventually disappear without a trace.

"Don't Remy know it." All the relatively attractive women were either clingy, thought his hair was stupid (darn bowl cut!), commited, thought_ he_ was stupid, or were so stupid it was only slightly funny.

"The stupid racists." Oh, yeah, them too.

"It'd deh way deh world works, Roguey-"

"It's Rogue."

"Every group o' people gotta be pitted anot'er group of people. Ot'erwise dey ain't united."

"That's stupid."

"Deh X-Men. What's dere purpose?"

"Ta protect the world and the mutants, all that righteous crap."

"Dey're protectin' mutants from humans. Take away deh humans, what would the mutants need protectin' from? Without a common enemy, they'd turn against each other."

"Mutants're already turned against each other."

"_Oui_, but deh Brotherhood's more of a bug than an enemy."

"Toad eats bugs, he ain't a bug." Remy smirked and blew up his math textbook. Consequences be damned.

* * *

"Why are you on your hands?" A soft voice asked. 

Kira turned around using her hands and looked up to face Sunshine, "Oh, this is my dance of hopelessness." She flipped back up to her feet and smiled slightly, "My parents are moving."

"Already? You weren't even here a week."

"Well, you know mercinaries." She said offhandedly, "They always move around and around and around. We're leaving in half an hour."

"Half an hour?"

"Yes. Half an hour. My things are packed," The little things she'd actually be willing to keep that weren't dirtied with the awful fashion sense of the early sixties, "And we're ready to go."

"What about our date?" She smiled sympathetically and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sorry, Sunny. Don't think I can make it from Canada."

"Canada?"

"Yeah. We need the fresh fish for our diseased Uncle Vlad."

Author's Rambles: Bizzare chapter in my mind. I don't really like it that much, but I'll post it anyway.


	30. Twinkling Eyes

After Sunshine had walked away looking a little freaked out and dejected at the same time, Kira did the choir dance (swaying and clapping) and danced to Jesus Walks (by Kanye West) inside her head.

Then her hands started glowing. Apparently twenty minutes had passed with her moonwalking.

Thank god a bathroom was right next to her.

Wow, it was bright. Silver. If she looked up she could see the sky too. The stars looked closer than normal. Oh crap, a meteor just floated by.

"Where the hell am I?" Kira asked, frowning at what really seemed like a spaceship (The pink cloud wasn't getting her this time!), "And where's the psychotic laughter coming from?"

"I am.. Mojo! Programmer of the galaxy!" He said, coming out of the shadows. He was a fat green man with metal hair and a bottom half resembling a metal scorpion.

"Evil or good?" Kira asked, inspecting him.

"What's the difference as long as the shows a hit! You are fantastic! The audience loves you!" He smiled a cheesy grin and gave her a thumbs up.

"What audience?"

"Why, the audience from Gorlox Dimension 5! The machine Belladonna zapped you with was supposed to obliterate you, but with a little tweaking on our part it sent you to the Fantastic Four movie. The ratings hit the roof! And your powers that happened to send you into other movies _just_ as the X-Men are about to get you? Hilarious!"

"You mean, _you're _the reason for everything going wrong here?"

"Wrong? What's wrong with millions of fans!"

"The fact that my life is being messed up! I'm missing out on my life!"

"One sacrifice for the benefit of many!"

"Shut up, she-man." Kira sneered before making a dorky comeback pun that was worthy of Cyclops' stupidity when it came to verbal bantering, "Ratings are in, your show just got cancelled."

Angry, she froze time and flipped over him and a weird big ox man before crunching his scorpion tail. She ran to a safe distance, watching as the sparks flew into the air.

"I don't suppose we can reach an agreement?" He asked weakly before taking out a remote and aiming it at her.

Her hands glowed and she felt the familiar tingling sensation.

"Oh, sh-"

She disappeared.

* * *

"Kira? Where the hell were you? We were stuck here in this whacky shack and you disappeared." At least the enraged voice was familiar.

"I met the guy who-" Her mouth kept moving but stopped suddenly when she realized she wasn't making a sound. She tried screaming, but only heard laughter belonging to the fat wo/man. She sighed resignedly, knowing she wouldn't be able to speak of it and nodded reluctantly, making a small discomforted sound in the back of her throat as her voice came back to her.

"Eh?"

"Never mind," She sighed, "Where are we?"

She looked at her surroundings and became happy again, "We're in Hogwarts! Notice the bright lights, strange devices, moving and talking portraits shouting at us for intruding on Dumbledore's private office, a _pheonix_. We're in Harry Potter!"

"S'dat dat one movie y' dragged Remy t' wit' deh flyin' boys on broomsticks?" He asked coolly, leaning on a bookshelf.

"Swamp rat, we all know ya a closet fan." Rogue sighed.

"Ah, hello." Said an old raspy voice, "I've been expecting you all for some time."

"Oh my god! It's Albus Dumbledore!"

"See, in the beginning of the year, three extra letters were made but with a strange address. There's no Bayville in America, or England for that matter."

"We're magical? Really?" Kira grinned widely.

"You would not be allowed on the grounds if you were muggles. Spells were cast long ago to ensure that. All mutants are wizards and witches, their magic is just focused on one unique gift they can achieve without thought."

"Ah thought it was all about genetics. No magic about anything. And how do you know about mutants anyway?"

"I'm an old man, Miss Rogue, I know many things." His eyes twinkled.

"So y'all gonna let three students ovah seventeen learn spells? Screw magic, Ah ain't gonna be a first year."

"I imagine you won't have any problems beings seventh years?"

"I don't!" Kira shouted before blushing and snapping her mouth shut.

"So we jus' gon' waltz in dere as complete idiots and hope for deh best?"

"No, you are going to waltz in there only moderately clueless to wizarding academics. I hope you don't resent being tutored. You have four months until the new term."

"I don't mind." Kira said again and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"One question, though." Rogue declared, "What's with yo' eyes twinkling?" Seriously, J.K. Rowling talked about it every single book. Was she describing her grandfather or something?

His eyes twinkled.


	31. Swimming and Sorting

**I call this my BS Chapter! Enjoy!**

"Ooh! It's Christmas!" Kira exclaimed, jumping into the Head Boy/Girl's room colored with greens, reds, and the occasional blue.

"I've colored it based on all three of your preferred colors. You will stay here until the beginning of term and you three will be sorted into your respectable houses."

"Cool." Kira collapsed onto a dark blue sofa (there were three, one blue, one green, and one red)

The other two walked in with at least some dignity and thanked the Professor. He smiled, his eyes twinkling, and glided out of the room where the door shut on it's own.

"This is awesome. We're in the Harry Potter books."

"Not the movies?"

"Nope. Otherwise we'd be talking to either the old King Arthur (first Dumbledore) or that old guy who might be abusive."

* * *

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

"Kira."

Swimming, swimming, swimming.

"Kira!"

"Nemo!" Kira shot forward in bed, head butting Rogue in the process, "Ow! Who did that?"

"Just shaddup and get ready, we're startin' our lessons today." Rogue growled, stalking outside into the hallway.

"Ooh!"

"It's win_gardium_ levi_osa."_ The teacher said in a depressed matter, waving his wand and levitating a quill.

"That's what Ah said. Wingardjum Levay-osuh." Rogue snapped, "Don't'cha have ears?"

"Mr. LeBeau," He said desperately, "Why don't you try the spell?"

"Sure, _monsieur _Wizard-man." He smiled charmingly before speaking in a perfect English accent, "Wingardium Leviosa."

And the multi-colored quill flew high into the air.

"How'd ya do that?" Rogue asked, narrowing her eyes, "Yo' accents worse than mahne."

"T'ief."

Rogue rolled her eyes.

Fast forward four months in which all three students have bothered the teachers who were supposed to teach them the basics of magic

Kira danced around in circles, waiting to be called up to the sorting hat. She wondered what they were going to call her up by. She was an orphan, so she didn't really have a last name. They wouldn't say Xavier, would they? That would be embarrassing.

"Blaire, Kira." Kira choked on the air she was breathing and fell into Remy.

"Kira? Ah thought ya didn't have a last name." Rogue frowned.

"I-I don't." She said, her face white as she sat on the stool. It was a while since she heard that, she thought as the hat was placed on her head.

_Hello, Miss Blaire._

**H-hi Mister... Hat.**

_I see you've been travelling._

**Yup. I get to meet the fictional characters I've watched on the big screen and read about.**

_You've got over your fear quickly._

**I'm used to voices in my head.**

_Let's see then, you would do good in Gryffindor. You're very brave. You have a good heart also, that's always needed. Your heart doesn't drive you, though. You tend to calculate everyone's moves, unlike Godric who's bravery blinded him._

**I like to think of what would happen to me before I jump headfirst into a pit of man-eating cockroaches.**

_Yes, Ravenclaw would also suit you, though you don't particularly care for studying. You're intelligent when needed, though._

**There's more important things than studying.**

_Far more than anything, you're sneaky._

**I call it street smarts.**

_Cunning, too._

**A necessary trait for survival.**

_I see ambition deep within you._

**What's living without goals?**

_Very well, I suppose you'll be good in SLYTHERIN!_

"Thank you."

Rogue's eyes widened as the person she thought would get into Hufflepuff walked to the applauding Slytherin table.

"Rogue," The strict woman called, polite enough not to yell out her legal name.

She sat down on the stool and sighed as the hat landed on her head.

_Good evening, Miss Rogue. Or should I say Miss Darkholme?_

**Keep callin' meh that and I'll tear ya apart by the seams.**

_Very well, a hat as old as I know when to keep quiet. I see a quick wit, a good trait for Ravenclaw._

**Ah ain't a bookworm.**

_I see that also. Neither was your friend, although you don't tend to act like it. Your heart isn't the block of ice you've led most to believe._

**At least Ah ain't getting hurt.**

_You have a heart of gold, though. Along with loyalty and a brave desire to help others in need. Looks like you belong in GRYFFINDOR!_

**Great.**

Rogue rolled her eyes.

_Well, well, well. Mr. Lebeau._

**Bonjour, Monsieur... hat.**

_I see you're quite the sneaky one._

**You could see dat just from a greeting?**

_No, from your memories._

**Merci. I'll take dat as a compliment.**

_You care for the people around you, yet you are willing to sacrifice some for others or even yourself._

**It's called survival** Remy's thoughts grew dark as he remembered the "sacrifices" the hat spoke of, **Didn't have a choice in the matter.**

_Cunning, fairly intelligent._

**Fairly?**

_Not to mention arrogant. You're willing to do anything to accomplish your tasks, even if the goal isn't yours._

**Fairly?**

_You'd best be in_ SLYTHERIN!

Remy, a small smirk on his face and his devillish eyes sparkling behind his sunglasses, made his way to the Slytherin table next to Kira who was cheering loudly for him. He just oozed Slytherin vibe.

Never before had the sorting hat been wrong. But as the new students sat at the tables assigned for them, or at least the two girls, all students in Hogwarts had a thought in common for once in their life.

There's a first time for everything.

Though none of the other first years reacted much to having food magically appear in front of them, Kira's gasped and she licked her lips.

A pale blond sneered at her and she shrugged, scooping some mashed potatoes on her plate, "What? I'm hungry." She looked at the pale blond once more and her mind realized something. He was Draco Malfoy.

Damn, how come Tom Felton wasn't that hot? This was the movie version, the one where Tom Felton probably didn't even exist. Where Draco Malfoy had flawless skin, _platinum_ blond hair that was practically silver, stormy gray eyes, a pointed nose, high cheek bones, and all around dreaminess.

Le sigh.

Might as well move on in life.

She was thirsty.

Both the books and the movie said that they had pumpkin juice instead of water or soda in the golden goblets in front of each student, Kira mused, taking a sniff of her drink and deciding it harmless. She took a large gulp. And promptly spit it out behind her, making the famous 'bleh' sound all children are famous for.

"That.." She gasped, "Is the most horrid juice I've ever tasted. It's worse than _prune juice_." Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she surveyed the puddle of juice on the floor.

"_Chere, font vous toujours doivent faire du scandale?_ (Do you always have to make a scene?)" Kira lifted an eyebrow at the people staring at her.

"_Vous me connaissez qui you're parler à? _(Do you know who you're talking to?)"

"Y' right. Remy should know better den t' ask a stupid question like dat."

Kira smiled brightly and turned to a girl who was fairly decent looking apart from the squished nose on her face that resembled a pug. Pansy Parkinson, "Excuse me, I forgot my wand in my luggage. Do you mind transfiguring my juice into something.. not pumpkiny? Like water?"

She sneered and turned away from the mutant, leaving her sad.

"But the pumpkin juice tastes horrible." She pouted.

"Here, _cherie_." Remy took out a small flat silver bottle, otherwise known as a flask, and handed it to her.

She unscrewed it and took a careful sniff, curling her nose slightly when she smelled alcohol.

"Don' worry, Kira," He said in a reassuring way, "Remy has plenty more where dat came from."

She rolled her eyes.

"_Vous vouloir moi à trouver soûle?_ (You want me to get drunk?)"

"_Non_, just givin' y' somet'in' t' drink."

"Some brother figure you are." She said, taking a sip out of the flask before scooping some mashed potatoes onto her plate, "If you were my father you'd be taken in by child services."

"Remy'd be a great father."

"Right." She said, rolling her eyes again.

"Dat a challenge?"

"No, it's not." She said immediately, "You are _not_ impregnating some poor innocent girl just to prove a point," Her eyes rolled over to Rogue, "Either way, you can't touch Rogue."

"Damn you."

"Love me too."


	32. First Impressions

The table was clearing off and all the first years followed the head boy to get into the common rooms, meaning Kira was all alone with only a few students who chose to stay and be fashionably late. Even her Remy left her.

Draco Malfoy was still there, though.

"Boy with blond hair," Kira said, pretending she had no clue who he was, "What's the password for the common rooms?"

"It's not 'he he' you dumbass!" She yelled out, glaring when he just smirked, "Fine, if you won't tell me I guess I'll just have to follow you, Blondie."

"The name is Draco Malfoy."

"I guess I'll call you Dragon, then."

He sighed and started to stalk away as fast as he could without making it too obvious. Obviously he never tried to run away from an X-Man. Or someone who prided herself on ninja being in her blood, if it was possible.

The password was "_putus cruor_", Latin for pure blood.

How original.

* * *

The Slytherin Common room, while decorated with beautiful green and silver velvet and other various trinkets that awed her, it had this aura of, dare she say it, evil. It wasn't like in the Gryffindor Common Rooms, in the movies that is, that appeared warm and cheerful and loud. It was quiet. Evil was quiet.

She was going to change that.

"Whoo!" She exclaimed, jumping on the couch.

Remy looked as embarrassed as a cool Cajun could be.

The first years looked scared.

One girl with shockingly bright purple hair raised an eyebrow.

The rest of the Slytherins looked disturbed.

Rogue stalked to the common room, subtly following a random Gryffindor.

The password was "Kneazle"

Bloody Gryffindors.

She walked through the portrait and shielded her eyes for a moment. It was covered in red furniture and golden decorations, giving the impression of homely warmth.

The students hanging out in the common room immediately spotted her and seemed to shrink back.

She was not going to fit in. At all.

Just the way she liked it.


	33. It's Kira!

Kira hummed happily and kicked her feet back and forth as she sat in Transfiguration, waiting for the professor to come.

Remy had given up any chances of having a conversation with the ecstatic mutant long ago, and had resorted to flirting with any attractive Ravenclaw seventh years. Kira wouldn't notice if the teacher actually came in the room.

She wondered what class would be like. Would she actually be able to keep up? She managed to turn a rat into a needle and vice versa perfectly, but she wondered if she could handle what they would throw at her.

"Miss Blaire?" The cold, clipped voice of the Gryffindor head of house broke her out of her dazed thoughts.

"I prefer Kira." She said automatically, smiling despite the memories that back whenever someone even said her name.

"I am a teacher, Miss Blaire, therefore I will call you what I please."

"No, really, Kira is fine."

"Miss B-"

"Don't call me that!" She cried before running out of the room.

Not. Overreacting. At. All.

* * *

Blaise Zabini stepped into the common room and stared at the scene of the new witch huddled in a corner clutching a green satin pillow and crying. Oh, great.

"What's wrong?" He asked, doing his duty as a gentleman.

"Nothing." Kira said shakily, quickly wiping tears from her face.

"Listen, Blaire,"

"My name is Kira." She spat at the stranger.

"Whatever. If you're going to cry, can you atleast do it somewhere where I'm not obligated to comfort you in anyway?" Her eyes snapped up to him and glared, venom in her eyes.

"Oh, you're so unbelievably _nice, _please don't let me interrupt any important plans you have."

"No need to get touchy." He said, tossing her a handkerchief, "Wipe up your face, you look horrid."

She sneered before dabbing at her eyes.

"Whatever." She threw the scrap of fabric in his face and stalked across the room to the stairs. She paused once and looked back at the seventh year, standing there with his handkerchief dangling from his fingers, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He said with no real emotion she could sense before he continued on to the boy's dormitories.

Man, that boy was like a robot.

* * *

Rogue was walking to Herbology, glaring and playing every bit of the anti-social goth she worked hard to create. Until, of course, she saw a first year Hufflepuff boy with messy brown hair and pouting brown eyes cornered by a very menacing Crabbe and Goyle. Somehow, the first year reminded her of Jamie, the little multiplying mutant back home cornered by the other new recruits.

Her angry mask turned into an actual angry face.

"What are y'all doin'?" Rogue asked, her voice dangerously calm.

Crabbe did nothing but glare in her direction and Goyle pounded his fist into his other hand, both warning her to back off.

"Help me!" The little boy squeaked, afraid of the scary Gryffindor but far more terrified by the ugly Slytherins.

"You idiots are gonna leave that kid alone by the tahme Ah count ta five or the gloves are comin' off." Rogue warned. Of course, Crabbe and Goyle had no clue Rogue had poisonous skin, so instead of counting to five and absorbing their nasty thoughts, she just punched Crabbe in the face.

To Goyle and the little Hufflepuff's surprise, Crabbe went out like a light. Rogue wasn't surprised, however. Training with a feral mutant and having an assassin for a mother prepares you for these things.

"What are ya starin' at?" Rogue growled, forcing back a smirk when Goyle whimpered and quickly dragged off Crabbe.

"T-thank you." The Hufflepuff boy stuttered, still clutching to the wall as if it was his lifeline.

"No problem." Rogue shrugged, giving him a small smile.

"I'm Eric."

"Rogue."


	34. Pancakes and Staring

Disclaimer: I own naught but Kira and the purple haired girl.

Giggling gossipping gits, all of them. Yeah, I'm using your British insults against you.

Rogue stabbed her pancakes and shoveled them into her mouth.

"What do you think her real name is?"

"I don't know. If she goes by Rogue, it must be something really embarrassing."

"It can't be worse than _Ginevra_. I don't know _what _my mum was bloody thinking when she named me that."

"But what if it's, like, Daphodile or something?"

"Ouch."

The group of girls all collapsed into giggles and some even had to stop drinking their pumpkin juice.

Rogue, of course, who had an unnaturally good sense of hearing lately (probably from absorbing Logan too many times after she was mortally wounded, since it beat the hell out of bandages) glared at the teenage girls and they immediately shut up. Rogue smirked to herself, feeling accomplished.

"_Mon chere, _y' not scarin' deh little _femmes_ are y'?" Remy asked cheerfully, straddling bench she was sitting on and breathing a few inches away from her. Rogue made sure that everyone knew not to come anywhere near her, and thanks to her glaring they stayed at least five feet away from her at all times. Remy winked at the group of giggling girls and the girls... giggled. Remy felt proud. The Author laughed at the fact she was starting every sentence with someone's name.

But Remy, he was too stupid to understand that her glares meant 'back off' instead of 'come hither'.

"Who cares?" Rogue stabbed her waffles before deciding it needed more syrup. Maybe she would try the blueberry one.

"Y' plan on drownin' y' food with syrup?"

"Maybe if Ah'm lucky Ah can pretend Ah'm drownin' you." Rogue said sweetly.

"Y' wound dis Cajun."

"If yah don' get outta here soon yah gonna wish an insult's all ya got." Remy smirked and leaned closer to Rogue's ear, his hot breath surrounding her. Rogue's pale cheeks turned the slightest bit pink and Remy grinned. Mission completed.

"Remy don't think you want t' get rid of him, _non?_"

She sat up suddenly, abandoning her plate, and stalked out of the large room.

* * *

Three tables away from the grinning Cajun, a brunette sighed. 

"Stupid head." Kira muttered to herself.

"What?" Draco Malfoy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Remy. He sucks at seducing Rogue if he honestly thinks getting her hot and bothered every bloody time he talks to her is going to get her to open up to him." Kira ranted, noting how she was picking up the British accent she loves. He he, she said 'bloody'

"Rogue?"

"Honestly, you can't be the prince of Slytherin if you can't even remember transfer students names." She chastised, sipping her root beer that she managed to transfigure from that awful beverage they force on unsuspecting students, "Rogue is the girl with the white stripes in her hair and the scary makeup."

"The skunk girl?"

"Yup."

"And you know her well?"

"God," Kira sighed, "You're worse than Remy." She left the table, leaving Draco to ponder over whatever was on his mind.

A girl watched her leave with purple hair shrouding her vision.

* * *

"Rogue?" A small timid voice asked. 

Rogue whipped around, ceasing her stopping, and glared until she realised she was looking at the small Hufflepuff she defended earlier. Then her eyes warmed and she let a little bit of her mask fade, smiling slightly.

Eric breathed a sigh of relief, at peace now that her face wasn't so frightening anymore. The makeup he could ignore. It was like her second skin.

"Yeah, sugah?" Eric beamed and handed her a paper flower. She raised an eyebrow as she held it in her glove hands, "What's this?"

"I just wanted to thank you, for before, with those two scary guys."

"Crabbe and Goyle, sugah. The semi-scary blond Slytherin boy's lackeys. Just common thugs, no big deal."

"What about the blond one?"

"Lahke Ah said, common thugs."

"T-the flower's charmed to feel like rose petals. And it smells like honeysuckle. And hey, this flower won't die!" Eric laughed nervously and Rogue chuckled. Rogue carefully peeled off one of her gloves and felt the petal, smiling when it didn't whither and die. Usually when she touched a plant with her bare hands she absorbed that too. And it dried up.

Why do you think her skin was so perfect even with all that makeup she caked on?

"Thanks, sugah. Ah really appreciate this." She patted him on the head after putting on her gloves rather than hugging him, but Eric beamed all the same.

"What class do you have?" He asked as the two walked down the hall.

"Transfiguration." She said, frowning slightly. That woman had a bigger stick up her ass than Scott Summers.

"Oh, I have Potions."

"With the Ravenclaws?"

"Yeah, how'd ya know?"

"It seems lahke Dumbledore is tryin' tah get the school tah get along o' whatevah, so he's pairin' the worst rival houses togethah."

"But we're not fighting."

"Yeah, but the other two houses are."

"Oh."

"Try not tah get Snape too mad."

"He scares me."

"Ah think that's what he was goin' fo'."


	35. Finally, the Golden Trio

Friday mornings. It always inspired hope and cheer into the student's hearts, with the hope that the weekend would come.

There was never a sad student on Fridays.

Except for Kira.

After looking at herself in the mirror for a split second, she rushed out of the bathroom in her pajamas and slid down the staircase, running up to the section where the male students resided and searched the golden engraved nameplates for her dear friend. And ignored the enormously large run-on sentence too.

"I'm fat!" Kira ran into Remy's room along with a few nameless male Slytherin students and fell on the sleepy Remy buttoning up his shirt. He had pants, readers. Sheesh.

Stumbling backwards, Remy got a hold on Kira before fell down and blinked, "What? S'too early for dis, _petit_."

"I'm fat, Remy! My stomach is squishy now! It's _squishy_! Full of flubber and globs of fat and... fat!" Remy, frowned, poked Kira's stomach, and rolled his eyes.

"Kira, dat's called skin. It's stretchy and sometimes a little squishy."

"It's fat! I don't feel as fit as I used to with the four hour workout sessions and the four AM jogs around the mansion!" She was slowly dwindling down into a blob of comatose fat, struggling to move.

"Kira, y' overreactin'. Now shush and let Remy finish gettin' dressed."

"You don't understand, Gambi! You haven't changed at all! You're still the bloody Adonis that girls bloody swoon over!" He raised an eyebrow at the ranting girl now standing on her own, "I pride myself on being stronger than others. Unless their powers are super strength. I'm losing my touch, man!"

"Kira, y' fine."

"No, I've gotten cocky with my fitness so far and started eating platefuls of food three times a day! How is it that all the other students are still skinny?"

"Jus' start trainin' again."

"Where? I don't see a gym." Remy rolled his eyes.

"Join deh Quidditch team or somethin'. Can I get dressed now?"

Kira nodded with a smile and ran outside, yelling out a farewell, "Sure! I'll meet you in the common room so we can go bother Rogue and I can laugh at you flirting with her!"

Remy looked at all of the boys staring at him and raised an eyebrow, "What's so interestin'?"

The boys looked at how his brown eyes (he charmed it, people! Magic!) seemed to spark with a bright red and quickly turned away.

* * *

"One potato, two potato, three potato, four! Uh, what comes after that Remy?" Kira was extremely bored. They had been waiting for five whole minutes for Rogue to come outside! They checked the Great Hall first, because honestly, it was Grrrreat! Then decided to wait by the portrait of a fat woman for Rogue to come out.

So far no one had come out at all. Maybe because classes didn't start for another hour and a half.

"Remy dunno, _chere_. Dat's all he hears before he t'reatens deh fire freak wit' a charged card jammed up his-" Kira glared at Remy, "mouth?"

"So, have you met any of the Wonder Squad yet?" Kira asked, changing the subject.

"_Non_, have you?"

"No. Harry seems a bit whiny."

"So y' all set on ignorin' him because he reminds y' of Jamie?"

"No, Bobby. Jamie's too cute and he only whines because the older kids ignore him."

"You don' ignore deh _petit_."

"That's because my mind is still in it's ten year old state. He's actually older than me... mentally."

"Remy never can get over how strange y' are, _chere_."

"Hey, you love me for my psychotic tendencies, and don't you forget it." She leaned on the fat lady the moment it opened, causing her to stumble forward and roll at the last minute. She bounced up immediately and threw her hands up in the air like an accomplished gymnast.

She turned around to face three creeped out faces and two impassive facial expressions.

"Roguey! You're alive!" Kira hugged the disgruntled Goth in school robes, only to be thrown off before she even got close.

"Yeah, but in a minute you won't be."

"Aw, I love you too."

"_Chere! _What took y' so long?" He, despite his affections that sometimes cloud his judgement, knew better than to touch the violent girl.

"Ah woke up ten minutes ago, idiot. This is early fo' meh. Now move, Ah'm hungry."

"Anyt'in' fo' y', _chere_." The red haired one of the trio that was so far unnoticed snorted at Remy and the two Slytherins snapped their gaze onto the three with a predatory (A/N: Did I use that word right?) grin.

"Weren't we just talking about them?" Kira asked, still keeping her eyes on the three heroes of Hogwarts.

"_Oui._"

"You're not going to attack us right outside the Gryffindor common rooms, are you?" Harry asked, thinking he was smart for pointing out the obvious.

"We're not going to attack you, genius."

"We have more class den dose two fools who follow around Malfoy."

"Seeing as we're not lackeys."

"And we have a brain."

"Not lahke ya use it much. Food. Now."

"Fine, we're coming."

"Wouldn't want to keep _mon chere _waiting."

"Ah ain't yo deah, swamp rat."

The trio, who so far have remained silent, exchanged a glance and all mouthed 'swamp rat?' at the same time before following them to breakfast.


	36. Define Flying

Kira and Remy thought it best to disregard all school rules, some known and others unspoken guidelines the students have set down themselves, and sit with Rogue for breakfast. Though she acted annoyed, both of them knew she appreciated the gesture. Even after she punched Remy in the arm. 

"Did you hear? The head boy and girl need help planning something to welcome back students to Hogwarts." Kira said excitedly after drinking most of the root beer in her goblet.

"Where'd ya heah that?" Rogue frowned, stabbing some of her pancakes.

"On the bulletin board in the common room."

"We have a bulletin board?" Remy asked.

"Yes, all the houses have bulletin boards."

"Really?" Rogue's eyes widened slightly in shock.

"Whatever. I was thinking of bothering Draco with a sort of 'welcome back' dance for the students. Or, for teachers like Snape, an 'I hope you die very soon from the poisoned drinks' event."

"Ah ha! You're planning on killing us!" Ron shouted, only hearing part of what Kira said.

"Yes. I poisoned all of your drinks and then said it very loudly for you to hear, practically warning you to not drink the goblets I have poisoned for my very own pleasure. Honestly, you're not very bright."

He scowled, his ears tinged red, but stabbed his food and ate.

* * *

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" Kira yelled, holding a flyer in the air for anyone on their lunch break to see. 

Rogue rolled her eyes.

"Ah leave ya for a few hours and already yah had a career change?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Well, as I found out yesterday, Draco and Hermione are Head Boy and Girl, as if it wasn't obvious by their shiny badges." Rogue raised an eyebrow, "So I decided to listen to the bulletin board and think of something fun! I've also decided to become more active with my life in Hogwarts, not settling for just bugging anyone who comes my way. And since Draco and I were on semi-okay speaking terms, I asked him about having a masquerade ball. It'd be a great way to stay out all night without worrying about a curfew, since all masquerade balls unmask at midnight and the only other dance, according to McGonnagal, is at graduation."

"And?"

"He said 'whatever you bloody spaz'. I didn't think that was much of a confirmation, so I asked Hermione and she said it'd be a terrific idea! Good person, that Gryffindor. She can be friendly with a Slytherin. Anyway, she said we could have a Halloween masquerade ball! She got to planning right away and I offered to help! Now that the base of the decorations are planned, we're going for a medieval thing to match the castle by the way, we thought that the bulletin boards in the common rooms wouldn't be advertisement enough,"

"There are bulletin boards in the common rooms?"

"Exactly! No one knows they're even there! And I even told you this morning. So I offered to help advertise!"

Rogue looked around the castle and noticed that almost every hallway was decorated with flyers.

"Ah think ya got the point across."

* * *

"Hi Draco!" It was lunch, she handed out all the flyers, the spot semi-across from Draco Malfoy was empty, she had talking to do. 

"Traitor." He sniffed, stabbing some of his pork chops.

"Excuse me?" She had been called many things in her life, but few times had she been called a traitor without knowing the reason why.

"Do you know what it means to be loyal to Slytherin? Yes, you're a little insane, but that doesn't mean you should go and sit with the _Gryffindors. _That's worse than declaring your love for a Hufflepuff."

"Back off of her." A purple haired Slytherin said, "People are allowed to have friends in Gryffindor. She was sitting with the Rogue girl. She's cool and she hates the kids in her house."

"Bloody hell, Beckins. Are you standing up for a _blood traitor_?"

"Who's blood am I betraying!? I was sitting with Rogue, for god sakes. Thanks for defending me, by the way. My name is Kira."

"Chastity." They shook hands with a grin.

"Cool. Malfoy, I am allowed to continue to be friends with the people I have known for years, and will occasionally eat food with them. So back off." She smiled suddenly, grabbing a burger and conjuring a dill pickle to munch on. Magic was fun. "So, Draco, when I was homeschooled in America, they neglected to teach me the joys of Quidditch. Or flying, for that matter."

Draco choked on his pork chop and one of his lackeys pounded him on the back. The laws of choking worldwide disappeared and he swallowed his food, raising an eyebrow, "You don't know how to fly?"

"Well, define _flying_." She could float when she froze everything, something she figured out when she lived in the Baxter Building and her power-aches eased up slightly, but was that really flying? It was more like swimming.

"Flying on broomsticks."

"Oh, that? No. Care to teach me?" She smiled her most famous smile in all of her known smiles, this one having a 92 success rate. Snarling feral mutants (both that she knew) were the reason for the drop in percentage.

"Why would I waste my time teaching someone the basics that I learned before first year?"

"Because you love me?" She asked hopefully. The blank stare was kind of unnerving. "Okay, because you like rubbing in the fact that you're superior and you'll probably get a kick out of my pathetic attempts to fly gracefully."

"Friday. Midnight. Buy a broom."

She raised an eyebrow. _Buy _a broom? Yeah, sure, she'll just waltz out of the magically shielded school and skip over to Hogsmeade, buying a broom with her _American _money.

"Fine, borrow one of the battered common brooms the school owns." Oh, did she say her reasons for her eyebrow raising out loud?

She smiled, finished with the burger she had occasionally been munching out of while convincing Draco to help her fly, "Great then," She stood up and kicked her chair in. She was the type that didn't leave her chair feet away from the table, but that didn't mean she had to be polite about it, "It's a date."

Draco's snort went unnoticed by the two goons on either side of him who were stuffing their faces with food. They didn't even deserve to have their names written down. The two were just one being, split in half so they could protect Draco better. They were... Croyle.

* * *

Gambit and Rogue were not so happy compared to their hyper friend. 

Rogue was currently glaring at an unknown Slytherin and Gambit was rubbing her shoulders in an attempt to calm her down. The Slytherin had made a snarky comment abouto Gambit being a traitor to his house, and Rogue immediately blew up. Not literally, but the way the Slytherin was cowering against a wall, it was as if her hair was floating around her and fire was shooting out of her eyes.

"Where do ya get off callin' people traitors for conversing with people outside of that pathetic cult you call a house!? Y'all are backstabbin' little cowards rootin' for a guy who couldn't even kill a baby! He's pathetic and doesn't deserve the support of you death eaters! He's just a stupid old man who's trying to defeat death."

"The wars already over." He snarled.

"Oh really? Huh, who woulda thunk." She deflated for a moment before glaring again, "And after all that yah still think ya gotta right tah call people traitors!? What do yah think ya did tah the rest of the wizardin' society!?" Her accent was twice as thick as before as she heaved, taking out all her anger into the glare she sent to poor kid who immediately passed out, "Weaklin'."

Remy chuckled.

Author's Note: So, it's been awhile since I updated, but no worries, I'm still alive. And I will post chapters! For those of you who don't go to my author's page, and you're all wondering about how the author sees her main character, Kira, what she_ really _looks like, then go to http:// monachus-satraps. deviantart. com (are links always messed up here? Delete the spaces, pweez) and witness the pitiful gallery I created a few weeks ago and am advertising shamelessly.


	37. Draco Gets BURNED

Why did Rogue never have anything better to do then walk around the hallways? It was better than staying in the common room, of course. Red was never her color and the students there annoyed her. Were fictional characters with magic powers always so damn annoying? 

She glared at someone walking her way, growling when he had the nerve to block her way.

"Can Ah help you?" She spat, glaring at the blond Slytherin. He was probably Draco Malfoy.

"You're not one for pleasantries, are you?" He asked in what he thought was a charming matter. But, for Rogue, nothing was charming unless it came from the Cajun. Not that she would admit something like that, of course. "Draco Malfoy." He said his name as if she should've already known that. She did, of course, but that didn't mean she would admit it.

"Sorry, mah name's not Draco Malfoy. Ah think yo' lookin' fo' a Hufflepuff." She smiled sweetly and walked away, leaving the boy shocked and angry.

He stalked into the common room angry and fuming, only to have hands cover his eyes the minute he walked inside.

"Drakie Poo!" Chastity squealed, jumping on Draco from behind.

"Parkinson!" He yelled blindly, "Get the hell off of me!"

"Ha! I knew it!" Chastity said proudly, "Kira! Gimme ten sickles!"

"Is he really that deaf?" Kira asked, handing Chastity the money, "He's spent like, all his life with Pansy and anyone who yells his pet name and hugs him is mistaken for her?"

"Drakie?!" Pansy asked, hearing their conversation, "Is it true? Do you not know me at all!?"

"I know how annoying you are." He said, brushing off her concerns and making his way to his couch. Bloody girls, they were insane.

So that left Kira with her new Hogwarts friend, bored and slightly hyper from pixie sticks.

Hogwarts... beware.

Author's Note: Extremely short chapter, sorry. I had to edit the advertisement I stuck on the bottom of the last chapter since is apparently stupid and didn't let me post the full URL for some wacked up reason, so I thought that I would post another chapter for your reading experience.  



	38. Heeeere's Johnny!

"Did you do it?"

"Yeah, nobody pays attention to the girl with the bright purple hair." Chastity first thought that what she said would be considered as sarcasm, but then realized that the more colors she attacked her hair with, the less people noticed her. She might as well transfigure herself into a happy little pink pony and trot through life on rainbows and hearts. Nobody would notice.

"It makes you just blend into the shadows."

"The purple shadows. Right."

"Being invisible is handy. It's like a secret weapon."

"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the things that people do when they think no one is watching."

"I know. An old roommate of mine would sing about squirrels when he'd think that no one was around." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "Actually, he'd do it anyway. Strange bloke."

"Where the bloody hell did you used to live?"

"A very shiny metal place..." She shook her head, goosebumps rising on her white clad arms. School uniforms were so cute! As long as she only wore them sometimes. She'd hate it if she had to wear these the rest of her life. Or if she had to wear _robes _for the rest of her life. Those poor magical beings. Forced into a life filled with the stereotypical attire for witches and wizards because of J.K. Rowling.

"Whatever. Are you sure this is going to work?"

Kira laughed evilly.

Chastity rolled her eyes. You ask a simple question and all you get is laughter. Weirdo.

* * *

"Suuueee," Johnny whined, sitting on a couch, "I'm boooored." 

"Then go do something." Sue shrugged him off, writing more plans for her wedding. White roses or red? Both!

"But there's nothing to do! I've already hit every single club in the state, and half of them in Japan." He loved flying.

"Then go hit the rest of them!"

"How do you think Kira is?" He asked suddenly, creating a fireball and tossing it in his palm out of boredom.

"I don't know. And stop that before you set fire to the living room again." The fire disappeared but his boredom didn't.

"Let's go visit her!" Sue slowly set down her pencil and looked at her brother.

"And how do you propose we do that?"

"Easy! We have Reed create a machine that travels into alternate realities and go visit her!"

"Do you know how many alternate realities there are now that Kira has proven them to actually exist?"

"Countless!" He said happily and Sue rolled her eyes, "But she's from X-Men: Evolution, that dorky television series that ended ages ago. But for some reason she's not dorky. Much."

"Whatever, go bug him then."

"Okay!"

Far away, Mojo smirked. Things would get interesting, very very soon.

"I can't believe you actually made a machine that lets us go inside the _television_." Sue sighed and Ben let out a snort at the hilarity of the situation.

"Not inside the television, for their reality has escalated far beyond that point and it's pretty safe to say that they aren't two dimensional beings. It was actually pretty easy. If you just overlook the-"

"Dude, no one will understand the techno mumbo jumbo," His sister glared, "Except of course for Sue, but you can talk about that later in the bedroom."

"Can it, Sparky." Ben growled.

"Likewise, Rocky." He mocked, the two of them glaring at each other.

Reed rolled his eyes as Sue snapped at them to stop fighting with each other and pressed a few buttons on the small dome-shaped machine he was holding, a bright white bubble enveloping them before they disappeared.

"Hello fellow freaks!" Johnny stepped forward into what appeared to be the living room, since a dozen mutants were gathered there doing nothing at all.

"Eek!" Kitty shrieked, phasing through the couch as the Fantastic Four appeared from nowhere in a bright white flash with a loud greet.

"Where'd the kid go?" Ben asked, weirded out by the girl who seemed to disappear into nowhere.

"That must be Shadowcat, she can phase through solid objects." Reed explained, earning a few stares, "I read comics as a child."

"Really? I just had, you know, a life. Lucky bastard."

"Johnny!"

"Sue!" He mocked her and she slapped him, "Ow!"

SNIKT!

"You've got ten seconds to tell us why you're here."

"Kira." Ben said, using only half of the time given to him.

"She ain't here."

"Then where ain't... is she?" Johnny asked, confusing himself with Logan's way of speaking and lack of grammar.

"Probably starting her own mini series by now. And with Stripes and Gumbo no less." Logan popped open his beer bottle with his claw and sitting on the couch, his eye twitching when Kitty finally decided to get up. And phased right through him.

"Ew, Mr. Logan. You, like, need to stop drinking and smoking so much, it's making you smell totally icksome!" He growled, "Or, like, not. You smell, like, totally masculine. Like a forest of manliness."

"That's enough half-pint." He growled.

"Sure, Mr. Logan."

"So, you don't have a mailing address or something?"

"The three of them are in another reality, side affect of the kid's time and space powers. Chuck is working hard to find 'em, but every time we get a hold of 'em they disappear."

"So... they're in other shows?"

"Yeah, bub. Your trips wasted."

**Author's Note: **Yes, I am bringing back the Fantastic Four... in a way. I realized that I was completely ignoring what was happening in the rest of the world, so in my way of making up for it, I'm making fun things happen! Everywhere! Hopefully my messing with everyone won't affect the new Fantastic Four movie that I have yet to see. It disappeared from my favorite theatre before I got to see it.


	39. Ew, Black Puke

**Disclaimer**: I own naught but Kira

"Kira!" Rogue yelled, grabbing her collar and throwing her against the wall, staying at least two inches away from her bare skin.

"Yes?" Kira asked innocently, wondering what the hell she did that she didn't know she did now.

It's not fun dangling a foot above the air pushed up against a wall because a freakishly tall mutant is mad at you. It was exciting the first time this happened, because whoopee! You're up in the air, finally tall for once, but now it was just tiring, the whole student body was staring at her, the ones in the hallway at least, and she was worried that if she fought back then not only the girl who calls herself the _Rogue _would try and kill her, but Remy would decide that his love for Rogue was worth beating his best friend up too.

"Tell your little obsession-"

"I do not obsess!" She said indignantly

"Whatevah. Tell _Malfoy_-"

"You thought I was obsessed with Malfoy? I'd rather go back to Baxter Building and confess my undying love for Hot Head!" The students watching the exchange blinked, having no idea what she was talking about, "Not that I love him, of course," She giggled nervously, "He's just cute, and funny, and **bad thoughts!**" She shook her head. No thinking about boy in twenties that you actually _know_ now (which means it doesn't count as a celebrity crush!) like that. Ew.

"Ah. Don't. Care." Rogue ground out, her right eye twitching. Kira would laugh if she didn't care what Rogue would do to her. "Tell that stupid little ferret that if he _evah _tries to talk tah me again Ah will take his little censor _dangles_ it's safe now and shove them up his ass!" Kira blinked.

"That would be worse than having the stick shoved up Scott's ass transferred to his butt! That counts as castrating."

"Creep." She muttered letting go of Kira.

"Why don't you just go tell him yourself, tall one?" How come _everyone _was taller than her? At first she thought it was just men, because of their freaky growth hormones. But now girls were taller too! Well, just Rogue, but she counts as a girl!

"Because if Ah did all he'd hear was me sayin' Ah'd touch his censor again _winky_ heh heh."

Kira snorted.

"Don't worry, I'll tell him."

"Hello Blondie." Kira smiled pleasantly at the blond, frowning a little when he noticed he still looked perfect, then nodded to his body guards on either side of him. Chastity slid up beside her and went through the same ritual before her gray eyes doused with a dull green settled on the boy's cold blue and green tinted gray eyes.

"What do you two want?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"You, my friend..." Chastity glanced at Kira, subtly telling her to finish the sentence.

".. are a pixie stick." Kira said after a few seconds.

"What?" He asked, "A _pixie stick_?" It was probably one of those stupid muggle devices.

"You _suck _pixie sticks." Chastity corrected.

"I suck myself?" He clarified, utterly confused.

Kira and Chastity burst into laughter, sometimes pointing at the poor confused boy and gasping for breath (A/N: That actually did happen, and the poor boy still doesn't get it. And to think he didn't know what a pixie stick was... heh heh.)

"Anyway," Kira said, running a hand through her hair, "Rogue," He immediately perked up at the name. She had been his latest conquest ever since she dented his ego a few class periods ago. If he wasn't so utterly gorgeous, he would consider what he was doing _stalking_. But really, he was just allowing her to bask in his wonderful glory, "told me to tell you to leave her alone or else she'll castrate you and shove the remains up your butt. Or make you eat them. I don't know, I was kind of distracted by the fact that my life was being threatened too."

"Now that the warning has been delivered," Chastity continued, "Let us go to the female dorms and plot."

"I can think of no argument for that."

And so the two psychotic little girls skipped to the dungeons.

* * *

Most people considered himself a musician. There wasn't much else for him to be known as, just his wild hair and vast amounts of piercings and tattoos. Some considered him an "artist", others thought he was a deadbeat punk with nothing to do with his life. That was before his band made it big, of course. Then they thought of him as a punk who got all the breaks.

Right now he and his band that caught all the breaks were playing a gig in New York. He was back to back with one of his best friends, and bandmates, nodding his head to the notes he strummed on his guitar. Bryan was doing the same, both of them in tune with each other along with leaning on each other for support.

One of his high notes struck something in his mind, causing him to wince, but otherwise keep on playing. He tried to get lost in the music, but the migraine that was suddenly pushing through his mind made it hard for him to concentrate on where his fingers were supposed to go. His guitar felt like hot liquid in his hands, melting through everything.

The music suddenly stopped and he heard people scream, not an unusual occurrence in concerts, but this time it sounded like it was from fear. He stumbled, finding out he stopped actually playing long ago, and was overwhelmed with dizziness. Someone tried to hold him up, but he fell anyway, puking on the ground and covering a wire, either from a microphone or his own guitar, with a vile, black liquid tinted with green.

"What the hell did I eat?" He managed to rasp, his gloved palms leaning on the ground for support. His friends forgotten in the background, staring at him, he noticed out his puke seemed to be sinking, steam coming off of it. Was he hallucinating? Maybe someone drugged his drink.

He stumbled up, holding his guitar and looked around dumbly before something wet trickled down his bare fingers. His fingerless gloves were still there, but his guitar looked like it was melting, or the handle he was touching was.

He screamed.

"Mutie!" Shouts came from the crowd, drenched with fear.

People were running away from him. His friends looked scared. What was happening? The ground beneath him was sinking slowly, like quicksand.

He had to get out of here.

* * *

"Oh my _god, _how long does it take for him to take one bloody shower!" Kira exclaimed as soon as they made sure that the coast was clear. She sat cross-legged on her bed and frowned.

"I'm sure he's got to eventually. I thought he was obsessed with _purity. _He's got tons of bottles of shampoos in his dresser, I wasn't sure which one to infect." Chastity sighed and leaned her head back against her bed.

"Regular shampoo, plainest bottle you can find." Kira responded automatically, "He'll use that one the most, the ones that have fancy words like exfoliating and stuff are ones they use every other day."

"What.. the... bloody... hell?" Chastity blinked.

"I know a guy who uses twice as much stuff as that guy. I know how to ruin someone's hair."

"Whatever. He has Quidditch today, two o'clock, so he'll be all hot and sweaty and practically _begging _for a shower."

"So, an hour before dinner then."

"Yes."

"I'm sure Rogue can spare a few hours in the day for a laugh."

Author's Note: Ooh, drama! Who is the mysterious famous dude being called a mutant? What did Kira and Chastity do to Draco's beauty products? How pissed at Draco is Rogue really from the annoying dialogue I haven't featured in the story at all?

How long am I gonna draw this story out?

Only time will tell!


	40. There's No Point in LIving! Sob!

The common room was vacated.

That meant empty.

Everyone was having a group session or something in an abandoned room.

That meant wild parties.

Chastity and Kira were sitting in green sofas by the fireplace playing the game where you say one thing and then a person says another, over and over and over until you finally end up giggling madly. Right now they were singing a duet of "Rubber Ducky" while Rogue was bored and waiting for the "big surprise" concerning Malfoy's embarrassment.

"Rubber ducky, you're the one."

"You make bathtime lots of fun!"

"Will y'all both **shut up**!? Ah wanna see that annoyin' dick in all his gloreh! Yo' singin' ain't makin' meh any happier!"

"You wanna see his winky!?" Kira squealed in shock.

"No, ya honkin' idiot! Ah mean-"

"You ruined my hair!"

"No, I didn't." Kira stared in confusion at Rogue before realizing it was a guy who was now yelling at her, "Oh, wait. Yeah, I did."

He didn't look so perfect right now. His face was formed into a scowl with a pinch of despair muddled inside his eyes as he strutted down the staircase. His hair that used to be perfect, even when windblown, was tangled, and most importantly… black.

"What did you do!" He glared at the trio of snickering girls with as much hate as he could muster with his dark black hair. Not like there was any other way to describe black.

"What do you mean what did I do?" Kira asked innocently.

"You ruined my hair!"

"You are on no grounds to accuse anyone of doing anything that could lead to a punishment of any sort unless you are sure in your accusations and have undeniable proof!"

He lifted a strand of purple hair.

"I found this on the ground."

"Chastity!"

"What! How would I know that when I fell, knocked over all the bottles, and in a panic put them all back that I would shed!"

"Shed?" Rogue asked.

"Yes! Shed!" She pouted, crossing her arms and growling. And ruining the pouting effect. Creepy girl.

"I give up," He sobbed, sitting down on the couch next to Kira and putting his head into his hands. "I see no point in living if I can't be beautiful!(A/N: Howl's Moving Castle.)"

"Oh gawd," Rogue sighed, "Yo' such a wimp. Just bleach it back."

Kira giggled slightly as Draco stared at Rogue in disbelief.

"Bleach? You mean that _muggle_ concoction that would harm my hair?"

"As far as Ah see it, yo' hair's already messed up from that stupid gel ya use to look like some plastic doll. If ya don't want to bleach it and get it back to yo' surprisingly unnatural ghost-like hair, then fine. Your hair will be black forever. Maybe then y'all can ruffle it constantly, get green contacts and sharpies and draw a lightening bolt on yo' forehead so you can be Harry Potter!"

He gaped at her and she sighed, leaning back on his couch and staring at him, daring him to object her comfiness in his living quarters, "Listen, Blondie, yo' a little bit attractive, but yah way too stupid for me tah think of ya as anythin' other than an annoyin' little pest."

"Besides, she's fallen for Remy already." Kira stated. Nobody was getting in the way with those two getting together. Fear the angry best friend.

"No, Ah ain't fallin' fo' _nobody_."

"And when she talks there are so many grammatical errors that the English teacher back home hated her."

"It ain't mah fault he can't handle the way Ah talk."

"Do you think he's alive?" Kira poked Malfoy, standing with his bathrobe tied loosely around his pale, porcelain looking skin. Damn veela blood. Why couldn't she have pretty skin like that? It was all tan and freckly like.

"You'd rather be with the mudblood lover?" He said, not noticing the conversation change, referring to Gambit.

Rogue sighed, knowing she wouldn't have to say anything with the way Kira was fuming. It was always prejudice that set Kira off, even if it didn't involve her. That, and whenever anyone said hell fire. And she wasn't even religious.

"Listen, Malfoy, you're adorable in a way and serve as eye candy for the majority of the school's population, including me, but you need to get past this discrimination of yours. All you're proving really is that people raised in rich pureblood families are complete asses. Yeah, the smart ass thing is attractive, but the cruel name calling mudblood thing is just downright... disgusting, which turns most off of the whole attractive thing.

"True, powerless _average_ people," She said with a slight sneer, "Can seem stupid, ignorant, bigoted, and just about the most aggravating type of human ever come to existence, but that doesn't mean that anyone somehow related to _muggles_ should be tortured and killed for something most can't help. You're human, they're human, get in touch with your inner tree hugger.

"The fact that you would prosecute someone just for their parents or relatives is so unbelievably cruel and sickening and just looking at your leering at me is enough to make me storm out of the room!" And storm out of the room she did, with Rogue and Chastity following.

Five minutes had passed in absolute silence as Draco Malfoy struggled to grasp what she had ranted about in an unbelievably fast pace.

"My gelled hair isn't stupid."

* * *

"Kira, ya know he only calls people mudblood and shit outta habit, right?" Rogue said as soon as Kira slowed to a fast walk. Chastity was a few far far aways, struggling to keep up. Hogwarts had no gym. 

"Why the hell would he do that?" Kira sneered, still stalking down the hallways.

"Fo' someone as insightful as you, you sure are dense."

"I am not _dense!_"

"Ya heard about how his life is now. Do you think he would seriously come to the side of the _light _if he still thought that muggleborns were inferior?"

"I dunno. Maybe he saw that that side was winning."

"And did ya notice that he doesn't torment students? Only the Golden trio. He sneers, yeah, but doesn't torment."

"Since when are you the voice of reason?"

"Since you were too stupid tah play the part."

* * *

"Curious." Charles Xavier folded his hands in front of him to form his very own pyramid, "A twenty six year old developing mutant powers is a rare occurence." 

"Stranger things have been happenin', Chuck."

"Where is he now?" Cyclops asked, the rest of his team in their uniform willing to help.

"Wandering the streets of New York, melting anything and everything that touches him. He's panicking, but hasn't hurt anyone so far." He gave them the exact coordinates and they immediately set out in their jet to fly a few miles and help the newfound mutant.

* * *

He clutched his head, purple and black locks of hair covering his face. Twice more the black liquid found it's way out of his mouth, sinking into the ground. 

Everything was melting, even his own clothes were a puddle of colors. Still, he continued walking, his feet making their own markings on the solid ground as he staggered along.

Why did it hurt so much?

Finally, he couldn't find it in him to walk anymore and he collapsed on the ground.

Everything stopped melting.

Time of the Author

Yeah, I edited it... I found a bit on my old computer that I forgot to put on, so I... did.


	41. Congratulations, You're a Mutant!

Disclaimer: X-Men/Harry Potter do not belong to me. I know the story makes no sense when compared to Deathly Hollows, but just pretend that there was no seventh book.

Potions. Taught by Professor Slughorn, now that Snape had taken over the DADA position. The Da Da, the Poppa D, the Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Today, we will be creating one of the most powerful potions that have come to existence so far," Slughorn chuckled, waving his wand and not even bother watching as the ingredients etched themselves in white onto the chalkboard, "It is not as useful as the Felix Felicis potion, though some may beg to differ," He allowed himself a few seconds for laughter. As in his own laughter, "But rather links minds of those who drink the same batch, either being the most useful way of communication, or the worst curse that could be put upon you. Does anyone know of this rare, complicated, ancient, _wondrous _potion?" He realized he was getting a little carried away with the pretty little describing words.

Hermione timidly rose her hand, a look of concern on her face. Surely they wouldn't be making a potion that powerful!

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Kira rolled her eyes. Hogwarts was getting a bit boring now that she couldn't just put a bookmark in and do something else, like video games or danger room sessions. And other various important things that she was missing. Did Granger _always _have to answer questions? Her voice screamed superiority and bookwormishness, not like a word like that has ever come into existence, but one can only hope.

"Are you talking about.. the _iunctio mens _potion?" She asked, her voice still drenched with knowledge, but now a bit more shy, worried, ashamed almost.

"Yes! Five points to Gryffindor." Everyone in Slytherin rolled their eyes at the exact same time, even Kira. Her head drooped and hit Chastity's shoulder, wondering if Remy would be mad at her if she started throwing paper balls at his partner's (Rogue) head. Yeah, he probably would. Pfft. Suck up.

"Suck up." Draco sneered at Hermione from across the room, reading Kira's mind along with every other student in the room that wasn't part of the Golden Trio.

His hair was back to it's godly blond state after being ridiculed for the whole night. Kira just knew he bleached it.

"Now, I've made a list of partners that you'll be working with the next few weeks." He took out a long piece of rolled up parchment and the student body groaned in unison.

Assigned partners.

Bloody brilliant.

Chastity Sactimonia (Latin for purity. Her parents were devoted Christians. And she's the exact opposite of. Wow, that must be hard on her life) was partnered with Ron.

"Oh great, a red faced blubbering nobody. Hey, freckle boy, there are other parts of me other than my hair!... Not like that, pervert!"

"Ow!"

Pansy ended up with a freaked out Seamus (scary girl sitting next to him! Aah!)

"Stop staring at me, pervert!"

"Ow!" Scary _violent _girl sitting next to him. Aah!

Rogue was with Draco.

"If you touch me, Ah _will _hurt you." Two threats in one. She would punch him _and _suck the life out of him. It was fun being her.

Draco sneered, no longer liking the freaky girl at all, and sat back. Screw her hourglass athletic figure, Blaire was freakishly in shape too _and _got sorted into Slytherin.

But they were both insane.

Damn.

"I wasn't planning to."

He looked every bit of the superior rich brat.

The great Harry Potter, commonly known in the Slytherin household as "The Boy Who Couldn't Shut Up" was with Kira

"Oh great, the freaking celebrity." Being in Slytherin was affecting her views of the Harry Potter books. Beffore, he was only slightly whiny. Now that she was living the books, he was a whiny overdramatic prat. Yeah, you have to destroy a psychotic immortal incapable of murdering a baby. She took down a large corporation of elite decieving mutant psychos. No need to be so angst ridden, "Stop looking so damn awkward, it's making me feel uncomfortable."

"Sorry?"

"Damn straight."

Remy was with Hermione. A very funny sight. She, like the rest of the girls (and some guys) in Hogwarts, were taken by his looks, only she tried to hide them, because she was the pure innocent Gryffindor. Heh. Yeah right, and Chastity lived up to her name. Hermione was red faced, stuttering, and flipping through pages in her book just to have something to do in her life.

And trying to stop giggling whenever Remy flirted with her.

Ron was fuming.

Rogue was fuming, but trying to cover it up by ripping tiny little strands off of her quill. Or her quill out of thousands that she bought with Remy's money.

Blaise Zabini was partnered up with a giggling Lavender. Kira sighed wistfully. If only...

Apparently, since Blaise Zabini was never characterized other than having black hair and being a boy (sixth book material!), he was not rat-faced like Draco, or round like Neville, or _extremely _round like Crabbe and Goyle. He was never drawn, nor had any detail about him whatsoever. So God just decided to make him perfect. In her eyes at least. People, for some reason, still thought Remy was the most attractive man to walk the Earth. Pfft, silly little teenagers. Remy's for Rogue.

Parvati was slowly inching away from Crabbe, and Dean was looking a bit sick when Goyle started eating a crab cake.

Nobody cared who Neville was with, all they knew was that it was a student, and that he/she/it was advanced when it came to potion making.

* * *

He woke up to bright lights and someone whistling a merry tune beside him, his head pounding far worse than any hangover he's had. So far. 

He groaned, rolling onto his side and hearing the crinkling of soft sheets and paper gowns. What'd he do to get into a hospital? Last he remembered he was about to get on stage with the rest of his band.

Oh.

Well, now not only could he make girls' hearts melt, but everything else too. What the hell?

"Ah, Mr. Thompson. I see you are awake." A voice behind where he was lying said cheerily, the whistling immediately ceasing.

He turned over again and opened an eye, a blue face appearing in front of him instead of the usual _man _he was expecting.

"Don't be alarmed. I'm not as menacing as I seem at first. In fact, some often compare me to a large blue stuffed bear."

He rubbed his head, frowning when he noticed an oxygen mask over his mouth. You'd think that that'd be the first thing he noticed.

The blue man took off the oxygen mask, since it was obvious he could breathe on his own now, and he coughed a few times before staring up at him.

"Where am I?"

"You are at Charles Xavier's School for Mutants. Your emerging powers have been quite the surprise for everyone. Least to say your friends are worried sick in the living room."

"Wait, mutants? I'm not a mutant."

"No regular man can melt things with a touch. You're quite lucky you didn't die," He gulped, "Charles is pressing charges against the Powr8 company right now for purposefully using chemicals that are poisonous to mutants."

"Wait, what? I was poisoned?"

"Yes. And it seems to have triggered your otherwise dormant X-Gene." He shook his head. X-Gene? What the hell was that?"

"I see that there still seems to be some confusion on your end. Professor Xavier is on his way to explain things in a more detailed manner, and to help you train your newfound powers."

He laid down on the pillow, not realizing that he'd sat up before, and sighed.

Well, this made things interesting.

A/N: I stole Cybelle's power, didn't I? The melting. Think of the new mutant as a twenty year old Zacky Vengeance appearance-wise.


	42. The Jaded One

"How's life with the jaded one?" Kira asked, jumping on Draco's back as him and his goons were walking out of the common room.

Hogwarts was used to her by now.

"You mean that glaring mess?" Draco sneered, walking normally with a rather insane mutant hanging off his back, "I could do without her."

"That's pretty much how all the partners are thinking. Except for Granger and Brown (Lavender, right?). They got all our good men."

He raised a finely trimmed eyebrow.

"Excluding your hotness, of course." She rolled her eyes as they slowly neared the great hall.

"And how is your project going with _Perfect Potter?_" He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Bloody far from perfect. He's too damn awkward." She paused for the goons to laugh at nothing as soon as Draco let out a chuckle. Weirdo goon monkeys. "Well, this is my stop."

She jumped off of Draco and sat down at the chair right next to the Cajun trying to flirt with Rogue using his eyes.

It wasn't working so well.

* * *

Life was now strange in Hogwarts for Harry. Yes, he was a hero now that he had killed Voldemort once and for all, but his seventh year at Hogwarts was far from what he expected.

Blaire, the new Slytherin, was probably the reason. It was strange how this new Slytherin girl was nice to everyone in the school, even _Filch_, except for him. She gave everyone a smile but saved for him a glare. At first she treated him like some famous person, which he was, along with the rest of the school, but as time went on she grew colder towards him and he barely even had a decent conversation with her. And now they were _partners_.

Which is why he cornered her in a hallway and was demanding to know why she hated him so much.

"You want to know why I hate you?" She asked receiving a nod in response, "I know you didn't defeat Voldemort the first time from your own skill and baby wit." She spat, preparing herself for a long rant, "It was from Voldemort's cowardice and your parent's fucking _love. _That, Harry James Potter, is what I hate about you. You parents and my own fucking stupidity."

Harry was so shocked at the venom in her voice he didn't notice her complete carelessness in saying Voldemort's name.

"For years I've deluded myself, ever since I was a little baby. I was convinced that my parents loved me, that they gave me up to save me from something life threatening and they would eventually find me again and bring me to some happy home in Italy with a white picket fence lined with golden roses. They would tell me they loved me and they would protect me no matter what, and assure me that they left me because they had to protect me. It took me a rocker chick with bright pink hair and a group of motorcycle thugs and their unwillingness to let me go to realize that my whole life was filled with crap!

"They never loved me like your perfect parents did, they didn't sacrifice themselves, they sacrificed _me!_ You're surrounded by so many people who love you and would help you through anything and you act like you've got the fucking world on your shoulders! In the whole entire world I only have seven people in the world who truly care about me and who love me, and I've only been in contact with three so far. I'm travelling with a Goth who can't stand me most of the time and I live in a place surrounded by fellow freaks who think _I'm_psychotic and I only manage to get along with a select few!

"My soul brother, one of the previously mentioned people who love me, is missing and the one person I've ever considered a parent was murdered right in front of me! And unlike you I can remember that moment clearly, thank you. I've got so many bad memories it could make a dementor fat!

"You've got everything in the world! Who cares if your parents are dead!? I hate you, you selfish greedy bastard!" Kira slapped him hard on the face before running off, leaving Harry to stare at her in shock before making his way slowly back to the Gryffindor common rooms.

That was strange.

* * *

"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked upon seeing the shocked boy with his hand on his red cheek enter the common room, "What on Earth happened?"

"Apparently Blaire hates me because I'm an orphan who's parents love him."

"Why on Earth would she hate you because of that?"

"According to what she yelled at me for ten minutes straight, she's an orphan who's parents abandoned her by choice."

"That's dreadful." Hermione said sympathetically.

"No reason to slap the poor mate, though," Ron said, "That woman is stark raving mad."

"Ronald!" Hermione slapped his arm painfully, "How can you be so insensitive!"

"Ow! Watch it, woman!"

"That girl must be so sad, rejected by her own parents! She probably thinks everyone hates her because of it! No wonder she's in Slytherin!"

"No, you're not going to try and be friends with her, are you?"

"Poor girl." She sighed, ignoring him.

Author's Note: I know, I know, you hate me right? I'm sorry, but I can't deny writer's block. It's a horrible thing.


	43. The One Fingered Salute

Ugh, there goes the lights again, killing his eyes. He really should think about waking up.

"Hey, you feelin' better?"

He focused his eyes forward to see his bandmates staring at him. Like those television shows where some dude wakes up and there are just these faces surrounding him.

"I feel like I melted my brain along with my guitar." He groaned, struggling to sit up.

"And your clothes." The frontman chuckled, "I think if the fans weren't scared shitless they would've been catcalling."

He groaned, "So I'm a mutant."

"With acidic powers."

"The guy who runs this place wants me to stay for awhile and 'hone my powers'."

"Sure, I was in need for a vacation and the heart of New York is only a couple miles away." The drummist grinned, showing off some of his silver teeth.

He stared at his bandmembers. They were going to stay too?

"What? You thought we were just going to leave you behind?"

"That was the plan, yeah."

"Wow, your brain really did melt." His fellow guitarist whistled, making his way out of the room, "I'm gonna raid their fridge. Do you think they'll have beer?"

"Not counting on it." The rest of the band slowly started to follow, "It's a school, according to the bald guy."

"The doc said you need to get rest. So sleep."

"That's what I was doing before you started yapping." He grumbled, muttering a few choice words and giving them the one fingered salute.

* * *

"Oh! Kira!" Hermione yelled through the hallway, getting a few strange glances. Harry and Ron, her ho's, sighed and grudgingly followed their pimpette towards the two oddest people in Hogwarts. 

"Kira, someone's calling you." Chastity sighed, leaning against the stone wall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They couldn't even get to the dining hall in peace.

"Really?" She took out her earplugs and turned around, raising a natural, not-so-trimmed eyebrow at the girl with the English afro, "You rang?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to eat brunch at the Gryffindor table with me."

"Potter told you about my breakdown, didn't he?"

It was Chastity's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Well, yes, but-"

"Listen, all of you must think I'm awfully pathetic now, but don't try and be all friendly with me just because of that, okay?"

"But-"

"I'm not interested in a pity friendship. So drop it." She bit out, before stalking away.

"Why-the nerve of that-" Hermione sputtered.

"Slytherin?" Harry offered.

"Agh!" She exclaimed stalking off in the opposite direction Kira went.

"Women." Ron sighed.

The camera zoomed back towards the oddly colored hair and the brunette walking towards the dungeons.

"Why are we going to bother Miss Prissy Pants again?"

"Because I need to ask the Dragon something that hopefully won't make him want to fry me alive."

"Bloody sexist. Have you heard the things he calls your friend? The scary Gryffindor one?"

"A bloody mudblood? She's dealt with worse, trust me. He's only pissed cause she doesn't want to get in his pants."

They faded into the background, laughing like bloody idiots.

Authors Note: A little short, yes, but hopefully funny... The first section was in the land of X-Men: Evolution, for those who were confused why more mutants were in Hogwarts.


End file.
